Cousins by the Dozen
Chapter 2

 

The following Monday morning, mom and dad went with me to my school and asked them for my records to be transferred to Ulysses S Grant Middle School.

USG was an extra mile away, where we all got out and went to the Administrative offices of my potentially new school.

We were all told I needed to pass a battery of tests before they would let me go there. They could wait for me, or I could call them when I finished. They left, and my dad said, “Make me proud of you, Priest.”

They put me in a room by myself and explained how to take tests. These guys had the kinds of tests where you fill in the bubble with a number 2 pencil to answer questions. After being spoken to on the part where I put in my name and fill in those bubbles, the tests began.

Remember how they told you to try to answer every question, even if it was a guess?

I didn’t have to guess. Not even once. I finished; answering every question in what they said was quicker than most other students. Every test had a time limit, and they wouldn’t let me start the next test until all the time had elapsed. That seemed stupid, but I followed their instructions to the letter.

I called Mom, and they both came back and called all of us in to their Principal’s office.

“Mr. and Mrs. Thornberry, I have good news and bad news.” he said.

Those words, that never mean anything good, is about to come out next.

“The good news is that Priest not only passed our entrance exams, but he surpassed them, garnering 100% on all eight subjects. You have a very smart young man. I’ve seen his record from his previous school. He didn’t cheat; that’s simply not possible.”

“The more interesting news is that I would like him to come back tomorrow and take our eighth-grade entrance exams. We should find out just how smart this young man of yours is.”

My dad leaned forward a little and asked, “And what if he ‘surpasses’ your eighth-grade exams?”

“Let’s wait and see if that happens, Mr. Thornberry? We have a nice high school just down the street from us.”

Well, suffice it to say, both Mom and Dad had a spirited discussion during the drive home. It revolved around the fact that, ‘Her little boy’ would be around kids that might treat him poorly, because he’s only thirteen years old.

“Mom, I won’t let that happen. Dad told me once that when you get to a new school, the first thing you do is find the biggest kid you can and slug him and knock him on his butt. Then everybody knows who’s the boss. He said that doing that helped him get enough confidence to walk up to you and ask you out the very first time.”

“You told him that story, Robert Allan Thornberry?”

Oh boy, the middle name too.

“It seemed the best thing to do at the time,” he said glancing back at me.

“Sorry Dad,” I said being quiet for the rest of the ride home.

Mom’s older sister Grace was there waiting for us. She’s prettier than my mom, but I heard my mom also say that she was ‘promiscuous.’ Since I now understand what a lot more words mean with my lightning induced brain, I realized Grace was being called a slut.

The next book I read should be a dictionary, one of those big ones. We had one; it was as big as a Thanksgiving turkey. The minute we got home, I took my stuff up to my room, and then came back down and got a little folding table, the kind you use to eat at the TV, which we sometimes did and picked up the heavy dictionary and put it on it. It was just the right height now, to read, like a book.

Our front door opened and closed, and it was Betty, with two friends, both cousins and very pretty. They all came in the room, with my 2nd cousin Shirley asking me, “What are you doing, Priest?”

Was she flirting?

“I’m reading the dictionary, Cuzz,” I said.

“Why would anybody read the dictionary?” she asked leaning behind me rather closely.

“Well, when I’m all done, I never need to read another book, I’ll know all the words, won’t I, Elizabeth?”

“You are such a geek, sometimes,” she said.


Mom took that moment to walk in saying, “Did you tell your sister the big news, Priest?”

“No, not yet. She’s rather surly to me at the moment,” I said as Shirley sat by me, really close. She started playing with her long black hair.

After Mom had walked back into the kitchen, Shirley said, “Guess what we learned about today in school, Priest?”

“How to be pretty and talk at the same time?”

She ignored me and said, “No silly, it was all about brothers, sisters, cousins and other relatives.”

“Sounds like a progressive school,” I said. “What about them? Anything interesting?”

Feeling her finger on my neck, I asked, “Tell me about it, why don’t you?” I was focusing on the dictionary while talking to her. It was my new version of multi-tasking.

“Well, a first cousin means two people share the same grandparents.”

“Yeah,” I said turning the page.

“Second cousins share great-grandparents, and that’s what we are, isn’t it?”

“That sounds about right, do you have a point to this, Cuzz?”

“Did you know that it is legal to marry a first cousin, in 25 States?”

Oh dear?

“And North Carolina is one of them?” she added with a purr.

 
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