Overall great story, but clearly needed an editor and seems like the ending was rushed. Anyone else read it?
Overall great story, but clearly needed an editor and seems like the ending was rushed. Anyone else read it?
I read it and that was my assessment as well. The ending was like a movie that hit the 1:50 mark and had ten minutes to wrap it all up. I enjoyed it but I think there was potential for more. But I can understand why you might end it that way.
That was exactly my feelings on it. The whole ashley subplot at the end went no where fast and it made the ending feel extremely rushed. I wonder if that ending was planned or if he/she had to wrap it up quickly.
Now I'm glad I dropped it half way through. There have been a few lately that started good but got boring later.
I dropped it soon after the start because of the intricate details of American football and the protagonist taking drugs.
I dipped into it again near the end and found the protagonist was proud to have won the Superbowl in a drug-free career.
AJ
I dropped when the loving dad and football coach gave his son the nod to use PEDs. After that, I couldn't connect with the characters, either the MC or the supposed dad.
It is highly rated, so I am sure it is a good story, just not for me.
I dropped when the loving dad and football coach gave his son the nod to use PEDs. After that, I couldn't connect with the characters, either the MC or the supposed dad.
While I didn't drop it - courtesy of knowing a few people that did that, so I know that it did and does happen, typically with results you don't want - my feelings about the story did continue to climb. When the MC finally seemed to have his life in order, and the story was really clicking for me ... it suddenly cut to years in the future.
Mind you, I've ended two stories on here with the time skip in the last chapter, where the MC does some explaining and more more talking, but with both of those stories making it in the top 150 as far as length is concerned on here, at well over 2MB each ... you've got to end things sometime. But this ending seemed way too abrupt, as well.
courtesy of knowing a few people that did that, so I know that it did and does happen,
The way the father character was built up, selfless, attentive, determined, supporting and loving etc, sticking around and sticking to it, then suddenly "Gee, I will frown a bit but let you know it is okay to use illegal and dangerous drugs, to threaten not only your health and your future, but the future of the sports program I love so much." Was WAY too out of character.
If he had been a uncaring father, an absent minded, distracted Dad, a helicopter dad, or a stereo-typical sports dad living vicariously through his son, or even a fucking douchebag who used his son's exploits to get bragging rights over his equally douchey friends, it would have been one thing, but this was something totally out of the character that was described.
Again, this is MY opinion and it counts for exactly what you paid... :)
I was expecting some PED related drama to pop up during my way through the story but it just seemed to be forgotten about. As for the ending, like so many above the time jump skip ending really felt rushed and took the shine off what otherwise was a really good read.