Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 637

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This Bunch Is Compliments of Al!!

SOME OF THESE ARE TRULY HYSTERICAL- ESPECIALLY TOWARDS THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST

“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football” - John Heisman

“I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.” – Bear Bryant / Alabama

“It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!” - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.” – Erik Russell / Georgia Southern

“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” - Lou Holtz / Arkansas - Notre Dame

“When you win, nothing hurts.” - Joe Namath / Alabama

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

“There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.” - Woody Hayes / Ohio State

“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.” - Bob Devaney / Nebraska

“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.” - Wally Butts / Georgia

“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms - Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.” – Alex Karras / Iowa

“My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor.” - Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.” - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

“Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.” - Shug Jordan / Auburn

“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me.” He said,”Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.” - Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

“Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.” - Bobby Bowden / Florida State

“Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport.” - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was, “All those who need showers, take them.” - John McKay / USC

“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” - Murray Warmath / Minnesota

“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

“We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.” - Darrell Royal / Texas

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” - John McKay / USC

“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

Ohio State ‘s Urban Meyer on one of his players:”He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”

 
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