Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 463

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

It seems the Royal Navy has PPE-type forms known as OFR's ("Officer Fitness Reports") Here are some excerpts...

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

- When she opens her mouth, it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- I would not allow this employee to breed.

- This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

- This Officer reminds me of a gyroscope - always spinning round at a frantic pace, but never actually going anywhere.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle

- Works well under constant supervision or cornered like a rat in a trap.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies.

1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off.

But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility.

I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend


He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for while.

I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system.

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