I can not stand a story that start with… I watch you walk into the room… I usually quit reading by the next sentence. The author has already assigned my character
I have no choice which role I want. What if I wanted to be the watcher not the walker? Am I alone or do others feel as I do?
That's called second point of view as the reader is the receiver of whatever the author is writing.
Being a man, I hate it too. It's usually aimed at women. It's almost never 'I saw you walking in with your dick swinging wildly and my lips watered'.
ETF: Swinging, not swimming. Stupid auto-correct.
swimming wildly
Due to the state of our rivers, the UK has none rated safe for wild swimming.
AJ
Not quite true, the report that most people appear to quote in regards to that statement, was the one from the WWF in which only the rivers of England and Wales and those BORDERING Scotland were tested. There was also some validity concerns about the report, specifically as to where-abouts the rivers were tested. For most, testing sites were at the delta of river and sea, where pollution would be the highest, and very few were tested further upstream where pollution was lower.
Like most data sets, results can be cherry picked to suit the aims of the people making the report.
That's called second point of view as the reader is the receiver
Actually it's both first person (I) and second person (you). That's used in role playing, not fiction.
Actually it's both first person (I) and second person (you). That's used in role playing, not fiction.
As I understand it, a fair percentage of choose your own adventure books use second person. Of course choose your own adventure books are usually targeted at kids.
As I understand it, a fair percentage of choose your own adventure books use second person.
True, but they are not first person as well. Simply second person.
You find a magic wand. You wave it and a secret door opens. There's no "I" in it.
There's no "I" in it.
We recently discussed how to spell "it", in connection with
"Railroad crossing, look out for the cars, how do you spell it without any R's".
The first letter in "It" is an I.
You find a magic wand. You wave it and a secret door opens. There's no "I" in it.
You find a magic wand. You wave it and a secret door opens.
"Seriously? Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous. Give me that friggin' wand and I'll show it up your ass!"
Uh ... you take a moment to consider your actions, before deciding to ...
"The hell I do. How about I murder the sniveling little 2nd person narrator and write my own frigging story?"
write my own frigging story
The example where "you" was used was for a game, like D&D, not a story.
" was used was for a game, like D&D, not a story.
That is a story. It's the ultimate open ended choose your own adventure story. :)
You find a magic wand. You wave it and a secret door opens.
Obviously a back door.
A lot of folk use a Magic Wand™️ in anal play…
:)
A lot of folk use a Magic Wand™️ in anal play…
I would think that a Hitachi Magic Wand would be generally too large for anal play.
I would think that a Hitachi Magic Wand would be generally too large for anal play.
You think wrong. Though obviously using a Hitachi internally is ambitious… Not impossible.
Most guys tend to presume internal use because, hey, they're guys, it's what they do. But in fact most women enjoy external stimulation as much as internal, indeed some need a combination to achieve orgasm.
While I haven't looked, Rule 34 implies that there is video evidence out there somewhere :)
And, I mean of internal use. There is ample video evidence of women enjoying external stimulation.
While I haven't looked, Rule 34 implies that there is video evidence out there somewhere :)
It looks smaller than a baseball bat or a human fist. So I concur ;-)
AJ
I watch you walk into the room
Who is doing the watching? Even for choose your own adventure, that's a crap line. It doesn't fit dialog for choose your own, RPG DM, or 2nd POV for that matter. Where does such a line actually fit?
Where did I suggest it would fit anywhere?
Didn't say that you did. I was just asking a question.
Agree wholeheartedly. One sentence like that, and I'm out of here.
Another, only slightly less annoying is when an author can't keep the pov straight within a single paragraph.
"I was the only one in the murder room." He spotted a gun on the floor.
Unless it's a story about multiple personalities, somebody needs to 'splain who he is.
"I was the only one in the murder room." He spotted a gun on the floor.
Actually, that might not be a POV problem. The "I" is used in dialogue so the character speaking is referring to himself as "I". The rest of the paragraph is narrative and evidently written in 3rd-person.
Since both sentences are in the same paragraph I assume they're the same character (the "he" and the "I"). Add a ",he said" after the dialogue and it's clearer, if not awkwardly written.
So the character is saying that he was the only one in the murder room and then spots a gun on the floor.
"I was the only one in the murder room." He spotted a gun on the floor.
If that's supposed to be dialog with narrative, the dialog is always first person. Of course the dialog should also be present tense.
In my mind what needs explaining is who/what* he is talking to if he's alone in the murder room.
*he could be talking to some kind of voice recorder to log his investigation of the room.
Of course the dialog should also be present tense.
Not necessarily. Let's say the person speaking was talking to a policeman who was called to investigate. The person is telling the policeman that he was the only one in the room. And then he spots a gun on the floor.
Let's say the person speaking was talking to a policeman who was called to investigate.
To me that doesn't make sense as he is not saying he was the only one in the room at a particular time, or when some specific event happened.
It particularly doesn't make sense in reference to when the murder happened as the victim would have been in the room as well.
And it would not be a smart thing to tell a cop you were the only one in the room beside the victim when a murder happened.
No, saying that he "was" the only one in the room, right before spotting the murder weapon makes no sense.
ETA: It would be odd for the police to be questioning a suspect or potential witness in the room where the murder happened. So the occurence of "I was the only one in the room" with spotting a gun is odd/wrong.
I can not stand a story that start with… I watch you walk into the room… I usually quit reading by the next sentence. The author has already assigned my character
I have no choice which role I want. What if I wanted to be the watcher not the walker? Am I alone or do others feel as I do?
I will be honest, I find a lot of the stories in here are just garbage. There are still a lot of gems out there, but many are just excrement. What I call "kitchen sink" stories, that have 50 different tags, and almost always the same ones.
I sometimes read a few, and also normally give up as they are the same as over 100 I have read before. Just with the names changed a bit. And when one looks through here at the "Story Ideas" thread, it is all too often the exact same thing over and over again.
Essentially, somebody begging another to write a story to fit their own kinks. "I want a story involving a son impregnating his mom", "I want a story of a daughter making herself available to her entire family", "I want a guy with a 20 girl harem that will do whatever he says", yadda-yadda-yadda.
And it is sad, that I could often take a dozen stories at random written in the last year from here, and set them side by side with 25 year old ones from the Usenet archive. And other than some events, they would be almost indistinguishable.
Second person is possibly the most common point of view in song lyrics. Also think about most love poetry. It works there. It doesn't work in fiction but I think that's why the authors think it's a good idea.
It doesn't work in fiction but I think that's why the authors think it's a good idea.
I think it can work in fiction. Unfortunately, it does assign a sex to the reader. Most of the stories in Internet erotica which use nd person are abysmally written.
I had my resons for using 2nd-person in Life Sentence.
It's rather intrusive, and takes some time to get used to, but a skilled author can make it work. I don't see the benefit of going through all this effort.
Here is a snippet from Halting State by Charles Stross:
You're four hours into your shift, decompressing from two weeks of working nights supervising clean-up after drunken fights on Lothian Road and domestics in Craiglockhart. Daylight work on the other side of the capital city comes as a big relief, bringing with it business of a different, and mostly less violent, sort. This morning you dealt with: two shoplifting call-outs, getting your team to chase up a bunch of littering offences, a couple of community liaison visits, and you're due down the station in two hours to record your testimony for the plead-by-email hearing on a serial B&E case you've been working on. You're also baby-sitting Bob—probationary constable Robert Lockhart—who is ever so slightly fresh out of police college and about as probationary as a very probationary thing indeed. So it's not like you're not busy or anything, but at least it's low-stress stuff for the most part.
When Mac IMs you, you've just spent half an hour catching up on your paperwork in the Starbucks on Corstorphine High Street, with the aid of a tall latte and a furtive ring Danish. Mary's been nagging you about your heart ever since that stupid DNA check you both took last year ("so the wee wun kens his maws ur both gawn tae be aboot fer a whiule"), and the way she goes on, you'd think refined sugar was laced with prussic acid. But you can't afford to be twitchy from low blood sugar if you get a call, and besides, the bloody things taste so much better when they're not allowed. So you're stuffing your cheeks like a demented hamster and scribbling in the air with the tip of a sticky finger when a window pops open in front of the espresso machine.
SUE. MAC HERE.
He's using an evidence-logged CopSpace channel, which means it's business. Blow me, you think, as you save the incident form you're halfway through filling in and swap windows.
SUE HERE. GO AHEAD.
With a sinking feeling, you look at your half-finished latte, then glance sideways at Bob. Bob raises an eyebrow at you.
GOT A 4 4U. SMELLS FUNNY. CHECK SOONEST.
You swallow convulsively and take a swig of too-hot coffee, burning the roof of your mouth. It stings like crazy, and you just know the skin's going to be peeling by evening when you rub it with your tongue.
Here is a snippet from Halting State by Charles Stross:
But that's written in 2nd-POV.
The OP gave an example of a combined 1st-person and 2nd-person POV.
I've never understood those kinds of stories. I would never have gotten past the first sentence just because the idea, to me, is so dumb.
When I read, it's to escape reality to one degree or another. Trying to force me to be an active participant in the story isn't going to work because nobody writes like I think.
Better is to tell me the story of some complete strangers. If I choose to live vicariously through them for a minute, fine. I likely won't, but...
I am sure I am not alone in that many of us also play with narration styles.
I even once tried writing a story in "real time", which I ultimately abandoned. And most recently, I did one entirely as a narrative of somebody looking back at his youth. No dialogue in the story at all. Just his reminiscing over the past.
And I admit, a lot of that was inspired by movies like "Stand By Me", and shows like "The Wonder Years". But taken to the ultimate, where it is all their reminiscing and no actual dialogue.
I am sure I am not alone in that many of us also play with narration styles.
Want a challenge, try future tense quotative debitive.
Well, I'm not sure it's even possible to properly convey in English. Even in Latvian with its hundreds of verb forms that's a particularly awkward construct that gets tiring fast if used for more than a sentence or two in direct speech. Then, it's basically intended to be so.
It combines inherently and explicitly unreliable information with future necessity, conveyed in passive voice that requires possessive pronouns, and as such is rare case where Latvian is pronoun agnostic, as there's no difference if the person exposed to those alleged future effects is self, you, or some third person.
But it's the mood that possibly makes most sense for relatively neutral second person narrative (outside targeted love letters) as it's commonly used for instruction, like, how to navigate bureaucratic jungle or medical procedures, while underlying the narrator themselves have only second hand information about any of that.
The, "okay, I know nothing about it, but this is my best guess what I/you/they will have or be required to do" is implied by very grammar in every sentence. Thus, any sexual activity would basically necessarily come out as at least potential abuse.
So it would go something like this:
"Supposedly, you will have to get to this address somehow. There supposedly should be a red brick house. You will supposedly have to walk yourself towards that house. They probably should wait you there. Inside there's supposedly a bedroom somewhere. Once there you will supposedly have to undress yourself. There's supposedly at least one white chair with restraints on it. Yes, you're going to be fucked anyhow, supposedly. They may probably have sedated you by then anyway."
And so forth.
