Forum: Story Ideas

A question of how would you write this? 8/25/21

blackjack2145309 🚫

There's a writing topic i've been kicking around in my head that i was hoping to get some useful advice on.

How would you write a scene were you had to move a dead body/unconscious person out of a semi public place like a condo complex of a tall building? Think mid to high income range.

In the scene i was thinking about, i'm kind of leaning towards the MC calling in a group outside to help, but i'm having trouble coming up with a good cover story for the "outside" group to come into the building.

Any thoughts?

Replies: Dominions Son rkimmelerre awnlee jawking Remus2 Harold Wilson

Dominions Son 🚫
Updated:

@blackjack2145309

As long as we are talking condos and not rented apartments, an easy cover story is carpet and or Appliance delivery/install.

In with the new, out with the old and a ready made way to conceal the body on the way out.

Replies: StarFleet Carl

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Dominions Son

an easy cover story is carpet and or Appliance delivery/install

Wrapping them up in a carpet is old school. My first thought was - condo, a refrigerator box (with or without the fridge in it) on a pallet jack or two wheel dolly works nicely. Depending upon your level of squeamishness and how quickly you have to get rid of the body, put it into the bathtub, let it bleed out there, then simply utilize a saw. You take the head and legs off, the whole body will fit into a rather normal sized suitcase on wheels. Make sure you put appropriate cleansers down the drain to deal with blood. (Or just simply apply enough pressure to dislocate their joints, which is tougher than it sounds, and fold them up that way, using strapping tape so things don't flop around too much.)

Unconscious person that you don't actually want to kill (at least not at that location), a wheelchair is an obvious solution. Have an O2 tank and some tubing running around the head, a wig to disguise the hair, and just let the head flop down. Hands in the lap under a shawl or blanket, and granny or grandpa is asleep.

The other thing is, if it's an outside group, they can always be a 'private' ambulance or 'private home health care' service. (Sorry, such and such is rather intoxicated, or OD'd on something, fell, and since we don't want publicity, we're using a private service to take them to private medical care. Thank you for your discretion.)

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Wrapping them up in a carpet is old school.

But it works.

My first thought was - condo, a refrigerator box (with or without the fridge in it) on a pallet jack or two wheel dolly works nicely.

With the fridge is better, or at least a sold frame inside the box. You wouldn't want to have the box flex in front of witnesses as if it was empty, or the box shifting in a way that would make it seem too light.

Replies: StarFleet Carl

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Dominions Son

With the fridge is better, or at least a sold frame inside the box. You wouldn't want to have the box flex in front of witnesses as if it was empty, or the box shifting in a way that would make it seem too light.

That's the nice thing with the new refrigerator box - when they're hauling out the old one, simply put the person INSIDE the old fridge, not just the box. Cargo strap around the door and it's not flying open. Another thing would be a small chest freezer - rule of thumb is every 63 pounds of weight is one cubic foot. So, most people would fit inside of a five cubic foot chest freezer, or easily inside of a seven cubic foot one. The smaller ones are a couple hundred bucks, the larger ones less than three hundred at Lowes or Home Depot every day.

(For that matter, a standard double door kitchen base cabinet has enough room inside it.)

rkimmelerre 🚫

@blackjack2145309

I think the appliance box is a great idea, but to allay suspicion and if you can hold onto the body for long enough you'd be better off actually buying a new fridge, freezer, oven, mattress or whatever you're going to use to get the body out. If and when the cops figure out the body was in your vicinity, people remembering an appliance delivery to your apartment but said appliance isn't new will not look good.

I also wouldn't disguise the group that brings the body out as official movers or store employees, either, for the same reason. Let people think you and your "friends" are moving things yourselves to save on the delivery fee. That itself might be suspicious if you're well off enough to easily afford the fee. And make damn sure you dispose of the old whatever in a way that meets all legal requirements.

If i were writing this I'd make at least one of the clean up crew a good friend who would point out that "Best friends help you move bodies" is meant to be metaphorical, dammit!

awnlee jawking 🚫

@blackjack2145309

There have been a number of cases IRL recently involving dead bodies being stuffed into suitcases and even holdalls. I'm not sure about the logistics of carrying a body in a holdall, but there are various legitimate options for wheeling a suitcase, including built-in rollers.

AJ

Replies: blackjack2145309

blackjack2145309 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Well to answer your question about "logistics" about carrying a dead body, i think on a basic level what Jeffery Donovan said in the series "burn notice" said it best with the following:

"Preserving a corpse is not a frequent job requirement for a spy. But if you must, stashing a body is a lot like storing high explosives. Air, water, and heat are the enemy."

And expounding on the idea of using a suitcase to move a body, has anyone else noticed that characters who have to move a body always seem to screw up by not doing anything about the blood or selecting a poor quality suitcase?

Replies: awnlee jawking Pixy

awnlee jawking 🚫

@blackjack2145309

always

Real life doesn't necessarily imitate fiction.

Jamal Khashoggi, Gareth Williams ;-)

AJ

Pixy 🚫

@blackjack2145309

stashing a body is a lot like storing high explosives. Air, water, and heat are the enemy."

Depends on the type of high explosive. If it was PE4 or equivalent, the first two will have no effect and the third is a credible, and in some cases, the recomended option for safely destroying it without the large shock-wave and bits of things flying everywhere...

Replies: StarFleet Carl

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Pixy

safely destroying it without the large shock-wave and bits of things flying everywhere...

The large shockwave and bits of things flying about is the fun part, though!

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@blackjack2145309

move a dead body/unconscious person

The difference between dead and unconscious is the first problem to decide. If still alive with intent to keep them that way, the medical angle as others have mentioned is your best option imo.

If dead, it can get as simple or complicated as you want to make it.

Is the building new construction or old? For the latter, there will be people in the building to avoid. For the former, it's possible the construction crews would still be working the upper floors replete with a construction debris chute. If that's the case, shrink wrap the body and dump it down the chute after-hours. No one would be the wiser assuming an accomplice to immediately remove the waste container.

example of the chute.

The potentials for that scene are too numerous to count or mention them all.

Harold Wilson 🚫

@blackjack2145309

In the scene i was thinking about, i'm kind of leaning towards the MC calling in a group outside to help, but i'm having trouble coming up with a good cover story for the "outside" group to come into the building.

Make that part of the story: A guy calls his best friend, tries to use euphemisms to explain the situation, asks for help.

"Hey, remember that movie we watched over at your sister's house before she left for college?"

"Weekend at ..."

"Shh! Shh! Yeah, that's the one. That one. Listen, MY COUSIN Bernie is here with me, and I need to get him out of the house for a while, can you come over and give him a ride?"

"Your cousin? You don't have any cousins."

... etc ...

You can play it for drama, comedy, slapstick, suspense, however you want. Maybe a little bit of both - have them seal up the fridge box, and someone downstairs thinks they are moving it in and runs it up the elevator for them, or something.

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Forum: Story Ideas

A question of how would you write this? 8/25/21

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