Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
You have to be from Ontario Canada to appreciate the following:
The fairest Lay-off Letter ever!
This letter was sent this week by a major employer in Ontario. I guess I feel sorry for those laid off, but they helped cause the problem! I say..."good for this CEO ... he's got guts!"
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Kathleen Wynne is our Ontario Premier and that our taxes, hydro and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But, since we cannot increase our prices right now, due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off 60 of our employees, instead. This really has been bothering me, since I believe that we are family here, and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found 60 'Liberal bumper stickers' on our employees' cars and have decided that these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a fairer way to approach this problem.
They voted for change, so I gave it to them.
I'll see the rest of you at the annual company picnic!
HOT COFFEE and PRIME MINISTERS
I was eating breakfast with my teenaged Granddaughter and I asked her,
What special day is it in Canada tomorrow?".
Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Prime Minister Day!".
She's smart, so I asked her "What does Prime Minister Day mean?".
I was waiting for something about the Trudeaus or Harper etc.
She replied, "Prime Minister Day is when the Prime Minister steps out
of the Prime Minister's Mansion, and if he sees his shadow, we have
4 more years of Bull Shit."
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
Bob, a middle-aged Canadian tourist on his first time in Lincoln, Nebraska, locates the red light district and enters a large brothel.
The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!