Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 383

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a government.

John Adams

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.

Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

George Bernard Shaw

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Douglas Casey, (Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University)

Giving money and power to government is like giving whisky and car keys to teenage boys.

P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavours to live at the expense of everybody else.

Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.

Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!

Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

Mark Twain (1866)

Talk is cheap ... except when government does it.

Anonymous

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Ronald Reagan

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.

Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.

Thomas Jefferson

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Aesop

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!

P.J. O'Rourke


This one is compliments of Roy

During a heated spat over finances, the husband said, "Well, if you'd learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid."

The wife, fuming, shot back, "Oh yeah? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."


This one is compliments of the 'Shy One'

When Trump purchased and rebuilt Mar-A-Lago, the grand mansion and estate in Palm Beach, Florida, he got into a dispute with the city fathers who are well known for being strict on zoning regulations.

Trump put up a 50-foot flag pole even though 30 feet is the maximum allowed. The city imposed a $1,000 per day fine while Trump and city argued back and forth.

Finally, when the fine had reached a total of $120,000 Trump proposed a solution. He would donate that amount to veteran's organizations, would move the flag to a different spot in front of the mansion, and would only use a 30-foot flag pole. The city agreed so Trump brought in the company that does his golf course construction, had them build a 20-foot high grassy hill, and put the 30-foot flag pole on top of that.

Now, would you rather have Trump negotiating an Iranian deal or Hillary...

 
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