Writing "It was a dark and stormy night" has been the object of some derision. Is it just that particular phrase that should be avoided (if it should), or is it any similar description, such as "it was a windy spring morning" or "the sun shines bright over my old Kentucky home."
Is it weather that is to be avoided?
I recall Mark Twain, in the foreword to one of his stories, included one or more descriptions of weather, saying there would be no weather descriptions in the story itself.
I believe his opening is very vivid and not purple prose like the "experts" claim. I have no problem with it.
Other "experts" say not to begin with the weather. Or a dream for that matter which is done often enough.
The phrase originated in Edward Bulwer-Lytton's 1830 novel Paul Clifford.
It became the poster-child for purple prose, but the rest of the sentence(?) was more the cause than that one part.
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Is it weather that is to be avoided?
I think it's okay to mention the weather if it's pertinent to the story.
'It was a bright, sunny morning' might be just the thing to explain why the characters were temporarily unafraid of vampires.
AJ
I think it's okay to mention the weather if it's pertinent to the story.
Yeah, I found another site with Leonard's 10 rules. They had a more detailed explanation for Rule #1 which I edited in my earlier post. It's:
If it's only to create atmosphere, and not a character's reaction to the weather, you don't want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people.
Is it weather that is to be avoided?
Elmore Leonard's first rule of writing is:
1. Never open a book with weather.
If it's only to create atmosphere, and not a character's reaction to the weather, you don't want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people.
1. Never open a book with weather.
Is his zeroth law of writing 'Never open a book with an alarm clock sounding'? ;-)
AJ
'Never open a book with an alarm clock sounding'?
Not even the instruction book, "Actions in event of alarm sounding" ??
Is his zeroth law of writing 'Never open a book with an alarm clock sounding'? ;-)
What if the story starts out in a specialty shop that sells novelty alarm clocks?
to create atmosphere
If it is a Science Fiction story you may need to create atmosphere. The characters have to breathe.
Is it weather that is to be avoided?
A certain well known author avoided this by first asking a rhetorical question before continuing, "weather 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer..."
Weather can be used effectively. You can start with the dark and stormy night, if your MC is a security guard stationed outside, with rain obscuring his vision while he momentarily loses the ability to see anything else as he lights his cigarette. (If he in fact shut his eyes tightly prior to lighting up, then promptly looked around and spotted intruders ripping night-vision goggles off, then opened fire, that tells quite a bit about the guy.)
If you're using the weather as a metaphor, stop the literary masturbation and tell a fucking story.
if your MC is a security guard stationed outside, with rain obscuring his vision while he momentarily loses the ability to see anything else as he lights his cigarette. (If he in fact shut his eyes tightly prior to lighting up, then promptly looked around and spotted intruders ripping night-vision goggles off, then opened fire, that tells quite a bit about the guy.)
What, the sudden creation of a vividly lit spot causing the visual portion of a flash-bang for the poor unsuspecting terrorist wannabes? Or the fact that preserving his own natural night vision by not observing the flame was the real reason for lighting up, rather than just a bit of showmanship on his part?
More the latter than the former since the former introduces a compression/sound element. Scotopic (night/semi-chromatic) vision is very slow to recover. Five minutes minimum for full recovery dependent upon the person. It is the realm of rod cells in your eyes almost exclusively. A light flash induces a chemical change that requires time to reset.
Mesopic vision is a narrow band between scotopic and photopic (day vision) utilizing both rods and cones.
It can be said that a fight can be won or lost in the short time it takes night vision to reset; whereas photopic vision is a matter of a few seconds at worst to reset.
The majority of people don't stop to think about it. Just a strong flashlight to the eyes can leave them handicapped if they are caught out long enough in light conditions low enough to activate scotopic vision in full.
I know that military and police train for that, but it generally doesn't cross the minds of the unaware public.
I know that military and police train for that, but it generally doesn't cross the minds of the unaware public.
The old close one eye trick.
The old close one eye trick.
I recall a Mythbusters episode that looked at a claim that night vision is why a lot of pirates wore eye-patches.
Keep one eye adapted to low light all the time. Have to go from bright to dark? shift the eye patch to the other eye.
From what I recall, it worked quite well when they tested it.
The old close one eye trick.
I remember the question asked in basic training: "What do you do if a flare goes off?"
I remember the question asked in basic training: "What do you do if a flare goes off?"
other? Freeze. The other guy knows the general vicinity where the flare illuminates and is looking for targets, generally for movement.
A flare shot in the sky.
That was my answer. I was quickly told I was wrong. The answer was hit the dirt and close one eye.
"What do you do if a flare goes off?
Blame yourself for not wearing skinny jeans ;-)
AJ
Isn't this like starting with "Once upon a time..."? *grin*
Yes, people say it's now a cliche, but that's not what they have against it. After all, when he wrote it it wasn't a cliche. He also wrote "the pen is mightier than the sword" which is a cliche today. No one says that's bad writing.
Isn't this like starting with "Once upon a time..."? *grin*
Which is semantically equal to, "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ...", which is also a fairy tale.
Ursula K. Leguin wrote an article about rules for writing; she ridiculed them. One rule was not to start a tor with dialogue before we had been introduced to the characters. She pointed out that War and Peace starts out with dialogue in French.
I'm intermediate. Lear the rules; break them if you have a reason to break them, but only if you have.
One rule was not to start a tor with dialogue before we had been introduced to the characters.
I actually hate when an author does that. I recently read a novel where the author almost always began a chapter with dialogue. And then after reading the dialogue you found out who was speaking. I would go back and start the chapter over.
I actually hate when an author does that.
Me too. I started reading a highly-praised collaborative story on SOL. By the end of the first, long, chapter, the identity of the narrator protagonist still hadn't been revealed. The story attracted stellar ratings but I noticed it had very few readers so I suspected avid fans. I gave up - if the author couldn't be bothered to tell me what was going on, I couldn't be bothered to read any more in the hope of finding out.
I suppose I should have given it a really low vote, but I didn't want to break my duck.
AJ
break my duck
"The phrase to break one's duck('s egg), from the idea of breaking the 0, means to score one's first run in an innings, thus avoiding a 'duck'. In Guide to the Cricket Ground (London and Cambridge, 1867), George H. Selkirk wrote:
Duck's Egg—When a batsman makes 0 in an innings. If he makes one run he has 'broken his duck's egg;' and if he makes 0 in each innings he is said to have made a 'pair of spectacles.'
This phrase has come to mean, generally, to achieve a particular feat for the first time."
By the end of the first, long, chapter, the identity of the narrator protagonist still hadn't been revealed.
That wasn't what I was talking about. It was either a James Patterson or David Baldacci novel. At the beginning of almost every chapter, he'd start with some dialogue and a few paragraphs later you find out who was speaking rather than provide a dialogue tag right up front to let you know.
Learn the rules. Slavishly follow the rules.
Then, when you break the rules for effect, people notice, so it has more effect.
There are exceptions to all of these various suggestions, a technique that is rarely employed where you use the weather as a character. It's not always done well--since it's done so infrequently--but it's an interesting twist. I've only done it once, but I loved the overall feel it gave to the book.
Essentially, before any given scene/chapter/section, the weather—just as a fitting epigraph—captures the mood of the coming chapter. Thus, if things are going to take a sudden downturn in the story, and everything's about to go to shit, you spend a few lines with the primary character reflecting on the weather, and how it impacts their outlook/mood.
A few examples, in the Prologue, just before he's murdered, the victim of the investigation opens with the following reflections:
Councilman Adrian Adams rushed up the steep steps to the carefully maintained brownstone and slammed the heavy oak door behind him, blocking out the howling wind and icy sleet. He paused a moment to catch his breath.
"Damn, it's miserable tonight," he muttered to himself as he set his dripping umbrella on the tiled floor. "This friggin' umbrella is useless. The sleet's blowing sideways!" He glanced up the narrow stairway while he unbuttoned his dripping coat.
In the very next chapter, we're introduced to the protagonist police detective at the start of the first chapter, where the weather description is a bit more involved:
Em ignored the sleet lashing the windows, the rattling glass nearly overwhelming her voice. She curled her hair around her finger as she listened to the phone. The unsettling weather portended a more severe approaching storm.
"So how about we get together tonight? Say a nice dinner, a little wine; maybe a little romance?"
Em hoped an incoming low pressure system pelting the windows would create a temporary respite in homicides, her occupational specialty. But she knew death waits for no one. The mix of rain, sleet and lightning it created, produced anger and frustrations, and malice directed inward turns domestic. This storm, like the momentary lull in her personal life, was but a harbinger of bigger things to come. But for now, as the storm outside settled into a steady downpour, it was nice focusing on friendlier diversions between her other assignments.
After all, I don't want to become known as the inventor of "Weather Porn"! ;)
Why not? Everyone needs to be famous for something.
I don't want to become known as the inventor of "Weather Porn"
I think "It's raining men" predates you.
AJ
