Forum: Story Ideas

That effectively means Rebecca. Who would be alert about his intentions, but may roll with it anyway. Problem is, there's may not be simple way to address the place, and telling a girl (you see about once a week, while her grandmother sells you a can of fresh milk) something along the lines: "you go on the country road that way, then before the grove on the hill you turn right and go along the side of mr. Rafter crop field all the way down, and there you will find a narrow passage in the huge lilac bushes gone wild..." may not be very productive either (although, that girl, being predator herself, could be the one who can get it easily).

He could, of course, try to tell said grandmother, but that has a whole can of worms...

Yes, sure. But for the dweeb that guy is, that is yet to be learned.

Also: they aren't actually talking at this point, he doesn't exist for her yet, and there's no actual way to meet, not one this guy could identify. Well short of them coming for a visit to meet neighbors and/or seeking permission to cross property to reach the river (with itself has public right of way). Then, sure, he may suggest that place directly, but not his intentions anyhow.

For a refreshing change, why not go with honesty?

I was thinking, that's indeed definitely a story that's needs writing, and why, while not natural in this given multiverse it could even happen, but rather in one of the other stories that are lurking around. So while cutting tall grass around my sea buckthorn growth I was struggling to not rehash that outline.

And then I thought, well, it actually could possibly happen here too after all, not completely, sure, but as a kind of beneficial error on his part. Perhaps it's not initial phase, but maintenance later, with him believing her not home or otherwise hoping not be noticed.

Would the girl go investigate a strange sound in the woods [of an electrical grass trimmer] she doesn't recognize because a) even if she's heard one before in her understanding electrical grass trimmers doesn't operate in deep wilderness, b) this guy works ignoring safety rules and thus the sound isn't the rhythmicall shwuurururpush--whoops--shwuurururpush--whoops but more continuous. And when she sees him and turns to leave, he goes like, "Kristin wait, where you want this trail to come out?"

On the off chance that your post was a question that you expected me to answer...

from your post you still don't get the post I was making. A lrefresinng change would be honesty. Dreaming up scenarios where that nearly happens isn't a refreshing change.

However shy, unsure, socially inept etc he is, just have him walk, stumble up to her and simply tell her thew truth, he can stutter, blush, cringe, whatever. If she is half the girl he thinks she is, she won't laugh and him, she'll recognise his approach for what it is.

I did get what you mean. And yes, it would be different. Very. And I do say, that's fun, I do agree, that could be great, potentially.

I'm also sure you're imagining very different story than I right now (or at least the story I'm imagining you probably imanaging is very different from what I started with), so by all means, go write that story. Would I? I haven't written anything yet, and may never do.

I could, but I would have to rebuild my world and my character to allow that to happen. And it's not that honesty is alien concept in that world (it is, sorta, especially if I go back to nineties, we are all monsters), that would only make it more desirable, conceptually. It was, is! But even if he found the courage to do it he would not forgive himself the arrogance he would feel necessary to attempt that. And if he went for it as a last ditch effort it would render the whole thing into a comedy, and even if I see how fun it could be, it doesn't lead to scenes I was aiming for, but it might lead to other, potentially no less desirable scenes, but I might need a more self-confident and less clumsy girl for that... And...

If she is half the girl he thinks she is,

Um. Sorry, wrong. She's just a show to be watched, he's not interested in her as a person at all, yet. That may change, but no, there was no plans for a happy ending either. I guess where it come from, the commitment of building that fly trap might seem disproportionate, it may be, but he didn't even do it for years, yet. She's not even the only fly he hopes to catch there, either.

So, I do appreciate your suggestion, it is a good one, and potentially I may, theoretically, arrive at a new story even if potentially sharing some of the initially intended scenes... with went unwritten, me spending time on this involved answer, but I'm not complaining it might be of more value for humanity, or even me.

She's just a show to be watched, he's not interested in her as a person at all, yet.

Your story. Your characters. Your prerogative.

I guess where it come from, the commitment of building that fly trap might seem disproportionate,

Understatement of the year.

All that aside, good luck.

:)

Understatement of the year.

Against 5 acres of casual, "wild" gardening he already does and the "conversations" with the river in the home swimming hole? It's a small project.

Yes, while putting something in her aunt's mailbox (with is at the road end of the several hundred yards long driveway) might be possible, it does have problems. Most notably it makes impression the place to be well known, with is opposite of desired. There's also absolutely no tradition for anything similar; it would be viewed with extreme suspicion, at least by the aunt.

Going right in, in person, like "hello, I'm your neighbor from over there, yadda, yadda [a valid, however minor excuse for the surprise visit] yadda yadda; by the way there's great place to swim right behind those woods, yes, feel free to walk over, yadda yadda," could be actually more natural and much less suspicious even if the guy would feel like "of course I will be watching" was written on his forehead, it may not be actually readily assumed, that's definitely impolite, deviant behavior after all, not expected. It may also accomplish nothing, of course.

An excuse could be found, or invented; from local politics petitions, to attempt to sell honey, to a major class of excuses that would involve the grandfather as he's the least generation who actually knew neighbors (but not necessarily those neighbors as they may have changed, or even be new or relatively new in-builds), and also still manages many of the property aspects. With may be less problematic than it may seem and help with "yadda yadda" parts that otherwise represent a major hurdle and anxiety.

In short, no.

They're close, he had been subjected to rather gratuitous details of her intimate relationships, and she would do almost anything for her beloved little brother, but this may not be covered. He's also too ashamed of his voyeur behavior to reveal it, and expect to be shamed at best, to deal with attempts of corrective action for a long time at worst.

Actually, if he spilled his problem to her, he would extremely likely receive @joyR advice: "just go and tell her," as both honest opinion and sharp rebuttal bundled in one, and he would have to say how crazy she is. It might be fun episode, actually, but with potentially unwanted consequences.

She's also not yet reliably home, busy with... exams graduating high school? Or whatever. She also has no desire or reason to use the public swimming hole, and even if she's just two-three years older than Johnny, Kristine and Rebecca, that's already different crowd, if can be helped. She can, unwittingly, help with the neighborhood girls losing their swimsuits once they are already visiting there, by distantly observed example, she may be assumed as the original base user of that place by them, and even potentially indeed discover and occasionally use it independently. The only way that might help with revealing the place to Kristine would be if Sister and Cousin were laughing loud enough skinny dipping there for her to hear in her backyard -- with is plausible, given how low the noise background is in those parts...

Said cousin, whose dancing braids (long blonde braids are part of costume in formalized ethnographic dances) Johnny could "borrow" for that absurd attempt of naked crossdressing, might be visiting, even for extended periods and given she has a thing going for both of the siblings out of pure rebellion against her mother if not otherwise... she might be too busy seducing the sister, but there could be possibilities.

The most likely culprit of deliberate or unwitting help by relative is still grandfather. He might be over eighty and lame, but he knows everything. He may wonder for whom Johnny is building that swimming hole to his niece living three houses over, two miles away, over the phone, and she might spread the rumor to Rebecca's grandmother, upon a guess that's not far off target.

In practice for Johnny that amounts for just waiting things to happen seemingly on their own. He might overhear said conversation though, and be distraught about being busted...

That might be interesting, and not that far off some my other ideas even, but no.

I'm kinda sorta writing this, actually. (Mostly on my phone, so don't hold your breath.)

And... well, there's going to be some sprinkling of ancient magic, but it's unclear is it used for anything, let alone this tread topic (then, good magic is unprovable). There's also harem elements.

It's not quite an abstract romance hinging on the event presented in the topic. It's rather basically string together a bunch of sometimes quite random voyeurism episodes by a completely nuts, somewhat willingly antisocial but definitely over the top resourceful teenager guy. Order of some of those predefined episodes is yet to be decided, but the main plot (if it might be so called) is rather clear by now.

The story starts around May 19, the work on the new swimming hole can't start before second week in June, and no later than before third Sunday in July a girl who's not Kristine, nearly drowned in the new swimming hole, to be rescued by the MC, in Kristine's presence, for a shocking learning she's been watched by the MC (actually on near daily basis) while she had met him just... at least once (in graveyard of all places) but not more than a handful times, from the drowned girl's older sister (who knows a lot, but not all, and may even be seen as pseudo antagonist). Nevertheless that starts their open relationship with may or may not end by September when they go back to different schools (albeit presumably in the same unnamed singular city in the story).

There's a bunch of girls who act in inexplicably strange ways around the guy. Pegging him as mind controller is viable explanation, but the guy doesn't quite believe in magic himself, while declaring himself basically a magic being anyway. Alternatively, he's surrounded by witches who hunt him for undisclosed reasons. Sure, there's no contradiction between those two. Who manipulates whom is open for interpretation too, although I may fail to fully convey that. Yet more believably most of those events aren't anything more than random happenstance, while some to be explained by valid and natural motivations the MC does or not happen to contemplate. Himself, he might be a total sociopath or just on asperger spectrum, but his understanding of human behavior isn't innate, even if may appear very good at times (again, I may or may not succeed in conveying that).

The swimming hole is definitely prepared by him, and while declaratively for Kristine as the primary target of opportunity, the mentioned sisters are no less than close seconds and there's others. Kickstarting usage of the new swimming hole in somewhat logical way as early as possible is useful and important but how it happens is not critical. Simply discovering that "build it and they will come" is apparently true for this too was my default, and I may still revert to that.

Problem is, if there's theme to it, it's absence of clear communication and overreliance on assumptions, and overthinking to an absurd degree. Narrator is definitely unreliable, he doesn't trust anybody, and multiple other people appear to be completely nuts at least as presented by him. His initial goal is to create a private nudist beach ideally frequented only by women in with he himself is absent and ideally his very existence unknown, but be able to watch and access it at will. He will, mostly, succeed at just that, for at least limited time. What helps a little is assumption that at least between shortlist targets, others would follow from site's discovery by any of them, because they might be independently interested in such a place, do communicate, and it's location is convenient.