Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
The true story of the Chicken Gun. Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound Dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space Shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the Frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of The windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the Windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and A gun was sent to the British engineers.
WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW.
THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S. SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS.
NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO:
"DEFROST THE CHICKEN."
This run is compliments of the 'web_magician'
Yesterday a clown held a door open for me...
I thought it was a nice jester...
Can February march?
No, but April may...
What's the worst thing about a class in ancient history?
The teachers tend to babylon...
I gave away all my dead batteries today.
Free of charge
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
The food is great, but there is no atmosphere.
How do you find Will Smith on a snowy day?
You look for the fresh prince.
What's the best thing about elevator jokes?
They work on so many levels.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
1 or 2? 1 or... 2?
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
Two bears were sitting at the side of the river near Ottawa. The smaller bear turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as cubs. I just don't get it.'
'Well, ' said the big Bear, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians' replied the small Bear.
Hmmm ... I used to go after them but tourists are better. But, where are you catching the politicians?'
'Down near the parking lot by the Government Buildings.'
'Hmm. How do you catch them?'
'Well, I hide under one of their cars and wait for one to unlock the car door.Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'