Chapter 270

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday & the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, " Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat & I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine & I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass & figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion & steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn 's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn 's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said;" After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?"

Murphy slowly shook his head.

"No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery '

I remembered where I left me hat."

All of the nine senior members of the Board of Directors of the company were called into the chairman's office one by one until only Bob, the sole junior member, was left sitting outside.

Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the office to find the chairman and the ten other directors seated around the board table. He was invited to join them, which of course he did.

As soon as he sat down, the chairman turned to Bob looking him squarely in the eyes, and with a stern voice, asked, "Have you ever had sex with Mrs. Foyt, my secretary?"

"Oh, no sir, positively not!" Bob replied.

"Are you absolutely sure?" asked the chairman.

"Honest, I've never even been close enough to touch her!"

"You'd swear to that?"

"Yes, I swear I've never had sex with Mrs. Foyt anytime, anywhere."

"Good, then you fire her!"