Chapter 2

I set the stuff out on the bench in the boat and set to reading how to filet a fish. I went ahead and lit a fire, then set about cutting the fish up. I'd like to say I was doing a good job, but I managed a hack job. I smiled though, the fatty meat was now laying on foil, I slid the two foil pouches next to the fire and laid in the grass, staring at the sky. After a few minutes, I got up and found a stick to manipulate the fish with. A little while later, I pulled the two pouches from the flames and carefully opened them. The meat looked really good. I sipped the fatty liquid that I was cautioned to not discard and then I ate the fish. It was the best fish I'd ever had. I could feel it re-energizing me. I gorged down all six filets. I then set about boiling water, reasoning that I shouldn't waste coffee. I put a few pinches of rinds into the water and watched it turn a dark color. I pulled the small pot off and let it cool. When I could touch the pot comfortably, I started taking sips. The acrid taste was awful, but it was water that I couldn't readily replace, so I drank it down.

I looked around some more and decided I should keep going down stream. I re-boarded the canoe and scooched back into the river. The current was starting to pick up, I had to actually pay attention. I soon found myself coming into a town. My heart fluttered a little, fear was at the forefront of my mind. I steered the canoe towards the bank with the town on it and I beached the canoe. Then after tossing my stuff on shore, I hopped out and dragged the boat up as best as I could.

The town looked to be a few stores and a stop light, nestled along the river. Under any other circumstance I'd have thought it was pretty, but not today. The sun was half set, and it was about to set below a big hill (or mountain, I couldn't be sure). I started listening intently but all I could hear was the soft breeze whistling through the trees. I started trekking towards the town.

My feet landed on hard pavement. I looked straight through the center of town. It was absolutely vacant. I cautiously approached the buildings. Eerily, a lone traffic like hung flashing red. I got to a small house and noticed the door was missing.

"Hello?" I said into the passageway. After hearing no reply, I cautiously ventured into the structure. The boots going 'clunk' with each step. I walked to the kitchen and tried the water. It was still on. The stove was flashing. I opened the freezer and saw a lot of food, the food in the fridge was spoiled. The cupboards were mostly bare save for more canned vegetables. I walked around the rest of the house, there were clothes strewn about, some looked to be my size even. I picked up a pair of pajama pants and threw them over my shoulder. I found a few t-shirts that would fit me too. I then found a pair of sneakers, they didn't look too used up, but they were huge.

I left the house and continued towards town, passing several houses on the way. There was a storefront with a broken window. I climbed through the window and looked around, the cigarette and alcohol stands were stripped clean. The food aisles were a little less bare, I grabbed some sardines and canned salmon. I wondered why someone would leave these, but I wasn't going to complain. There were also cans of chicken noodle soup. I decided I was going to need a cart, so I left the store and with a little bit of reckless abandon, started going through back yards and looking in sheds. I was searching for a wheel barrow, but then I saw the chrome of a bumper. A small grin spread across my face and I broke the side window and clambered through. I found myself looking at a big blue station wagon, the Ford emblem was stenciled on. A quick inspection revealed it was an automatic. I used all my strength to push the heavy wood door up its tracks. Then I sat in the driver's seat and turned the key. Nothing.

I sighed, I fought to remember what dad had said on those cold winter mornings. "Air, fuel, spark" was all I could remember. I fished around for the hood release and it popped with a thunk. I managed to get the hood up and everything looked to be in order. I glanced around and saw a jump box, still plugged into the wall.

"Black to black, red to red" I said to myself. Then I went back and tried again. "Vroom!" the car roared to life. I watched the fuel gauge settle on "F."

"Oh my god!" I screamed "Thank you!!!!!!" I screamed next, then I checked myself, realizing I was making a scene. I pulled the car out to the driveway and then onto the road. The steering was impossibly heavy, as were the brakes. I idled the car down to the store and started dumping all the stuff I could find into the cavernous rear of the car. Literally, anything of use was put into the car. Food, expired soda, toothpaste, hygiene stuff, anything I could get my hands on.

I was going back through the store again when I saw a small rectangular shape plugged into the wall. I knew it was a cell phone. I pressed the buttons, and the screen came to life. "09/1/2014 05:32pm"

I dropped the phone onto the floor and took two steps back. My back hit the wall and I collapsed onto the floor. "Crap" I whispered to myself. I used my foot to drag the phone over and I unlocked it, there was no password. I looked again at the numbers. It was now 05:35pm ... I dialed 411, and hit send. The line rung twice before an automated voice answered. I hung up. "Oh no" I said quietly. "Oh no!" I could feel myself having a breakdown. "Oh God no!" I pulled myself up using the counter and staggered out of the store. On my way out, I noticed a piece of mail on the floor. I was somewhere in Washington State. Thousands of miles from home. The feeling of loneliness was greatly magnified by this. I hobbled back to the car and clunked it down into drive. I turned the wheel and did a prolonged turning maneuver and headed out of town towards the south. Oh what a journey I'd have to look forward to.

The Farmers

I followed the road south of town, desperately searching for an east-west expressway. I was curious why there weren't more people around. I hadn't seen a soul since I had left the little town. I resorted to fiddling with the car radio trying to find out what was going on in the world. I found several stations, but none seemed to be talking about news. The best I could find had a lady talking about production figures compared with other nations. My mind flashed back to the factory, all those parts. I still had no idea what they were used for, and the more I thought about it, the more useless they seemed. It hadn't donned on me until recently that we may have just been doing busy work. The factory had been retooled many times, we were forced to learn new tasks in the period of only an hour.

I got into the mountains and began to realize that the day was going to end before I got anywhere that I might be able to get help. I slowed the car down and pulled into what seemed to be a convenience store, but the storefront was broken out. Cautiously, I got out and surveyed the area. I couldn't hear anyone, so that was a plus for me. I locked the car and made my way to the store, I peeked in through the broken door and saw a mess. It registered in my mind that finding a lot of messes was going to commonplace. I pushed my way in, and set to looking about. A stack of shopping baskets was to my right. I leaned over and picked one up, then I started stepping around various items as I looked for something of use.

Down each aisle I went, I got all the food I could carry in one trip and then dumped it in the car. The food here was more soup, but I found a real can opener, so I wasn't going to complain. More canned SPAM would accompany the soup. It crossed my mind several times that the soup was an uncomfortable irony that I should have survived on stew, and now on soup. The idea of this dark humor actually bolstered my mood, sarcasm was something I used to be really good at.

I grabbed a couple more baskets of food and a bunch of razors. I had long given up on trying to be feminine while I was a captive, but now that my freedom was re-established, it was gnawing at me to at least try to be presentable should I meet anyone who might want to help me. I also found shampoo and conditioner, two items I wanted more than anything to use. I smiled gaily as I walked the last basket out to the car. The back of the car was getting quite full of food, and then I realized I should try to find more water. I went back in the store and turned the faucet on. In my delight, water came out. I let the water run while I went to get my three extra compressed milk jugs. I pressed my lips around their mouths and blew as hard as I could. They each popped back into their form and I filled them up with water. Once they had finished, I opened toothbrush and toothpaste. I thought it amazing I still had a full set of teeth, but they were badly stained from the brown stew. I scrubbed my teeth for a long time, reloading the toothbrush twice.

Eventually, with four gallons of water, and a real can opener, and fresh breath, I set back out on the road. The unsecured cans of food rattled around with each bump. I smiled into the mirror and then realized my teeth were still ugly looking. I frowned and pressed on.

"I will need to carry gas too!" I told myself. I hadn't even thought about carrying gasoline. The needle hadn't moved under the ¾ mark yet, but I figured it would be good to not press my luck since the car was my home now.

I drove through what seemed like a pass and in the future I could see a couple cars parked next to the road. The way they were parked forced me to slow down. A worrying sensation crept into my tummy. I navigated the car through the two cars parked oddly on the road and studied the area as I went. I didn't stop, and even I sped up. I watched the mirror for any sign of trouble. Ahead of me, I saw something get onto the road. I involuntarily slowed down. A person was standing there waving their arms around. I made sure the doors were locked as I rolled to a stop.

The person was a man, he didn't look to be in trouble. I cracked the window a little.

"Hey son, can you give me a ride?" he asked I noticed I probably didn't look very feminine based on how I was dressed. I shook my head no.

"Aww come on sonny, you got plenty of room."

I again shook my head "no" and put the car back in drive. I saw him reached for something and I gunned it. The motor roared and the car lurched, in the rear view mirror I saw him twist and bring something up. My brain screamed "GUN!" and I heard POP! POP! POP! Thankfully, none of the bullets hit me or the car. Spurred on now by an adrenaline surge I hadn't felt in years, I kept the speed up and used my body weight to muscle the car through several turns. I hadn't considered that I might be followed yet, but I figured getting away was of more pressing a concern. I eventually slowed down, hoping to conserve fuel. My breathing was labored, panic really took its toll on me, I felt myself getting weak. I needed food. I fished around behind me and found a can of soup. Using my knees to negotiate the straight section of road, I used the can opener to quickly open the can. I drank it down happily as I drove on, the pasta was especially delicious and my body again thanked me for something tangible.

I caught sight of another group of cars in the road. I didn't think there was any way I could avoid it as there was nowhere to turn around. I sighed and finished my soup. Then I drove up to the cars in the road. I looked around nervously as a group of people took notice of me. One of them broke off and came to my window. He knocked and straightened. I slowly lowered the window.

"What's your business here?" he asked I simply shrugged.

"Are ya lost?" he asked, I nodded.

"Where ya tryin to go?" I simply pointed to the east, which happened to be through whatever settlement this was.

"Can't let ya through son, sorry. What's your name?" I stared fixedly at the man. He studied me more closely. "Sorry ma'am, what can I do for ya?"

"I need help" I said softly. "I'm trying to get home but I don't know where I am or where I'm going" I didn't try to hide the frustration.

"Well, you're in Idaho ... if that helps..." He offered I shrugged. "You wanna come in for a meal? You look like you could use a hot shower too."

I looked up again, a hot shower sounded like a good thing. "I have nothing to offer" I cautioned.

"We don't get many passers through here, come talk and that'll be payment enough." He said. "You afraid of critters?" I shrugged. "Our hay loft is empty, save for thirty or so bales, you can stay a night or two and use the house shower if ya like."

"Who do you live with?" I asked

"Ah, forgot to mention that now." He laughed softly. "My wife, and four children."

"Boys..." I stammered

"Half are, yea ... that a problem?" He asked

"No" I replied.

"Let me in and I'll guide ya to our farm." He said, moving to the passenger side. I sighed and reached over and pulled the lock up. The door opened and his tall frame took the seat next to me.

"Nice ride I have a 68 Camaro ... are you a car person?" he asked. I shook my head 'no'.

"Thought I'd ask ... it's this way." He pointed and I drove.

He directed me to a modest looking two story house, and then we drove past it a good half mile. A large barn was there, bright red, with white fascia on the doors.

"Just pull inside, there's plenty of room." He directed. I pulled the rumbling car into the cavernous space and parked next to a tractor, then shut the car off. "Do you have any weapons?" the guy asked. I shrugged "just a knife" I replied.

"Okay" He said, then got out. "Why don't you venture up to the house once you get settled in."

"Thanks" I said

"Stairs are over there" he pointed at a nice staircase and then mounted a piece of farm equipment and drove out of the barn. I slowly got out of the car and took in my surroundings. The barn stored several tractors and farm equipment. The names of which escaped me. I opened the back of the car and pulled out my blankets and started up the stairs. It was a tremendous effort, for a moment I was terrified of whether or not I'd be able to trek to the house, but then the elation which I expected from a hot shower gave me a new life.

The loft was a good sized one. It had one of those loft doors that overlooked the field, I could see the house pretty good from it also. I pulled the door overlooking the field shut and then pushed it open, it swung freely and was my main light source, I made a mental note to find a lantern. Then I went over to the big stack of hay bales, and pushed a few off the back, clambered up and made a suitable bed on top of a couple broken bales. The blankets looked so inviting, I decided to test their comfort.

I woke up what seemed like a few minutes later, but the sky was turning color. "****" I cursed inwardly as I pulled myself up. I made my way down stairs and decided that walking across the field wasn't going to happen. I shamelessly drove to the house and parked at the edge of the lawn.

I approached the door and was about to knock when a voice prompted to me just enter. Shrugging, I made my way through the door. I felt a sensation and realized I was embarrassed. The two boys were sitting in the sitting room, obviously playing a video game, but they had stopped and were just staring at me. Suddenly self-conscious, I made my way to the kitchen, and was shown to an empty chair.

I plopped down without much grace. The farmer was sitting to my right, he was writing in a journal of some sort. I smiled as his wife set a plate of something before me.

"What is it?" I asked

"It's an omelet, hun." She replied

I felt my face flush with embarrassment and then with disgust and self-pity.

"It's alright hun, eat up." I watched her walk over and pull something out of a box, then she smeared something on it. I recognized the scent. It was certainly toast. I salivated, I had to swallow often to keep from foaming at the mouth at the sight of real food. I plunged the fork into the fluffy egg exterior and took a bite. It was delicious! I eagerly took several more bites, and then paused to have buttered toast. The taste of the butter instantly flashed me back to breakfast with my own parents. I paused and looked around. It was like I was seeing my own house, with my own mom and dad. The vision evaporated as suddenly as it had come to me and I realized I was wolfing down food. I slowed down.

A moment later, I had finished my food. I used a napkin to clumsily wipe my face off.

"Do you want some different clothes?" the lady inquired

I considered what I was wearing and nodded. She disappeared.

"So what's your story?"

"Courtney" I said in the space. "My name is Courtney." I said the later for my memory.

"Where are you from?"

"Virginia" I replied

"What of your parents?"

"I honestly don't know!" I said, my voice grew a little horse.

"Don't cry, it's okay" The man said. "My name's Darren, my family has owned this farm longer than Idaho has been a state in the union. Martha there, does genealogy and she found that our namesake goes back to the western expansion days. What'll ya think about that?"

"Wow" I said, relieved for a change of subject. "That's a lot of history" I managed, the words sounded foreign.

"So how did you come to be out here?" He inquired

"Well I was working at some sort of factory."

"Ah, heard stories..."

"What kind of stories?" I asked, the lady â€" Martha set clothes on the chair beside me. I squeezed her hand in a manner I hoped would be interpreted as thanks.

"Well, they say those buildings are sweat shops. Given by your looks, I'd say they aren't too far off."

I swallowed as his words sank in. I suddenly felt terribly self-conscious.

"Oh I've upset you, I'm sorry."

"It's not you..."

"Why don't you go take a shower and come back down. We've got to get the nightly chores done. Take your time, there's plenty of hot water. Lord, Cindy and Heather couldn't drain that hot water tank on prom night, I doubt you'll make a dent."

I smiled awkwardly and grabbed the clothes. They were fashionable, or would have been a few years ago. As I walked, I thought inwardly about who these people were. I had originally made some awkward connection that they wore jeans and dresses and nothing else. But, the two boys were lounging in athletic apparel, and I was carrying decent clothes. I hoped they'd fit me.

I hit the landing and looked around, a bathroom door was open, so I stuck my head in. It had the air of strawberry melon body wash. I assumed I was in the right place. I set the clothes down and then descended the stairs and went to the car and fetched my toiletries. I'd finally have a chance to use them, so I didn't want to waste the opportunity.

Once I was safely back in the bathroom, door locked. I twisted the handles and let the water flow for a minute. Then I hesitantly undid the makeshift belt, and pulled the shirt off. There I was, I thought. I undid my hair and tried to make it bounce. It just fell lifeless against my back. I sighed and turned, examining my rib cage, I couldn't help but to poke at the spaces between my ribs. I flexed my arm out of spite, and was a little surprised to see toned muscles there. My calves were pretty nice too. All that standing and walking I suppose. I then realized I was completely unpresentable. I grabbed like three of the five razor blades I had brought up and got into the steaming shower. The water hit my back gently but firmly, like twenty six gentle fingers applying firm pressure across your upper back. I fell into a meditative trance and just stood there, eyes closed, breathing in the steam and letting my concerns wash down the drain.

"It's okay" I whispered to myself. "You're not going back"

I stepped out of the stream and lathered up. The loofah felt course against my skin, but I scrubbed relentlessly, like I was trying to wash away the past three years. I washed three or four times and shaved just as many, a return to feminity was what I most desired that moment. I eventually completed all the tasks I had wanted and I shut the water off, a chill washed up my spine. It made me giggle, the cold feeling you always get when the hot water goes away. I toweled mostly off and pulled on the halter top I was allotted. Then I put my hair up and pulled on a pair of under garments I'd taken from the small store, and I found the jeans I was allotted. I pulled them on too. They were a little loose, but they fit my hips well enough. I twisted in the mirror, then got curious and pulled my shirt up and sucked my tummy in. But, I quickly let it back out as I felt quite gross being that skinny.

I pulled the door open and was greeted with a very sweet scent. I couldn't put my finger on it as I gingerly walked down the stairs.

"Ah you're out of there. Were you trying to drain the water?"

"No" I said shyly, "It was just a long time since I had a private shower and I didn't want to waste the opportunity to enjoy it." I added, my face was bright red.

"What's that tattoo?" Darren asked.

"Oh..." I sighed. "It's well, it's my name I guess" I replied

"Your name?"

"In there" I said, nodding to an imaginary point.

"Ah" He replied

"You want something more to eat? You looked pretty ravenous."

"I'd be lying if I said no, but I don't want to be a burden."

"Nonsense, sit..." Martha said, ushering me over.

I complied and was given more buttered toast. I felt extremely content. I started feeling sleepy after I looked outside and noticed the sun was almost fully set. I talked with the two adults for a while, we talked about what I could recall about my life before I was taken away. They told me that the world was much different than it was earlier.

"Really?" I exclaimed

"Yes, the government basically micromanages nowadays." They said

"How?" I asked

"They issue non-farmers ration cards, and if you lose yours, you starve until they can re-allocate you a new one."

"That's..." I stammered

"You'll want to avoid cities when you travel." I was told.

I sat quietly for a few minutes while they talked to each other.

"Mommy!" a female voice called out. Martha got up and left the room.

"Well, you look exhausted" Darren said after a pause, why don't you go get some shut eye and join us for breakfast. If you'd like, we might be able to find some work for you so that you can regain some strength. Can't imagine you've had a safe place to sleep in a while."

"I'd appreciate that" I said quietly.

"Alright, well, door's open." He said as I stood. I turned and walked past the entrance to the sitting room, the daughters were there now, I sighed as I realized they were older than me. I wanted someone to talk to so badly. I pushed the door open and made my way to the car and then back across the field. I pulled myself up the stairs and all but collapsed into my makeshift bed. It was so warm, and just firm enough to remind me of the concrete floor while being soft enough to let me curl up comfortably.

I woke up some time later, there was harsh sunlight pouring through the space between the hay loft's door and its frame. I blinked a few times and slowly stood up. My muscles protested for a second before complying with my wishes. I stretched and realized I could still touch my toes. It felt so good to stretch and move around, I felt elated. I staggered over and pushed the door open a bit, a gush of cool air poured in, out of habit, I hugged my arms across my chest and then pulled the big flannel shirt on over the halter top I was still wearing.

I decided I'd walk the distance this morning, so I got out and started the long trek. It went more quickly than I thought it would. As promised, the door was open and I went and sat at the table. To my left, the two women sat, eyeing me curiously between bites. I had a plate of eggs, bacon, and potatoes set before me. I tried to slowly munch, but I knew I looked like I was still starving as I attacked the plate. The bacon was ... gosh how could I even find words? Heavenly?

After breakfast, one of the two daughters pulled me aside, she looked me over and dragged me to her room.

"Here" she finally said. "These are my old clothes, they should fit you, take whatever strikes your fancy, you look like ****in that shirt"

I flushed a little and opened the boxes one by one, sorting through. She had a nice wool sweater, I grabbed it immediately, next were warm looking sweat pants, and then some normal clothes. I had a big bundle when I was done.

I walked out to where she was sitting and thanked her. She waved absently over her shoulder and I made my way back up the two track, taking the long walk and enjoying it. The bundle of clothes was getting really heavy by the time I reached the car. My arms were on fire, but I plopped the bundle down on the hood and then opened the trunk and set them in the space. I pulled the plaid shirt off and chose a black hoodie that was in the bundle and pulled it on. I looked at myself in the reflection of the glass, I thought I almost looked normal. After a few tosses of my hair, and then deciding to braid loose pig tails, I found myself looking pretty awesome.

I walked merrily back up to the house to see if there was anything I could do. I found Darren working out in the yard, he was building shutters when I strolled up.

"I was wondering if there's anything around here I can do?"

"You want a job? You're not getting too comfortable are you?" He looked up.

"I'd like to give back" I replied shyly.

"Ah, well, you can paint those" he pointed towards a stack of shutters.

"Okay" I replied and set about making ready to paint. I had a sudden idea and looked around, a tree with long branches looked suitable.

"Do you have any string?" I asked

"Sure ... there's twine in the storeroom, second door"

I went in and found the twine and a pair of scissors, then I tossed the roll of twine over the tree branch, and tied off several lengths. Once I had a number of empty dangling lines of string, I tied each of the shutters to the string.

"What's this?" Darren asking, coming up behind me.

"I thought if I hung them, they'd dry better."

"Hmm, good idea." He said, then walked away.

I smirked, feeling a little proud of myself and I set to work painting. They gave me black paint. I worked steadily, and succeeded in getting all the paint on the shutters, and none on my clothes. The sun was past the 45 degree mark when I was finished. I had forgotten to eat lunch, but I was so focused on getting everything perfect. I sat down in the grass, beneath the hung array of shutters, they were swaying in the wind. I laid beneath them, and stared up as they wafted back and forth above me.

I heard footsteps in the grass and saw Darren coming over and carrying a box of something. I rolled out and accepted the box. "Hardware and tools" is all he said, then he departed. I looked at the items for a moment and figured that I was to put hinges and latches on the shutters.

Using a tape measure, as I'd done in one of the tooling projects, I aligned the hardware to each place, then I used a screw to mark the locations. Once that was done, I went back through and pushed and twisted the screws into the wood, securing the hardware in place. The sun was setting when I finished. But I was darn proud of what I had done. I decided to go see if I could get some food for my efforts, my stomach was making all sorts of noise about being empty.

Back inside I went, greeted this time by the smell of pie. Apple pie. I was served pork chops, two of them with corn. I ate them down dutifully and then felt quite happy. Then I had a slice of pie sat down. I sort of looked at it before I gently took a bite, testing it. Embarrassingly, I made several faces, the first because it was quite hot, the second because it was very good, and the third because I wanted more.

After dinner, I went and sat with the boys in the sitting room. They were playing some sort of shooting game, they practically ignored me for a few matches, and I felt quite out of place, so I left. I sighed and strolled around the house, looking for someone to talk to, but everyone was busy, so I walked back to the barn.

As I pushed the door open to enter the barn, I had an idea. I should try to use the cellular phone that I found to call home. I went to the car, turned it on, and dialed my parent's number, or the last number I remember it being. I hit "Call"

Ringggggg

"Hello this is the Federal Communications Network, then number that you have dialed is not in service at this time, please try your call again later."

I hit the "End" button and sighed. A little voice in my head chided me. "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" It asked me rhetorically. I looked at the screen, the hour was getting late. I shut the phone back off and tossed it into the car, then I pulled myself back upstairs, I'd have to leave the next day.

I pushed my shoes off and curled up in my blankets. My eyes closed eagerly and I was sleeping softly. I was in the middle of a dream about the factory when I heard a noise that was very unfactory like.