Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 398

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This compliments of the 'Shy One'

BRILLIANT

Is there a single soul who is surprised that an Engineer came up with this:

10,535 pages reduced to 4 sentences...

READ SLOWLY!

4 simple sentences...

Great summary by a Notre Dame University engineer...

Here are the 10,535 pages of Obama Care condensed to 4 simple sentences...

As humorous as it sounds ... every last word is TRUE!

1. In order to insure the uninsured, we first have to un-insure the insured.

2. Next, we require the newly un-insured to be re-insured.

3. To re-insure the newly un-insured, they are required to pay extra charges (surprise!) to be re-insured.

4. The extra charges are required so that the original un-insured now can be insured, so it will be 'free-of-charge' to them.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is called "redistribution of wealth" or, by its more common name, SOCIALISM, or "PROGRESSIVE", the politically correct names for COMMUNISM!

Wow! What a brilliant way to raise money to fund a free service.


These two are compliments of Lea

Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."

When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."

Her next announcement came about 2 hours later:

"If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."


The Marine Pilot

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.

'Janie, do you have a story to share?'

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens, ' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

 
There is more of this chapter...
The source of this story is Storiesonline

To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account (Why register?)

Get No-Registration Temporary Access*

* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.

Close
 

WARNING! ADULT CONTENT...

Storiesonline is for adult entertainment only. By accessing this site you declare that you are of legal age and that you agree with our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.