Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I HAVE SEEN...
THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM.
RIDDLE 5 IS AMAZING.
IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN
AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR YEARS.
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
- / -
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
- / -
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
- / -
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
- / -
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about tt, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
That one was easy, right?
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).
3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
5. The letter "e" which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
I'll be getting Alzheimer's any time now.
How did you do?
These are compliments of J. D.
After getting all of Pope Francis' luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 125 mph.
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 125 mph.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there; the mayor?"
Chief: "A senator?"
Chief: "The Prime Minister?"
"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"