Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 344

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Some of this is priceless!

Men Stuff

I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like: "I'm tired."

"I'm washing my hair."

"I've got a headache."

"I'm your sister."

A woman in labor is in pain and screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed.

He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass, but N-O-O-O-O, you said that might hurt!"

I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife.

She was delighted.

I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her.

She was ecstatic.

I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough.

But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!

Women, I can't figure them out.

A mother-in-law said to her son's wife when their baby was born, "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son."

The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said, "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a pussy, not a photo-copier."

Dear Dr. Phil:

I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing top-less from my bedroom window.

As I was jerking off, I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded ... watching me.

Is she a pervert or what?

A guy gets a call at work from the police telling him that his house had been robbed.

The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife.

A moment of silence passes, then the guy says, "I can't believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!"

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