Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chicken and The Horse
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly, the horse falls into a mud hole and starts to sink. The horse yells to the chicken to go get the farmer to help pull him to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. Wasting no time, the chicken gets into the farmer's Mercedes and drives it as fast as possible back to the mud hole.
Upon her return, the chicken ties a rope around the bumper and tosses the other end of the rope to the horse. As the horse bites down on the rope and hangs on for dear life, the chicken drives the car forward and saves the horse from sinking.
A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow again. This time, the chicken falls into the mud hole. The chicken yells to the horse to run and get the farmer, or the farmer's Mercedes.
The horse says, "Wait, I think I can stand over the mud hole!" So, he stretches over the width of the hole and says to the chicken, "Reach up and grab my 'thingy' and pull yourself up!!!" And so the chicken did, pulling herself up to safety.
The Moral of the Story?
If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
For those who already have children past this age ... this is hilarious
For those who have children this age ... this is not so funny
For those who have children nearing this age ... this is a warning
For those who have not yet had children ... this is birth control
Things I've learned from my children... (honest and no kidding!)
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.