Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 464

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit

If you have children over the age of three you already know this:

For those who have children this age ... this is not so funny

For those who have children nearing this age ... this is a warning

For those who have not yet had children ... this is birth control

Things I've learned from my children... (honest and no kidding!)

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the words "Uh-oh" it's already to late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

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