Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 170

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This may have been posted before but is worth a repeat.

Tom and Mick were walking along a street in Toronto.

Mick looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read, "Suits $10 each, Shirts $4 each, Trousers $6.50 per pair."

Mick said to his buddy, "Look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of dose and when we get back to St, John's could make a fortune. Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking cause if they hear our accents, they might think we're thickos from Newfoundland and try to screw us. I'll put on my best accent."

"Right y'are Mick, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will. You do all da business," said Tom.

They go in and Mick said in a posh voice, "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at $10 each, 100 shirts at $4 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at $6.50 each. I'll back up me truck ready to load 'em on, so I will."

The owner of the shop said quietly, "You're from Newfoundland, aren't you?"

"Well yes", said a surprised Mick. "What gave it away?"

The owner replied, "This is a dry-cleaners."


A lawyer calls his largest client to his office for an important meeting. When he arrives, the lawyer says to the wealthy art collector client, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The client grumbles, "I've had an awful day. Tell me the good news."

"Your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures today. She believes they are worth at least $3 million."

"Well done!" the tycoon says with a big smile. "Good news indeed! You've made my day. So what's the bad news?"

"The two pictures are of you with your secretary."


This little ditty if brought to you by DriDoc

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now Mary brings her lamb to school,
between two slices of bread.

To all Canadians, Happy Canada Day!!!

Jack

 
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