Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
These are compliments of Anonymous
Irish Smiles: I Thought you would get a smile out of some of these...
Irish Smiles Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn’t kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they’re always assured of having a worthy opponent.
An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?”
“Who told you that?” asked Paddy.
Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple? Answer - So the English can understand them.
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.”
“That’s grand!” shouted Reilly. “Does that mean I can keep the money?”
Irish lass customer: “Could I be trying on that dress in the window?”
Shopkeeper: “I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.”
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, “Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantel piece?”
“No,” said himself, “but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.”
Question - What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? Answer - A bachelor.