Chapter 16: An Acceptance of Comfort

It was dark, so dark and quiet. Why was it so cold? Riki shivered and tried to pull his jacket closer around himself as he focused on putting one foot in front of the other on the desolate highway. He had to keep going, he had to get away and claim his freedom; if he could just keep walking.

He glanced back, as he had every few minutes since he had started the journey, expecting to see someone coming up behind him to drag him back. There was no one behind him, and no one ahead, but he couldn’t get rid of this horrible paranoia; this awful feeling of dread.

When he finally spotted the outline of a city in the distance, instead of relief he felt only trepidation. Was that Ceres? Yes, it had to be, that’s where he had been going right? He was always trying to get back to Ceres, but why? What was there for him anymore? His gang was disbanded, Guy. Where was Guy? Something had happened but he couldn’t remember what it was.

Well, there was no other choice was there? He was free now, and freedom meant that he was no longer under Iason Mink’s thumb. Free from the monster’s control, from the constant degradation and humiliation.

He shivered again, and then couldn’t seem to stop. What he wouldn’t give for a warm bath right about now; maybe even some of that nice selling stuff that Cal ... He paused at the thought, shook it away and quickened his pace. He was never cold in Eos, unless he stayed too long on the balcony, and then Iason would come out and wrap his arms around him and he would be immediately warm again. He didn’t understand how an android could always generate so much heat

“Stop it!” he growled at himself, unnerved when his voice echoed in the emptiness around him. Iason was part of his past. He was free now; he had made his choice and he would stand by it.

The city ahead became more defined and his tired legs gained renewed strength. Yes! Even in Ceres he could get out of this cold, maybe get something to eat. He could start his life over again and forget all about Iason Mink and...

Riki.

He stumbled at the sound of his name, looked around, but he was alone. He straightened and continued as a cold wind rushed past him, and with it the distinct smell of burning.

Riki.

Shivering he looked back over his shoulder and saw the glow on the horizon. What ... what was that? The sun didn’t come up on that side, so what was it? The sky overhead grew brighter and there was a terrible rumble that carried across the air.

Riki.

“Iason!” he cried as his feet started moving of their own volition towards the glow. “Iason!”

You are my pet.

Riki lurched to a halt and turned to look back at the city, which now seemed farther away than it had. The scent of fire filled his nostrils, the glow before him grew stronger and the crackle of flames echoed.

No! He was free! His feet started to move backwards. He wouldn’t go back. He owed Iason Mink nothing. He was free!

You belong to me.

Damn it! Damn it! Riki turned around and started to run again, this time towards Ceres. He had to get away. He belonged to no one, no one! A figure appeared before him on the road.

“Riki!”

“Guy! Guy!” Riki started to run faster, and then suddenly stopped as he saw the laser scalpel in his friend’s hand.

Don’t be his, Riki! You don’t have to be mine, but don’t be his!

Riki fell backwards, scraping his hands as they slapped hard against the pavement. “No!”

Guy held out his hand. “Riki! Come to me! I won’t let him take you!”

Riki looked back, saw the burning ruins of Dana Bahn and Iason Mink sitting amongst the flames, his legs severed, his expression one of peaceful acceptance.

Riki.

Riki looked from Guy to Iason and back again. Freedom or death, but with Guy would he ever really be free? Guy was as obsessed with him as Iason was. Why? Why did they care so much about him? He didn’t understand it.

You must choose, Riki.

“Riki!” Guy cried. “Let me love you! You know we can be happy, like we were before!”

Riki stared at his former pairing partner, the only true friend he had ever had, the boy he had rescued so many years ago. He was the only family Riki had ever known, but love? Riki wasn’t capable of that kind of feeling. He left Guy behind because he was selfish and proud. Because he wanted out of the slums and away from everything they represented; that included his pairing partner; the only person he was really close to. He’d abandoned Guy for his own desires, and landed himself in a much worse situation.

He glanced toward Iason, a being who had only caused him grief and torment, and yet ... And yet, Iason had showed his body pleasure unlike anything he had ever known before, even with Guy. With Iason he never had to worry about where his next meal was coming from or if his meager apartment generator would give out and he would freeze to death over the harsh winters of Ceres. He never had to worry about anything because Iason controlled it all.

Turning, he started to run.

“Riki!” Guy screamed at him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” Riki sobbed as he ran towards the flames, towards Iason.

Guy suddenly appeared before him. “He can’t have you!”

Riki felt the blade stab through him, unable to stop his forward momentum even for an instant. He cried out as Guy stood over him, the blade dripping with his blood.

“You’re mine, not his! Not his! Not his!”

The blade swooped down again and Riki screamed.

Iason watched Riki on the monitor, noticed the change in his sleep pattern and the young man’s sudden uneven breathing. He was dreaming again. Ever since their dinner a few days ago, Riki had stubbornly gone back to sleeping in his own room; back to the nightmares.

He was at his wits end knowing what to do for his pet. Riki was determined to leave and nothing he said would change that. Letting Riki go was not an option, and yet neither was forcing him to stay. There seemed no way through Riki’s anger and resentment and it was beyond frustrating.

Becoming kinder, gentler and more tolerant seemed to have no affect on Riki’s determination to be free. Using force, or threats only pushed his pet further away from him. Even his attempt to use Riki’s obvious affection for Cal as leverage had failed. What more could he possibly do? He had never faced such a difficult problem.

Katze had mentioned verbalizing his feelings to Riki, but had he not already done that? He reminded Riki often who he belonged to and that he would never let him go. Compliments rolled off or Riki’s back like rain water and never seemed to penetrate his tough exterior. Was that because he refused to believe them, or because he had such little confidence?

Iason sighed. Humans were usually so predictable, so what was it about this one slum Mongrel that was so complicated? Riki ‘s body he understood, he knew the boy’s body better than Riki himself. Riki ‘s mind was also easily understood, Iason could predict his pet’s reactions to almost any given scenario, but Riki ‘s heart, the core of a human’s emotions, was something that mystified Iason. How could he understand that which he did not have, and how could he win a prize that was so rigidly guarded?

Riki’s breathing accelerated and Iason focused on the monitor again. When he started to thrash about in his sleep, Iason turned the monitor off.

Riki was burning! Guy had left him bleeding on the highway as Iason Mink crawled towards him, using his large hands and arms to pull himself forward until they were together. The bright orange flames that swarmed the Blondie’s body now crawled over Riki. Then all he could see was fire. All he could smell was his own flesh burning.