Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 160

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

INVITATION

We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can't come let me know.


Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. *This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. You still have sex, occasionally, and if you do, you only have it in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'F****you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife / husband any more. He / she takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Pension Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO TELL ME WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN. I have enough problems of my own!!


Japanese Hotel service

A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan.

Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,"Manicures, $20.00."

"Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

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