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Darkest Day by Reluctant Sir

StarFleet Carl

Since this is a discussion forum about stories, and one of our points of discussion on here has been about story tags ...

The tags that Reluctant Sir put on his story, even though I have read several of his stories in the past, made me very hesitant to read it. If you haven't read it, I recommend you do, even if the tags are normally a squik for you.

So - point of discussion - were those tags necessary in the first place? Would seeing them prevent you from reading it? If they didn't concern you, why not? Because you're familiar with the works of RS? I'm truly curious as to what others think on this one.

Oh, and if you didn't get the idea from my comment earlier, I love the story and how the MC is presenting things.

AmigaClone

@StarFleet Carl

The codes as I type this reply are

Codes: mt/ft, Rags To Riches, Anal Sex, Violent


I think that there might have been a code or two related to flashback scene(s) but those appear to have been removed. Where those the ones you had been referring to?

Replies:   StarFleet Carl
awnlee jawking

@StarFleet Carl

SPOILER ALERT!

The start of the story is brilliant, with superb characterisation, despite the potential squick fodder. (Oddly enough, the bit that bothered me most was the amputation, but there's no SOL code for that.)

However the story now seems to have morphed into a rather generic 'rich kid plays with his toys' story. Although these score highly on SOL, I prefer more conflict and struggle.

A good story and very well written, it just didn't take the route I would have preferred.

AJ

Replies:   Lacri
richardshagrin

@StarFleet Carl

Because you're familiar with the works of RS?


If he is elected vice-president, will he be abbreviated RSVP?

StarFleet Carl

@AmigaClone

Anal Sex, Violent


I think the first line in the description of the story, when tied with the last two tags is what bothered me the most.

A sadistic sexual predator who kidnaps, tortures and murders children is finally caught.


Due to some of my classes in college, I ended up with some dealing with a few people who fit this description. It's sort of interesting how the human mind can compartmentalize and just block off unpleasant things, until some random event years or decades later brings them back.

Lacri

@awnlee jawking

However the story now seems to have morphed into a rather generic 'rich kid plays with his toys' story. Although these score highly on SOL, I prefer more conflict and struggle.


I agree with you, I'm kind of disappointed where the story headed after a stellar start. It's still good, and I like the interaction between characters, but I find myself skimming through alot when he's off looking at expensive boats, penthouses and other material things. Hopefully it's just because it's all new to him and be more focused on character development soon.

awnlee jawking

@Lacri

I find myself skimming through a lot when he's off looking at expensive boats, penthouses


Despite that, the latest chapter raises issues ensuing from the protagonists original ordeal, his inability to form romantic relationships with girls for example.

I think my summary was overly harsh: there's still worthwhile conflict in this story, marking it as well above average.

AJ

Dominions Son

@Lacri

but I find myself skimming through alot when he's off looking at expensive boats, penthouses and other material things. Hopefully it's just because it's all new to him and be more focused on character development soon.


Technically, that is character development. You may not like the way it's developing, but it's still character development.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Dominions Son

Technically, that is character development.


No, it's not.

Gun porn is not character development.
Boat porn is not character development.
Property porn is not character development.

The protagonist's reluctance to form romantic relationships is character development.

AJ

Replies:   Dominions Son  Centaur
Dominions Son

@awnlee jawking

Gun porn is not character development.
Boat porn is not character development.
Property porn is not character development.


The detailed description of those thing isn't, but a character's fascination with those things can be character development.

Replies:   StarFleet Carl
StarFleet Carl

@Dominions Son

The detailed description of those thing isn't, but a character's fascination with those things can be character development.


Exactly. And the minor detail that the MC has gone from being completely frightened of, well, his own shadow to now actively studying (and becoming proficient at) defending himself AND others is also character development. How he's doing so - with, to quote Neo - "Guns. Lots of guns." is simply an end to a means. (And yes, I meant it that way.)

Centaur

@awnlee jawking

Gun porn is not character development.
Boat porn is not character development.
Property porn is not character development.

Does that mean baseball, football, golf are sports porn?

richardshagrin

@Centaur

Does that mean baseball, football, golf are sports porn?

Baseball uses bats to hit balls. Golf backwards is floG and uses clubs to hit balls. I can see them as porn. Football may not be porn, but soccer (pronounced sock her) may be.

Replies:   StarFleetCarl
awnlee jawking

@Centaur

Does that mean baseball, football, golf are sports porn?


If the author goes into minute detail of eg the laws and procedures in such a way that readers can skip over chunks and not miss anything important then I'd say yes.

Having said that, some forms of 'porn' eg gun porn, attract a premium to a story's score on SOL unless they're not properly researched.

AJ

StarFleetCarl

@richardshagrin

Golf backwards is floG and uses clubs to hit balls. I can see them as porn.


Golf is only called golf because SHIT and FUCK were already taken. Or isn't that what you're supposed to say AFTER you hit the ball, instead of 'FORE'?

Replies:   Harold Wilson
richardshagrin

instead of 'FORE'

Writers also sometimes use Fore, as in Foreshadowing.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@richardshagrin

Writers also sometimes use Fore, as in Foreshadowing.


SOL writers also sometimes use Fore, as in Foreskin.
(And, sadly, because they're unable to spell 'four'.)

AJ

Dominions Son

@Centaur

Does that mean baseball, football, golf are sports porn?


Golf is neither a sport nor porn, it's a disease.

I don't understand why some men like sports where people hit balls with sticks...

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin
Updated:

@Dominions Son


sports where people hit balls with sticks...


There seems to be a lot of them. Baseball (assuming a bat is a stick), golf, polo, hockey (field hockey, is a puck in ice hockey a ball?), lacrosse, maybe some others I have forgotten. Football and soccer (in lots of places the same sport) doesn't use sticks, unless the referees measuring first downs counts. (Yard markers look like sticks to me, but you don't hit the ball with them.) Basketball doesn't use sticks. Shot put uses balls, heavy ones, but not sticks. Running various distances use neither balls or sticks, except some racing involve exchanging something that looks like a stick among the team members that race sequentially. Relay races. Maybe it isn't politically correct to discuss races. Horse racing doesn't use balls and sticks, well the jockeys sometimes hit the horse with a stick. Volleyball uses a ball. Eating honey isn't a competitive sport, but it is sticky.

Pole-vaulting uses a very long stick, unless you are jumping over residents of Poland, but no ball. (Is a disk a ball?) Some Track and Field athletes throw discuses, or is that disci? Latin plurals can be tricky.)

Balling is more fun than sticking.

Replies:   Centaur
Centaur

@richardshagrin

And you forgot bowling where you use a ball to hit 10 sticks, you also use a stick to hit a ball in crocket(sp) tennis, squash, racquetball. however if it must be a stick that hits a ball lets not for get the glory of the Pool.

Sense your in to balling try some Omnikin Ball, it's a good team sport up in Canada.

Wheezer

It seems to me that jocks are either handling their stick (in whatever size or shape) or playing with their balls.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Wheezer

What about badminton players? Not jocks in the traditional sense, but they're forever handling their 'cocks.

AJ

Replies:   Centaur
Centaur

@awnlee jawking

so if one player beats the other to the cock, is that a cock block?

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Centaur

Actually, managing to block a smash probably has a stronger claim to the term 'cock block' ;)

AJ

Harold Wilson

@StarFleetCarl

Golf is only called golf because SHIT and FUCK were already taken.


You mean Odam Tubadjo?

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