Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 653

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

I decided to go to the local Pow-Wow at the Muskoday Reserve for the first time to see what it was all about:

I sat down and the Cheif came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said:

“By the will of the Elders and the Great Creator - you will walk today.”

I told him I wasn’t paralyzed, But I did have a small bunion on my left foot. He came back and laid his hands on me and looking skywards, earnestly repeated his mantra:

“By the will of the Elders and the Great Creator - you will walk today.”

Once again, I told him there really was nothing wrong with me.

After prayers I stepped outside.

And WHAT THE HELL-

MY CAR WAS GONE!!!!


This One Is Compliments of John A.

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-Eleven store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?” The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.” “I can handle that without a problem,” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the checkout. The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. “We use beer for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at the convent, we call it ‘Catholic shampoo.’” Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: “The curlers are on the house.”


Compliments of the ‘Shy One’

A beautiful young lady had a very nice boyfriend. The boyfriend had to go on a business trip that would require him to be gone for about a month, so he asked his lovely girlfriend if she would mind taking care of his parrot while he was away. So she said of course not.

The first morning that the parrot was at her place, she walked past his cage on her way to the bathroom. The parrot commented, “My, what a pretty pair of blue panties.” The girl was a little taken aback that a parrot could distinguish colors like that. Just to check on whether he actually could tell the difference in colors, she wore yellow panties the next day. The parrot commented, “My, what a pretty pair of yellow panties.” This sort of amazed the girl, so she decided to really test the parrot. The next day she wore green panties and the parrot correctly identified the color. The following day she wore red ones with the same results. She then went through all of her panties trying to trip the parrot up. Nope, he correctly identified them all. So the girl thought she would really try to stump the parrot by not wearing any panties at all. As she walked by the parrot’s cage, he said, “How are you fixed for blades.”!!

 
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