Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Will I Live to see 80?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past seventy).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no, ' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much ... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't, ' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No, ' I said...
He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shit?'
To the Horticulturists among you...
A woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll,