Please read. Significant change on the site that will affect compatibility [ Dismiss ]
Home ยป Forum ยป Story Ideas

Forum: Story Ideas

Holy Mathematics

richardshagrin ๐Ÿšซ

Most math is secular, anyone can do it anywhere they want. You can do it in public or private, in your home or in someone else's, outdoors or in a building. A lot of math gets done in schools. However there is a difference between addition, subtraction and division and multiplication. Multiplication is holy. God told the Israelites to go forth and Multiply.

Ernest Bywater ๐Ÿšซ

@richardshagrin

God told the Israelites to go forth and Multiply.

That's a common misconception, he was talking to their carpenters about how to make a stronger lightweight wood. The writing got mixed up and the hyphen got lost.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@Ernest Bywater

That's a common misconception, he was talking to their carpenters about how to make a stronger lightweight wood. The writing got mixed up and the hyphen got lost.

No, they were supposed to go to fort hand-mul-tiply

Ernest Bywater ๐Ÿšซ

@richardshagrin

God told the Israelites to go forth and Multiply.

The truth is He said, "Go out there and fuck like crazy." But the Pope had it cleaned up a lot when it got translated from Hebrew into Latin.

garymrssn ๐Ÿšซ

Paraphrase, extrapolate, reinterpret, rinse and repeat. There is no telling what marvellous places you may end up.

sejintenej ๐Ÿšซ

@richardshagrin

God told the Israelites to go forth and Multiply

Surely it was Noah (probably on behalf of Yahweh) who ordered the animals to go forth and Multiply. Later, when he went to review progress he was disappointed in the vipers who pointed out that they couldn't Multiply because they were Adders

MarissaHorne ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@sejintenej

But six months later, when Noah swung by for a visit he found the two snakes playing with several little nippers on some wooden furniture that had been set up for them.

"This is wonderful," cried Noah. How did you do it?"

It was easy, in the end" one of the parent snakes replied. "We used ..."

(wait for it)

"Log tables!"

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin ๐Ÿšซ

@MarissaHorne

Welcome the Pungent club. If you aren't a gent, Marisa, we will waive the sex test or, if you prefer, send you to the punitentiary. It may smell better there.

richardshagrin ๐Ÿšซ

@sejintenej

Some of the one celled animals like Amoeba, multiply by dividing. The rest of us may also start multiplying by dividing, the sperm and egg get together and start as a single cell. Chromosomes do something to duplicate the originals and grow cells around the results.

Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@sejintenej

who pointed out that they couldn't Multiply because they were Adders

But multiplication is just serial addition.

Back to Top

Close
 

WARNING! ADULT CONTENT...

Storiesonline is for adult entertainment only. By accessing this site you declare that you are of legal age and that you agree with our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.


Log In