Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 340

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Phone rings, woman answers.

The pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"

Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching hockey - who shall I say is calling?"


A Canadian goes into a bar in Louisiana where there is a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?

The guy replies, "Whiskey."

The robot brings back his drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"

The guy say, "168."

The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.

After the guy leaves and the more he thinks about it, he the more curious he gets, so he decides to go back.

The robot asks, "What's your drink?"

The guy answers, "Whiskey."

The robot returns with his drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"

The man replies, "100."

The robot talks about Nascar, Budweiser, the Lions, and LSU.

The man finishes his drink, leaves, but is so interested in his "experiment" that he decides to try again.

He enters the bar and, as usual, the robot asks him what he want to drink.

The man replies, "Whiskey."

The robot brings the drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"

The man answers, "50."

The robot leans in real close and asks,

"So ... are ... you people ... still happy ... with Trudeau?"


The Villages Dating Ads

DatingAds for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper.

You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of

Anyone retiring and moving north.These are actual ads seen in

''TheVillages'' Florida newspaper.

(Who says seniors don't have

A sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY:

Sexy, fashion-conscious voluptuous blue-haired beauty,

80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),

Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.

Matching white shoes and belt a plus.


LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:

Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,

Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,

Fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.


SERENITY NOW:

I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and

Meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.


WINNING SMILE:

Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser

To share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.


BEATLES OR STONES?

I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on

Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.

If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.


MEMORIES:

I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.

If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

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