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Bec

red61544

For the fifth or sixth or seventh time, I've just reread BarBar's "Bec". https://storiesonline.net/universe/380/bec-lost-in-the-maze

The entire series covers less than a week in a young girl's life but it has to be the best "coming of age" story I've ever read. To me, it may be the best ever written. It's right up there with "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" or "Catcher in the Rye". If, for some odd reason, you haven't read it at least once, do so. If you've read it once, read it again. It was even better the seventh time than it was the fourth, fifth, and sixth.

Please, BarBar, give us one more day in the life of Bec!

Replies:   Vlad_Inhaler
Vlad_Inhaler

@red61544

I think the last part took pretty much a week in itself, it ran weekend to weekend.
(from memory, without looking at it again).
Great story.

jimh67

I quit in the middle of Bec 3. Her brother's creepy behavior in getting her to take off her clothes in front of his friends would be charged by many prosecutors as child abuse. That was followed by sexual asssault of Bec's teen sister through bondage that was not tagged. And yes, tying a minor child spread eagle while nude is sexual assault. Now, I read bondage stories and bro/sis stories, but reading them on purpose and having the actions thrown in my face un-coded and without warning are two entirely different things.

tendertouch

@jimh67

And I read comments like these before starting the first book and thought better of it. Untagged BDSM will get an author kill filed by me, just like untagged male homosexuality will by some others.

Grant

@jimh67

Now, I read bondage stories and bro/sis stories,

Whereas those sort of stories do nothing for me & I avoid them, yet i had no issues at all with the scenes you've described in Bec3.
Context & interpretation is everything.

Han van Meegeren

@jimh67

I'm not sure you read the same story as I did. I found nothing that was creepy at all in Bec1,2 or 3. Like Grant said, it's all about context.

Replies:   Vlad_Inhaler
Vlad_Inhaler
Updated:

@Han van Meegeren

Think back to the scene where Laura ties Bec up and leaves her in a wardrobe, the scene which leads one of Laura and Tara's friends to go nuclear and publicly dump Laura.
I agree with the bit about context though.

jimh67
Updated:

What is appropriate about the context for Bec innocently walking into her home and finding that her parents have tied her sister up nude and spread eagle? Bec was shocked. Please tell me the prior context from which Bec and I should have seen that coming.

Replies:   Grant
Grant

@jimh67

Please tell me the prior context from which Bec and I should have seen that coming.

1- Parent, not parents- had you read the series you'd know & understand that particular point.
2- Post context, not prior context.
What happened & why was explained- that's the way most things are. You find out about the whys & how's after things happens, not before.

The fact is that BarBar would have copped a lot of flack for tagging the story as BDSM in any way, shape or form by those reading the story for such content, and then being extremely disappointed at there not being any.

And as for tagging for possible squicks, as a previous post on these forums has shown, pretty much anything can be a squick to someone.

Replies:   jimh67  tendertouch
jimh67
Updated:

@Grant

I personally think that an author should recognize that nonconsensual nude bondage of a child would squick some people. Tara was 14. She could not legally consent, a situation that is aggravated in when the offender is a parent who has complete authority over a child.

I understand the post context argument and how the reader comes to realize, "oh, now that makes sense." I think that is the sign of a good author. I'm just not sure that a sensitive person who for whatever reason was triggered by Tara's being tied up nude and spread eagle should be expected to continue reading in order to find out that the father's action was consistent with his character and important to the plot.

I personally doubt that a significant number of people would have been offended if Bec 3 had been tagged "light bondage." But that's just me, and I could be wrong.

In the end, Bar Bar made a judgement call about the tag with which I disagree. You can't please everybody.

Replies:   Grant
tendertouch

@Grant

And as for tagging for possible squicks, as a previous post on these forums has shown, pretty much anything can be a squick to someone


Not sure if it applied here but there used to be something of a courtesy concept - not enforced - of 'hot codes'. BDSM, M/M, incest, pedophelia - they were all things that authors would tag if there was *any* such content in the story, not necessarily if it was about that particularly practice. Some things are hot buttons for a large enough portion of the readership that it makes some sense to let people know up front. It's probably fallen out of favor along with so much else of courtesy these days.

Replies:   darrok
darrok

@tendertouch

The opposite is the case. It has not fallen out of favour, it has been assumed that adults had the mental fortitude to read about topics and content that was controversial, that they had no need to retreat into a safe-space, like some sort of adult pillow-fortress, that protected their precious feelings from the harsh reality.
If someone is so mentally retarded, still a mentally infirm child that needs to be protected from reality, maybe, just maybe they should not be on an adult stories platform.
Personally, I think you should use the tags that feel relevant to the story you want to tell.

Now, for a small absurdity: I get triggered by trigger-warnings, please accomodate that. Good luck creating a trigger-warning for that

Dominions Son

@darrok

I get triggered by trigger-warnings, please accomodate that. Good luck creating a trigger-warning for that


you are behind the times. You are not the fist to express a desire for trigger warning warnings.

tendertouch

@darrok

As I said.

Personally, I see it, note it, kill file the author and move on.

Lokar
Updated:

@darrok


If someone is so mentally retarded, still a mentally infirm child that needs to be protected from reality, maybe, just maybe they should not be on an adult stories platform.


While I agree that you shouldn't overuse tags, the tags are still there to be used. It's up to the authors to decide how they will use them, and I don't usually disagree with their judgement. I haven't read Bec, so wouldn't know what to think in this case.

But to argue that you shouldn't read stories here if you don't like how the real world works seems kind of misplaced since almost all stories here are fiction, not at all realistic. Alot of people read FICTION because they find it more interesting than reality. Or maybe you think that one shouldn't read stories about teenagers with 12" dicks who makes any woman drop her pants with just a look, if one can't face this "harsh reality"?

Replies:   Tera  darrok
Tera

@Lokar

Was about to say the same. Yes, if you take @Darroks words literally, and you have an actual condition that puts your mental age as that of a child, of course you shouldn't read stories here (if you even could read at that point).

But if you're just an adult that don't like some peculiar squicks, to imply that you shouldn't read stories here if you can't handle how realistic they are, that's just plain ridiculous.

darrok

@Lokar

I argue that, if you have a need to be protected from anything that might offend you, you should not be on the internet, you should be in kindergarten.
Thus, I don't think that there should be rules that you have to place certain tags, if your story touches remotely on those concepts. Saying more would violate forum rule number six, so I leave it at that.

Replies:   tendertouch
tendertouch

@darrok

That sort of attitude - that 'real adults' can handle 'it', whatever 'it' may be, leads to a lot of suicides by real adults who've gotten past what they can handle. Imagine an abuse survivor who is happily reading a story that helps her/him and runs into an uncoded scene that matches their abuse? How should they feel? 'Oh, I'm an adult, this shouldn't bother me'? Maybe, but it might also cause them to melt down. Yet other content here may be empowering to them or at least enjoyable.

Yep, I've dealt with survivors of abuse, rape, traumatic stress - thankfully not as a therapist but just as a friend/relative/spouse. No, I don't agree that an 'adult' should be able to read anything here without it affecting them.

As I said, courtesy seems to have fallen out of favor in many areas (as well as civility) and I'd suggest your attitude is simply an example.

Replies:   darrok  joyR
darrok

@tendertouch

And the destigmatisation of psychological treatment would help a lot more, compared to enabling ostrich-like behaviour.
We see where your path leads to, to law-school students being allowed to skip classes dealing with sexual assault laws because they are triggering, without any repercussions (as in, being limited to what they can practise later, for a public defender those laws are a lot more important than for the average contract lawyer)

Sure, you are only advocating for that shite in a hobby-space, but I'm a firm believer in nipping things in the bud.

Grant

@jimh67

should be expected to continue reading in order to find out that the father's action was consistent with his character and important to the plot.

For future reference- It wasn't done by her father (for reasons that the stories make very clear).

Replies:   jimh67
joyR
Updated:

@tendertouch


Imagine an abuse survivor who is happily reading a story that helps her/him and runs into an uncoded scene that matches their abuse? How should they feel? 'Oh, I'm an adult, this shouldn't bother me'? Maybe, but it might also cause them to melt down.


Just out of interest, since you seem to kill file uncoded 'events' in stories.

How do you feel about a story with basically no codes that contains a number of references to abuse, some of which are glorified, including that perpetrated on a son with the father's knowledge and consent?

jimh67

@Grant

Thank you for the correction. I misremembered and didn't intend to misrepresent the story.

Replies:   Vlad_Inhaler
Vlad_Inhaler

@jimh67

That was actually an important part of the plot. Bec stopped the situation by pointing out that her/their father was going to react *really* badly when he found out. Really badly as in triggery. Which was probably the point of the scene.

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