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Someone from the UK willing to proof read a 7 chapter story?

Eddie Davidson 🚫

I am an American and an anglophile. I adore people from the UK.

I've often wanted to write a story about characters in the UK but I don't know the culture well enough to do it justice. I've made an attempt with a seven chapter short story.

The premise is a Mum that lives in a small village in Surrey likes to do naughty dares that her sons give her. The locals have seen her flashing her bum around town.

I establish early on that for purposes of the story breakfast, dinner, tea and supper is the order, by saying the character chose those intentionally for meal purposes.

I've researched chip butties, and vimto soda and tried to include some UK flavor so it's not just "Americans with cool accents".

I've researched some phrases, and also established that the main character is from the North but lives in Surrey now, and watches programs like "Geordi Shore" and Reality TV so that her accent might be a mixed bag. That gives me an out for not getting it exactly right and it's how I saw her anyway.

But what I'd really appreciate is someone who I can send the story to here through the internal mail system, give it a quick read and a thumbs up, or tell me what needs to change/why please?

I don't want the story marred because I was inauthentic in dialogue.

You would obviously need to be okay with humiliation and incest themes in a story, although she draws the line at shagging her sons -including oral etc. She doesn't care if people around the village THINK that, because they "are going to think what they want anyway"

Thanks!

Replies:   phil_5
phil_5 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

Hi
I'd be happy to take a look at it for you.

KR

PM

Replies:   Eddie Davidson
Eddie Davidson 🚫

@phil_5

thank you Phil, I posted it up already but would love your feedback in mail on here?

https://storiesonline.net/s/28287/my-sons-dared-me

My sons dared me. I want to do another story about the daughter but haven't dared. It was a little exhausting.

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