Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young Sister Mary Magdalene prepared the bath water and towels, just the way the old nun had instructed. She was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked her how the bath had gone.
'Oh, sister, ' said the young nun dreamily, 'I've been saved.'
'Saved? How did that come about?' asked the old nun.
'Well, when Father John asked me to wash him and he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.'
'Did he now?' said the old nun evenly.
Sister Mary Magdalene continued, 'Father John said that if the key to
Heaven fitted my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. Then he guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.'
'Is that a fact?' said the old nun even more evenly.
'At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to
salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell
my heart with ecstasy - and it did. It felt so good being saved.'
'That wicked old bastard, ' said the old nun. 'He told me it was
Gabriel's Horn and I've been blowing it for 40 years.'