Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 521

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late fifties.

“May I help you sir?” she asked.

The man replied,

“I want to see Valerie.”

“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.

Perhaps you would prefer someone else,” said the madam.

He replied, “No, I must see Valerie.”

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

“There are no discounts. The price is still $5000.”

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man,

“No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?”

The man replied, “New Brunswick.”

“Really,” she said. “I have family in New Brunswick.”

“I know,” the man said. “Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.”


No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.

In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer:

When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!!

He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch!

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