Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
MARIJUANA AND MARRIAGE
Smile for the day!
For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two laws. They legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned". Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
Toronto Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway...
Linda Plews, 26, a resident of Toronto was visiting her in-laws and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
Her husband called the police and the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.
She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.
Linda is a blonde, a Trudeau supporter and a die-hard Maple
Leafs fan, but that could all be a coincidence...
This one is from Chuck...
A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing.
He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. He sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.
He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently taps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?"
The trooper asks: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat, the trooper asks: "And what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the trooper is totally confused: A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and nothing inappropriate is happening!"
The trooper asks: "What's your age, young man?"