Chapter 13

Saturday morning arrives. No, not quite morning, I check my watch. 3 A.M. and I fell asleep on the couch downstairs. Oh well. I get up off the couch and head upstairs after shutting things off here. Caesar is right with me and when I arrive at my bedroom. Potty break, strip off what I was wearing and climb in bed.

'Did they really only offer 100 grand for our lives?' My wife's voice comes to me in my mind. I can hear her even though she is not there. I can still hear her asking me such a question.

'Ya they did. I rejected it. It was insulting' I answer her to myself.

'How much are we worth to you?'

'Everything. There is no price I can place on what I lost. Not by a long shot.'

'Don't get greedy, you don't need the money to find your new wife, you just need an open mind and heart. I love you.'

My tears are wetting my pillow as I have a conversation with my wife in my mind. She is not really there, but I got so used to hearing her talk to me and question me about everything that it just comes naturally. I finally drift off to sleep for a few more hours until the sun makes its rise into the sky.

There is a sun beam that manages to sneak through the curtains and light up my room in the morning. It doesn't hit me in the face, but it does brighten up the room so much that I can see it through my closed eyes. "Is it morning already Caesar?" I say out loud to my dog who is lying on Samantha's side of the bed. He moves and starts to pant in my face. Morning-Dog-Breath! Ug, this is not a good way to start off the day.

"Come on you old dog, time to go outside." I trudge down the hall with my best pal right behind me and let him out. I head for a bathroom as well.

I try to get dressed but when I open the dresser, I am at the bottom of the stack of clean undershorts. I need to get some laundry done. Today even.

My day proceed normally as I eat a bowl of cereal, feed the dog and drag my laundry hamper to get it separated. Excitement gets started when I try to actually wash my laundry, the washer is dead. I mean dead to point that nothing happens when I turn the knob and press start. DEAD.

"Great!" I shout to no one. "What else?" I really shouldn't have said anything, I really should know better. But I did and at that moment water started squirting out of the bottom of the water heater sitting right next to me. Crap!

I run over to the main water shut off valve for the house and turn it quickly to stem the flow of water quickly making a mess in my laundry room. Ok, water stopped, now to get someone over here to get this old beast replaced. Luckily I had a business card on the furnace from the last time I had someone out. I dialed the number and spoke with a very nice lady who was so very sorry for the tragedy and who assured me that someone would be out in about two hours with a new water heater.

I thanked her and asked that they send out a good one, not the cheap crap that had just died on me.

Sure thing, they are on their way.

Ok, one phone call down, one to go. I dialed a number from memory, my sister. She works as a dealer in an appliance sales company close by. I know that she can get me a good deal on a washer/dryer combo since one is dead and the other is on its last legs.

"Hello, Major Appliance Company, Lisa speaking."

"Hey sis, Paul here. How are you doing?"

"Paul!" she exclaimed through the phone. "I am so glad to hear from you. How are you doing?"

"It's ok Lisa. I do need something from you though. Do you have time to help your brother out?"

"Oh of course I do. For you, anything. What can I do for you?"

"Well my washing machine just died. I mean, it just died. I need a replacement and I need a replacement right away. I am wearing my last clean pair of shorts. It's kind of an emergency."

She laughed. "Oh don't worry big brother, I'll find something for you." She starts to mumble to herself as I hear her finger her keyboard doing some searching. "Ok, here is what I have. I have an LG in stock that I can bring over to you today. It also has a matching dryer, but I can't get that to you until Tuesday. Or I can get you a nice Maytag or Whirlpool to you today. Both have a matching set and all of them can be delivered today. Which one can I get for you?"

"I don't know these things. Which one has the most features?"

"Well, considering how little laundry you do it doesn't really matter. I'll save you a few dollars and the Whirlpool for you. It should be over before dinner. Should I put it on that card I have on record?"

"Yes please."

"Ok, charges complete. I have the delivery scheduled for four today. Remember that we do offer the free haul away of your old equipment so don't worry about anything. Our guys will make sure that everything is hooked up so you have nothing to worry about.

"Nothing? Well you don't know about the water heater that exploded on me just a minute ago. So, I have plenty to worry about. Though they are going to be out little earlier than you so hopefully we won't have a bunch of people in my laundry room together."

"All right then. I'll make sure everything is taken care of. Love you. Don't forget to call me again so that we can have dinner some time."

"Ok, love you too. Bye."

It is good to talk to my sister. She may be younger than me, and we may have fought like cats and dogs when we were growing up, but she is wonderful and I love her dearly.

Ok, now what?

Now what was me cleaning up the laundry room since water had covered a good portion of the floor and had gotten a lot of things on the floor wet. Luckily I have a wet/dry shop vacuum so I immediately got it out of the garage and got it running full blast to help get as much of the water sucked up as I could. You would not believe how much water there is if it is spread out over a large flat surface. My 15 gallon vacuum filled up quickly and I had to roll it outside to dump and then back in. My garage door was open to make it easier to move in and out. I managed to not destroy anything valuable but several containers of aluminum foil and plastic wrap got wet and a few reusable cloth bags were wet, but everything else was up off the floor so I made out alright.

"Hello! Anyone home?" A voice called to me from just outside of my garage. I looked out into the garage and saw a man with a work shirt on and a large truck in my driveway emblazoned with the logo of the plumber I had called. How time flies when you are cleaning out your laundry room.

"Good afternoon." I went into the garage and shook hands with the man. His shirt said his name was Tom. Clean cut gentleman of about 30-something. Firm handshake. Smelled of smoke.

"I am so glad that you are here, I just got done with most of the cleanup of the water that managed to get out of the heater before I could shut the water off and the rest of the water has only been leaking out and not making a mess." I walked him into the laundry room and showed Tom around. "This is the monster that has caused me so much trouble. I hope that you brought a replacement with you."

"Oh yes, we have a new gas unit in the truck ready and waiting for you." Tom looked around at the pipes and the arrangement of the area. "I'm going to go and get the new unit out of my truck and pulled into the garage here it looks like the best place to work and I'll be right back."

Tom walked out into the garage and then to his truck and started getting tools out, boxes of fittings and stuff that I could not identify. I turned around and started cleaning up the mess I made of things so that I was out of his way as he worked.

Minutes pass by and after I had rolled my vacuum back into the garage and thrown away the things that got wet, Tom had gotten my new water heater out of his truck and gotten it moved into the garage where he was prepping it.

"Anything else you are going to need from me?" I asked him while I watched him work.

"Not at the moment Mr. Johnson. Thank you."

"Ok then. I am going to head upstairs and change my clothes. How long do you think you are going to be here?"

He thought for a minute and said "about an hour and most of that time is just draining the water heater so that I can move it. I don't think I'll be here very long."

"Well if you were going to be here for a long time I was going to offer you pizza since looking at the clock we are getting close to lunch."

"Oh no Mr. Johnson, there is no need to order lunch for me. I have a lunch packed away in the truck and more calls to get to after I get done here. No, no, I'll be long gone before I need to eat lunch."

"Very good then. I didn't want to offend if I ordered pizza and didn't offer you anything. My momma always said to be polite to those who visit your home."

He chuckled and thanked me again then went back to work. I went upstairs and changed my clothes and then made a phone call to my favorite pizza store to have them deliver pizza and several two liters of soda-pop.

I didn't go back downstairs, no need to hover over the man; I just went into the kitchen to make sure that the dishwasher was empty of clean stuff and get some paper plates out for lunch.

Caesar was outside at the time, but when the doorbell rang he still started barking. Pizza was here.

I paid the man, gave him a tip and took the pizza box and the drinks into the kitchen for distribution.

I suddenly had a thought, Tessa loves pizza and I don't think I'll eat all of this. I should invite her over.

text Tessa, come over I have pizza

text Cool. But I'm all crampy.

text come anyway. I have chocolate too

text be right over

text come dressed, I have people here working

text yes of course

Now to find the chocolate. Having a woman in the midst of cramps without chocolate is not a good thing to have around. Oh yes, the bag of chocolate chips in the fridge and M&M's. This should do it.

"Where is the chocolate mister? Hand it over and no one gets hurt!" A gruff female voice comes up behind me and pokes me in the back.

Playing along I throw my hands up. "Please don't shoot me. The chocolate is over there on the counter by the pizza box. Oh Please don't hurt me."

I watch Tessa dumping a handful of M&M's into her hand and snarfing them down ... by the handful.

I put my hands down and step to her with my arms out imitating a child wanting a hug and offer one to her. With a mouthful of the 'crampy woman antidote', she steps into my arms and hugs me back. Yup, I learned a thing or three while I was married.

"Feel better now?"

"Yes. Thank you. Mom doesn't have any chocolate in the house since she and Jenna finished it all two days ago, so I needed this. Thank you."

"How about a slice of pizza and some Pepsi to wash it down?"

"That sounds good."

I serve up a slice of pizza onto a paper plate and hand that to her. She takes a bite and I can tell she loves it, her shoulders soften and she makes that special noise people make when something touches their pallet this good. "Oh ya. I needed this too."