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bad sex in fiction 2017 extracts.

bjjohns

From Reddit, for humor only.
https://nothingintherulebook.com/2017/11/23/bad-sex-in-fiction-extracts-from-the-2017-shortlist/

garymrssn

Sex gets even worse with the addition of bad editing.
I once read a story where the author had a female character "spayed" on the bed for her lover and there was no mention of a veterinarian anywhere.

Vlad_Inhaler

@garymrssn

In the UK, we call them vets.
Artie wrote an excellent multi-part story called Open Clinic about a vet who was also a vet. Unfortunately he pulled all of his stories five or six years ago.

Replies:   JohnBobMead
Ross at Play
Updated:

@garymrssn

I once read a story where the author had a female character "spayed" on the bed for her lover and there was no mention of a veterinarian anywhere.

Spay is a transitive verb, so she was either the veterinarian or some kind of illegal back-yard abortionist for beds - but that leaves me wondering where the ovaries of beds are located, what must a human male do to inseminate a bed, and what kind of creature could have resulted from such a mating?
Am I being anthropocentrically presumptive in just assuming 'her lover' was human?
Does anyone know the word for the grievous un-PC sin I just committed in assuming the lover was male? Am I committing that sin again in thinking that approximately 52% of the population would answer my last question with "male"?

JohnBobMead

@Vlad_Inhaler

Artie wrote an excellent multi-part story called Open Clinic about a vet who was also a vet. Unfortunately he pulled all of his stories five or six years ago.


There are some Wayback Machine captures of his ASSTR site and a mirror. URLs have been listed previously, use the search forum posts function to locate them. The captures aren't complete, unfortunately.

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