Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With .25 Caliber Pistol
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship. A woman survived a grizzly bear attack with one well-placed shot from her itsy-bitsy .25 caliber Beretta Jetfire. These are her own words: While out hiking in
Alberta Canada with my boyfriend, we were surprised when a huge grizzly bear came charging at us out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive.
If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire I would not be here today! I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot. It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap and the bear caught him easily. While the grizzly mauled the poor cripple, I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
I love that pistol. I'll find other boyfriends.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred!!!!!!
Children Write about the ocean!!!!
There's a lot going on in the ocean that we didn't know about!
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (, age 7)
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head... (Billy, age 8)
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)