Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 158

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Will I Live to see 80?

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past seventy).

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'

'Oh no, ' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'

'I said, 'Not much ... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't, ' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

'No, ' I said...

He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shit?'


To the Horticulturists among you...

A woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll,

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