Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 700

Things you Need to Know!!!

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, Dogs only have about 10.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand;

“lollipop” with your right.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words ‘racecar, ‘ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: “abstemious” and “facetious.”

There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

Now you know everything


A conversation between a husband and wife.

Wife: Do you drink beer?

Husband: Yes

Wife: How many beers a day?

Man: Usually about three

Wife: How much do you pay per beer?

Husband: $5.00 which includes a tip

Wife: And how long have you been drinking?

Husband: About 20 years, I suppose

Wife: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which means you spend about $450 each month. So in one year, it would be approximately $5400. Correct?

Husband: Correct

Wife: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, that means in the past 20 years you spent $108,000. Correct?

Husband: Correct

Wife: Do you know that if you didn’t drink beer, that money could have been put in a savings account and with interest for the past 20 years, you could have bought an airplane?

Husband: OK my turn. Do you drink beer?

Wife: No.

Husband: Where is your airplane?

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