Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 469

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This one is compliments of Gary:

Jock or Nerd?

The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?".

Submit the following: (This was figured while Michael Jordan was still active in sports [circa 1999].)

Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute at an average 30 minutes per game.

With $40 million in endorsements, he makes $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugar plums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.

He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of "Friends".

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2 every second.

He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax-deferred account (401k), he will hit the federal cap of $95,000 at 8:30am on January 1st.

If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $56,000 a year.

He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100-meter dash in the Olympics.

He'll make about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.

While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5,600.

This year he'll make more than twice as much as all past U.S. presidents for all of their terms combined.

Amazing, isn't it?

However, if Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 250 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.

Game over. Nerd wins.


This one is compliments of George

While helping his elderly parents who were avid and voracious readers prepare to move to an assisted living facility he noticed they were going to give away their massive book collection.

Asking why, they replied, "Son, our memories are shot. All we are keeping are two of our favorite books. When we finish one we simply trade for the one the other was reading. It's just like reading a brand new book every time."

 
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