Forum: Story Ideas

BTB by Suicide

Charro6 🚫

BTB by Suicide
Read a story where husband tells wife's lover "Next time I see you in my house one of us will be leaving in a body bag"

Elderly couple husband has medical problems that caused impotence. Wife gets frustrated and takes a lover. Husband finds out he is going to die just before catching his wife and lover. Most of Family (adult children, siblings, and in-laws) sides with wife so she continue seeing lover. Does not tell anyone about pending death. Final humiliation wife invites love her to family gathering. Husband pulls gun and blow his brains out in front of everyone. How does family cope guilt trip, blame game, or any other mental issues arise.

Husband cannot kill anybody else is that will give sympathy. Bonus points if husband makes financial arrangements for his half of savings get donating to charities before killing himself.

Replies: Vincent Berg Fiend666 Radagast

Vincent Berg 🚫

@Charro6

Sounds like an especially dark story, and this is coming from someone known for writing dark stories. But even I wouldn't touch something like this with a ten-foot pole.

No matter the premise, a story has to reveal some hidden truths in the readers, and this is nothing more than a 'she did me wrong so I slaughtered everyone simply because I could' treatise. Personally, I'd find a way to humanize it, giving the protagonist a way forward (say with a relative who supported them, pulling for him and talking him out of his retribution, so he'd then reward them at the expense of everyone else).

With a little work, the basic premise would work, but there needs to be some humanizing element beyond mere blood revenge fantasy.

Replies: Charro6 Pixy

Charro6 🚫

@Vincent Berg

True it would take a very dark view to write. Would also give any authors who research suicide effects on family members nightmares. But how often does "I'll show them" work it's way into suicide.

The husband is committing suicide to get back at family that betrayed him not killing a bunch of people. When I read the original story about the body bag one thought that popped in my head was "I'll show them"

Pixy 🚫

@Vincent Berg

and this is nothing more than a 'she did me wrong so I slaughtered everyone simply because I could' treatise.

You miss-read the question, poster clearly states that the husband blows his (own) brains out and "Husband cannot kill anybody else is that will give sympathy", that's hardly 'slaughtering everyone' (unless the husband had multiple personalities...)

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@Pixy

that's hardly 'slaughtering everyone' (unless the husband had multiple personalities...)

Even if the husband had multiple personalities it still wouldn't be everyone, unless he's one of those people who believes that he is the only person who exists and everyone else is a figment of his imagination.

Fiend666 🚫
Updated:

@Charro6

DG Hear had a story where the husband catches the wife cheating....she has cheated with the same guy 3 times and husband knows it. He comes home early and catches them together in his marital bed and shoots the lover then works his wife over beating her and ripping up her clothes and calls 911 to report his wife being raped to see what she'll do. She goes along with the rape story. After they leave the hospital he asks her if that was the only time she cheated on him with her lover and she lies to him so he leaves. Next day the police arrive to inform the wife that husband is dead in a road accident that is being investigated as a possible suicide..later they rule it as an accident. Since the lover and husband are both dead the police just want to close the case. The wife has to continue the lies for her children and family while knowing she was the cause of both men's deaths. She's even confronted at her own husband's funeral by the lover's widow.

Edit: The Affair by DG Hear is the story. I was off on some small details but its essentially what I wrote.

Radagast 🚫

@Charro6

Already been done. On Lit there is a story where man has a massive stroke after catching his wife cheating. Wife moves him into her lovers house to care for him while still screwing her lover. Man blows up the house by tampering with a gas line, all three are killed. Plenty of darkness in that one.
Vandemonium had a similar story on here before pulling his works, The Mortcrater Party. Offended man blows up himself, the house and her lover while his wife watches. Yes, he donates all of his money to charity first.

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Forum: Story Ideas

BTB by Suicide

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