Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
This one is compliments of Larry Hindsight The pour bugger was very upset!!!!
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispered as she stepped into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looked up from his coffee.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or spend 20 years in jail?'"
"I remember that too," she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know ... I would have gotten out today."
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why are men and parking spaces alike?
Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are disabled.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.