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Pelaton Mom

Eddie Davidson 🚫
Updated:

I made a Blog about this but it could equally go here as well.

I don't know if you've seen this commercial or heard about it in late night TV show monologues but it is awesome.

A sexy brunette is given a Pelaton bike for Christmas. She has this Stepford wife glare in her eyes as she thanks her husband for the gift of (checks notes) "Exercise so she can look better for him."

The commercial is pretty harmless but it is easy to read into it from her exasperated sighs and pleading looks in the camera that she really doesn't want to get up at 5am every single day and do this bike - but she wants to impress her husband and keep it tight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pShKu2icEYw

There is the commercial to see it for yourself.

I am really focused right now on writing my "Keeping the Womenfolk in Line: Cumming of Age" story. I don't want to shift focus but I had two ideas last night I wanted to offer to those of you who write stories/want to write stories and see where you take it.

IDEA ONE:

What if that Pelaton Mom had a near adult son and we start the story something like this:

The mom is fairly hot but a little improvement. She wants to get fit for the New Year to impress her husband. She knows she needs more than just a bike and her own gumption.

She tells her nearly adult son that she wants him to help her with diet because she always cheats/loses motivation.

"Be as brutal as you can! I mean really strict," she suggests.

"You wont' do what I tell you" he has been down this road before and knows his mom rarely sticks to her diet plans and exercise fads.

"Yes, I will! This time I am serious! We just have to keep it a secret from your dad. Anything else is fair game!" she insists.

"Fine Mom, undress"

"What?"

"yeah, I need to see what areas of your body we are working with."

"Okay, thats a little much"

"See? I told you that you wouldn't do what I said," the son shrugs it off and goes back to watching TV.

"Well, that's a little perverted, don't you think?" she says.

"You'd undress for a doctor who needs to examine you. I need to see your problem areas and so do you. In fact, I want you to exercise in the nude so that your tight fitting yoga pants don't hide the jiggle when you bend over," he says quite seriously. "Don't worry. Dad will never find out. You'll exercise right here in the garage. I'll create a diet for you, and you'll have to trust me. The first time you refuse my orders then we are done"

"But what if your ideas are unreasonable?" she asks.

"Then you shouldn't be asking me to take charge if you think I'd be unreasonable. You don't tell a Doctor that you are only going to take half the prescription and treatment he is giving you. You either do it or you don't do it. Take it or leave it," he says its not a negotiation.

The story unfolds with the son taking control over her diet, exercise, lifestyle, etc for the rest of the year.

IDEA TWO:

Pelaton Mom's bike comes with a daily dose of "Stepfordexia";

"A powerful suggestive drug that makes exercise seem important even to the laziest fat-ass"

Side effects may include: Never feeling good enough, desiring to prove your devotion to your husband, random nudity, strangely submissive sexual desires, occasional bursts of housekeeping, and bloating.

In other words a traditional mind control story about the Stepford Mom struggling with the realization she has this compulsion to behave contrary to her nature and obey her husband.

Thoughts?

PunkShooation 🚫

I would definitely love to read that story. Sadly I'm not good or consistent at writing.

Jim S 🚫

Your description of option 1 describes Spring Training by colt45 to a T. Can't get much closer.

whocarez 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

Option 1 but son should invite some friends to make sure mom is doing it right and show off improvements. She will stand there while her son grops her explaining the areas they focused and what improved with even asking them to feel it (her body)

blackjack2145309 🚫
Updated:

@Eddie Davidson

Admittedly I don't hate the idea of Pelaton bike mind control (because my inner conspiracy theorist thinks it's true)

Though you'll have to fit in some humiliation/exhibitionism in somewhere....

And maybe you could use the idea of her breaking the seat and the son replacing it with something of a more sexual nature :P

Replies:   Remus2
Remus2 🚫

@blackjack2145309

I don't hate the idea of Pelaton bike mind control (because my inner conspiracy theorist thinks it's true)

I don't know about mind control, but it does seem like modern equipment like that is conditioning their minds as much as their bodies. When I see things like that, my mind sees gerbil wheels in a cage. A country full of people normalized to think human gerbil wheels are a good idea.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Remus2

A country full of people normalized to think human gerbil wheels are a good idea.

With global average wind speeds falling, governments need some method to compensate for the loss of wind turbine power.

AJ

Replies:   John Demille
John Demille 🚫

@awnlee jawking

With global average wind speeds falling, governments need some method to compensate for the loss of wind turbine power.

That's odd. In a warming world you would expect more wind levels as the atmosphere retains more energy from the sun.

You know how they talk about more severe weather events? What happened to that?

Dominions Son 🚫

@John Demille

That's odd. In a warming world you would expect more wind levels as the atmosphere retains more energy from the sun.

Actually no.

Wind (and weather more generally) is driven not by raw temperature, but by temperature gradients. To generate wind, it has to be hot here and cold there. Hot air rises here and cold air sinks there creating a circulation that becomes wind. The greater the difference in the temperatures between here and there the stronger the wind.

In a warming world, the poles warm more than the equator, reducing the temperature gradient between the equator and the poles. This will reduce the strength of the prevailing winds.

Weather in general is something of a heat engine, acting to move heat from point A to point B. Once the temperature equalizes between A and B the heat engine stops working.

Replies:   John Demille
John Demille 🚫

@Dominions Son

In a warming world, the poles warm more than the equator, reducing the temperature gradient between the equator and the poles. This will reduce the strength of the prevailing winds.

That's in contradiction of the current narrative.

If the temperature at the poles is rising and that would result in slower winds worldwide, then that means there will be less extreme weather events, not more.

So if there is less extreme weather events, that means there is no climate crisis...

awnlee jawking 🚫

@John Demille

So if there is less extreme weather events, that means there is no climate crisis...

Not necessarily. Global temperature rises are not universally popular.

AJ

Replies:   Dominions Son  madnige
Dominions Son 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Not necessarily. Global temperature rises are not universally popular.

The lessons of human history are that we prosper when temperatures are warmer and suffer when they are colder.

Replies:   John Demille  Keet
John Demille 🚫

@Dominions Son

The lessons of human history are that we prosper when temperatures are warmer and suffer when they are colder.

But, but but we're all going to die if the average temperature rises by one more degree in the next hundred years!!! AAAAAhh!!! /sarcasm

When it's warm, plants flourish and there is more of them, which means more food for humans and animals alike.

Any unexpected drop in temperature usually spells disaster for agriculture and raises prices of products and the poorest of us suffer.

I don't understand the current narrative that rising temperatures are bad.

As a citizen of Canada, I welcome with open arms rising temperatures.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@John Demille

As a citizen of Canada, I welcome with open arms rising temperatures.

The citizens of Siberia probably agree with you for the most part. The melting of the permafrost would result in more agricultural land. However those in equatorial areas probably wouldn't welcome increasing desertification.

AJ

Keet 🚫

@Dominions Son

The lessons of human history are that we prosper when temperatures are warmer and suffer when they are colder.

True... if the population was half or less from what it is now.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫
Updated:

@Keet

True... if the population was half or less from what it is now.

It is mostly still true today and would still be true if global population were to double from what it is today.

In a warmer world, more food can be produced from less land.

To the extent that the relationship between warmth and human prosperity has been broken, it was broken by technology and energy, not population.

Replies:   Remus2
Remus2 🚫

@Dominions Son

In a warmer world, more food can be produced from less land.

That's not necessarily true. Specific seasons are needed for some crops.
It would be more accurate to say, different foods can be produced from the same land.
A historical look at what crops faired better at the equator and which failed miserably needs to be considered. Then there is the quantity of light available. Warmer weather means more cloud cover. Also the latitude doesn't change thus dusk and dawn do not change.
There are many variables at play, just the temperature alone will not equate to more and stronger growing seasons.

madnige 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Global temperature rises are not universally popular.

I'd much rather live in the fridge than the oven.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@madnige

I'd much rather live in the fridge than the oven.

There is no realistic chance of global temperatures rising that much in the next thousand years.

Replies:   Keet
Keet 🚫

@Dominions Son

There is no realistic chance of global temperatures rising that much in the next thousand years.

Not on a continues scale and not globally 'oven' hot but we've had heat waves here in the last 10 years that have never been seen here before. Winters are almost gone as far as snow and ice is concerned. The last elfstedentocht (200km 11-cities skating race) here was 25 years ago. That's the longest time gap ever. It's definitely warming up.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫
Updated:

@Keet

Oven hot would be 300+ degrees Fahrenheit. There is zero chance of even the hottest places on earth getting that hot ever.

but we've had heat waves here in the last 10 years that have never been seen here before.

Well, not since humanity has started officially tracking such things, which is only the last 200 years or so.

If the look at the paleo climate records if you go back hundreds of thousands or millions of years, it's been much hotter than it is today.

Dominions Son 🚫

@John Demille

That's in contradiction of the current narrative.

True, but it is how real weather and climate work.

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@John Demille

So if there is less extreme weather events, that means there is no climate crisis...

The climate priestess Thunberg says y'all is going to climate hell.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Remus2

The climate priestess Thunberg

She's just a puppet exploited by her pseudoscientist parents :-(

AJ

awnlee jawking 🚫

@John Demille

In a warming world you would expect more wind levels as the atmosphere retains more energy from the sun.

If you consider greenhouse gases to act as a layer of insulation, I think the result would be an evening out of global temperatures, just like your indoor temperatures when you insulate your house.

You know how they talk about more severe weather events? What happened to that?

That puzzles me too. It might be a case of warmists looking harder for severe weather events and therefore finding them. I can even recall a study claiming a reduction in extreme weather events although it does seem to be outnumbered by the claims of an increase.

AJ

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I can even recall a study claiming a reduction in extreme weather events although it does seem to be outnumbered by the claims of an increase.

There is a way of measuring cumulative hurricane/typhoon activity called ACE (Accumulated Cyclone Energy).

https://climatlas.com/tropical/

There is somewhere between no trend and a slightly declining trend in ACE over the last 40 years.

Eddie Davidson 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

I am flattered anyone went back to an idea of mine from two years ago!

I was also thinking this would work for an obsessive body builder mom that wants to join a secret underground fight club.

blackjack2145309 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

I don't know how the hell this post went hilariously off the rails, but i will say this. If politicians really cared about the subject of climate change, the best thing they could have done was not to push it on the american people and simply show their support from the background :P

Replies:   John Demille
John Demille 🚫

@blackjack2145309

the best thing they could have done was not to push it on the american people and simply show their support from the background

If you think politicians care about the world, you're being too naΓ―ve. All career politicians are power hungry assholes. They have grandeur dreams and wish to remake the world in their own image.

So of course they're going to foist it on their subjects. That's exercising their power. Why would they seek power if not to use it?

That's the biggest problem of any long-running democracy/republic. After a while you would have a class of people who's goal in life is to get elected (career politicians), not to do good, but to have the power. The ones that usually win are the ones that are willing to do anything to get there, lie, cheat, sell their soul to the devil, sell their constituants etc...

A well designed democracy or republic should have rules in place to thwart the build up of such a class. Something like 'one term' for everybody. Senators, governors, presidents and no long term generous payouts from serving that single term. That eliminates a lot of the cruft that builds up and ruins countries. Then leeches won't latch on to the governmental bodies and suck them dry.

Similar rules need to be put in place for bureaucratic bodies. Every body needs to have a mandate and an expiration date because it won't matter if you have a good leader if he has to cater to the whims of an established bureaucracy whose job has become to maintain itself and not serve its purpose.

Replies:   blackjack2145309
blackjack2145309 🚫

@John Demille

Who said i ever thought politicians cared about the world? I was trying to illustrate their collective intelligence level by giving an example :P

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@blackjack2145309

The collective intelligence of all politicians world wide is approximately -infinity.

richardshagrin 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

One term limits probably would have other bad consequences. Office holders would have to steal very quickly to pay for the costs of their campaign and the attraction of political office would be mostly for relatively wealthy office holders, or older ones who have already had successful careers and can afford low paying government jobs.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@richardshagrin

older ones who have already had successful careers and can afford low paying government jobs.

I'm going to say that this group would likely be a significant improvement over career politicians.

With successful careers outside of politics, they have an idea how things work in the real world.

Replies:   madnige  Remus2
madnige 🚫

@Dominions Son

this group [relatively wealthy office holders, or older ones who have already had successful careers] would likely be a significant improvement over career politicians.

With successful careers outside of politics, they have an idea how things work in the real world.

Agreed. I'm reminded of a bon-mot (that I can't remember the source of):

Politicians, like diapers, should be changed frequently, and for much the same reason.

Remus2 🚫

@Dominions Son

With successful careers outside of politics, they have an idea how things work in the real world.

A CEO of one of the large multi-nantionals is usually surrounded by sycophants who refuse to tell that CEO he or she screwed up or has a bad idea. In the real world, most people don't have the insulating layer of peons they have to protect them from the consequences of bad decisions.
Effectively, they are politicians themselves even though they are not part of a government.

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