Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 177

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

The Frog and The Golfer

THIS IS HILARIOUS! DO NOT SAVE - PASS ON

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.

He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.

He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,

Ribbit 9 Iron.'

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.

Again, he hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.'

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong; he puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked. He says to the frog,

'Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog.

The frog replies, 'Ribbit Lucky frog.'

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.

'What do you think frog?' The man asks.

'Ribbit 3 wood.' The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one.

The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of

Golf in his life and asks the frog, 'OK where to next?'

The frog replies, 'Ribbit Las Vegas.

' They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, 'OK frog, now What?'

The frog says, 'Ribbit Roulette.'

Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, 'What do you think I should Bet?'

The frog replies, 'Ribbit $3000, black 6.'

Now, this is a Million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.

Boom!

Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the Hotel.

He sits the frog down and Says,

'Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful.'

The frog replies, 'Ribbit Kiss Me.'

He figures why not, Since after all the frog did for Him,

He deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. 'And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room.

So help me God Or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.'

The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings Good luck to everyone who passes it on.


This one is compliments of Chuck...

DAMN FINE EXPLANATION!

A wife came home and found her husband in bed making love to an attractive young woman and she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Go ahead, ' she sobbed, ' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.' The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

 
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