Chapter 3

Okay recap time. First, my mom divorced her husband and moved me out to a small town in Idaho. Second I met a boy, and we started dating. Third that boy needed to do a painting of someone important to him doing something that person enjoyed. Fourth I found a copy of that painting he made of me but in this copy, I was nude. I confronted him with that painting. So at that moment my boyfriend was nervous and depending on his answer he may soon be my ex.

I could see Paul was shocked and a little worried, but it didn't take him long to answer, "It's not what it seems. I'm so sorry but I had this image in my mind, and I just couldn't get it out of there. I thought that if I painted it or did something that it would go away. I honestly meant no harm in any way with this. I, especially never wanted to hurt you." Paul said.

"So you figured you would make a painting of me in the nude to get it out of your head and then keep said painting around so you could enjoy it by beating off to it. So what's the point? Why?" I blurted out.

"I wasn't planning on keeping it. I just needed to get that image out of my system," said Paul with desperation in his voice.

"Oh so you were going to sell it or give it away? So my nude body was going to be out there in the world. Nice. Real nice." I said as I was getting ready to leave.

"NO! That's not it either. I was going to destroy it." Paul said in a tone that was almost shouting.

"Why would you do something like that? Was it some kind of perverted way of thinking?" I asked.

"No. I was going to destroy it because for the first time in my life, I felt guilty about my paintings and picturing someone nude. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. I ... I didn't think I ... I came to realize that you would be mad that I had made something like this, and I couldn't do that to the woman I loved." Paul had started out worried with a pinch of anger and ended as if he were truly ashamed of what he had done.

I just stood there unable to say anything. I looked into his eyes and I could tell he was telling the truth. Slowly, I walked over to the window that was next to the bed. Paul let me think for a few minutes. I thought about my past, what I had been through with my ex-stepfather, and I also thought of all the things I had done with Paul, and my feelings for him. I took another look at the nude painting of me, and then I thought about the painting of me in my swim suit.

I felt Paul's hand on my shoulder. All he said was, "I'm so sorry."

I looked out the window and said, "It's a good thing you are because it's not accurate you know."

"What's not accurate, my feelings, or the apology?" Paul asked.

I turned to him and said, "The painting. My body doesn't look like this."

Cautiously Paul said, "I wouldn't know. I've never seen you nude. But I'll take your word for that."

"So, you're not going to ask what my body looks like? Are you even curious about what I look like? Or did making this painting kill any desire to know about that?" I asked. I had no idea why I had asked.

Paul's head went down, and he said as he was looking at the floor, "I thought I would play things safe and not ask that question."

Sounding a little irritated I asked, "You didn't answer my question. Should I rephrase it? Do you want to see me naked? I could be willing to model so you could make an accurate painting."

He quickly looked up, and I rushed into his body kissing him. I pushed him onto his bed. I got on the bed next to him and put my hands on his chest. I said the only thing I could think of at that moment, "I love you too."

I then started to take off his shirt. He stopped me, and I allowed him to take off my shirt. It was his after all. I had borrowed it one day after a car drove past a pile of mud, and it splashed all over me. Luckily, Paul carries spares with him.

I was down to my bra and panties when Paul took off his shirt. He was in the process of taking off his pants when I stopped him.

"Wait. Before we go any further there is something I need to tell you." I hesitated.

"There's no need to do or say anything you don't want to. You know that don't you. I would do anything for you. I would wait as long as you need," said Paul in a beautifully reassuring voice. Of course, those eyes helped too.

"I really want to do this with you Paul. I wanted to since I looked into your eyes after I bumped into you that first day we met. However, I need to tell you this. It's really important. You know how you told me how you're not a virgin. Well, that makes two of us."

His eyes went wide for a brief moment then he cleared his throat and said, "Wow. I never would have guessed. Hope you don't mind me asking, but how many have you had? Or at least when?"

It was my turn to feel ashamed as I said, "Just two other lovers. The first was when I was close to being 14 and a half. It wasn't my idea. He ... It was my step father. We had all been happy together for a long time but after my half sister went off to live at some fancy school, he started to look at me differently. My Mom was away for a few days on a business trip. And one night he ... One time he was on the verge of climaxing when my mom walked in."