It stopped me cold when in the story I'm reading he manages to reach past her cervix to her uterus with---wait for it---his tongue.
I think that's it for me for this story, a mildly interesting incest / beach / nudism combo until this point.
Here's to anatomical accuracy ...
bb
Its just a suspension of disbelief problem. He has a tongue like an anteater. Lets wave a hand and say something about nanites rearranging his physical structure, and maybe hers, or perhaps she is beginning labor and her cervix has dilated enough for his tongue to enter, but isn't blocked by the baby's head. Or they might be aliens.
There is always the possibility the author is an idiot...
Here's to anatomical accuracy ...
That's not constrained by reality, it's being constrained by 'realistic fantasy'. This doesn't qualify as realistic.
That must be the fellow who, upon seeing another git licking his own eyebrows to smooth them down, proceeded to unroll his tongue and ream the earwax from his own ears. That fellow?
That must be the fellow who, upon seeing another git licking his own eyebrows to smooth them down, proceeded to unroll his tongue and ream the earwax from his own ears. That fellow?
Yuck, yuck, yuck! Yesterday's news/comedy cycle consisted almost entirely of pictures of a presidential candidate with a bugger dropping into his mouth. This is how we pick the person to lead our country for the next four years?
Yesterday's news/comedy cycle consisted almost entirely of pictures of a presidential candidate with a bugger dropping into his mouth. This is how we pick the person to lead our country for the next four years?
He's the scary dude my mother used to terrify us kids: the 'booger' man!
That must be the fellow who, upon seeing another git licking his own eyebrows to smooth them down, proceeded to unroll his tongue and ream the earwax from his own ears. That fellow?
Good grief. That does it.
Funny thing about suspension of disbelief. The girl with natural 44Ds *that do not sag but stick straight out* is one thing and kind of silly, but excessive tongue use is definitely a flag on the play.
bb
Funny thing about suspension of disbelief. The girl with natural 44Ds *that do not sag but stick straight out* is one thing and kind of silly, but excessive tongue use is definitely a flag on the play.
The suspension of disbelief is an interesting topic, but there are several clear guidelines about it, dealing with what works, and what doesn't.
One signature rule, developed within the sci-fi community, is that readers will give you latitude to present your case and create your world, so you've got maybe three chapters where you can essentially do anything (faster-than-light travel lasting only minutes, rather than thousands of years, teleportation or time travel), but after that, the writer is required to constrain themselves, and to stick to the rules of their universe they've already created (i.e. no inventing things to get out of a situation).
That definitely includes introducing supernatural tongues several chapters in with little or no explanation. If it's essential to the plot, then you've got to address it early on, but if it isn't previous established, it'll simply never fly.
If it's essential to the plot, then you've got to address it early on, but if it isn't previous established, it'll simply never fly.
Oh, I don't know about that. If the tongue is wide enough and long enough it'll have enough lift to let you fly anywhere. (After you remove it from her uterus, of course.)
bb
Freud would say that the author has a repressed desire to return to the womb; but to lead with your tongue?
I doubt anteater tongues, but Chinese had a mousey tongue. And when they went to dinner they could Chew and Lie.
Found another one in a story I'm editing: "The man's cock easily made its way into her bowels with very little pain."
WTF?
Sounds like anal sex to me. Bowels, unless the author means a, e, i, o, u and sometimes y, are the small and large intestines, which are connected to the anus. Once through the sphincter, the cock is in the bowels. However its not normally called boweling when anal sex is proposed. I admit that may be a shitty pun.
Sounds like anal sex to me.
Sorry, I didn't fully explain. It was an oral sex scene. It's a long way to go from the mouth to the lower intestines!
Sorry, I didn't fully explain. It was an oral sex scene.
Well .... Excuuuuuse You! That puts an entirely different perspective on things, don't it! Sheesh ,,, screwups like that are a lot to swallow.
Well .... Excuuuuuse You! That puts an entirely different perspective on things, don't it! Sheesh ,,, screwups like that are a lot to swallow.
The problem is that the meaning was clear in the story. I just didn't include enough in the single sentence to clearly identify the context.
By the way, not to nit, but ellipses consist of three (and only three) dots (that's dots, not commas or exclamations).
I've got one author friend who keeps insisting on using his own punctuation, mixing commas, spaces and em-dashes, which aren't comprehensible by anyone, and which his Word Processor converts into en-dashes because of the extra spaces (i.e. ", --").
I've been point out why that doesn't work, but he keeps doing it. Still, I hope to convert him to the light side of grammar, rather than the dark.
That's alright. You did it .... anyway!
Hey, we're writers. Our entire lives revolve around grammar and punctuation, so we take it seriously, even when we realize we're overreacting to momentary oversights.
so we take it seriously, even when we realize we're overreacting to momentary oversights.
Noted. At my age I've mellowed sufficiently to accept that some things aren't worth getting excited about, and those few things that should be cause for concern are largely ignored or disputed.
Also, there's great opportunity for mischief and immense satisfaction in tweaking noses and breaking rules. An elderly painter, Grandma Moses, shocked the prim'n'proper art world with her primitive style, contrary to all accepted norms of art fashion. (Hey! I was alive to see it when she did it! Hooray!) She became famous. That was fitting payback for the art snobs of the day.
I stopped getting excited about proper punctuation and other nits the day I saw that most so-called style guides rarely agreed on such things.
Life is too short and what remains should be spent creating, even if it leads to coloring outside the lines.
(Or did you have a bone to pick with e.e.cummings?)
FATHER DEAR. BE, YOUR FATHER-GOOD AND GOOD,
HE IS GOOD NOW, IT IS NOT GOOD TO SEE IT RAIN,
FATHER DEAR IS, IT, DEAR, NO FATHER DEAR,
LOVE, YOU DEAR,
ESTLIN.
(e.e. cummings letter to his father at age six, fore-shadowing his creative adult life. Would we be the poorer for it if he hadn't "colored outside the lines?")
Cummings would be a good name for a writer of erotica. We already have a writer whose pseudonym initials are E. E.
Comma and Coma are spelled almost the same. Talk too much about commas and I go into a coma.
Cummings would be a good name for a writer of erotica.
It is. He did. Coma long to WikiPeed'ya.
It is. He did. Coma long to WikiPeed'ya.
Next you'll be singing: Comma, Comma Comma, chameleon.
Sorry, I didn't fully explain. It was an oral sex scene.
Painlessly? Assuming the guy is long enough to reach the stomach (horse maybe?), that would be awful painful for him, stomach acid is fairly strong stuff. I don't know about you, but even if I was that well endowed, I wouldn't want to go there.
Plus, how long is this taking to get that far in. The person getting face fucked wouldn't be able to breath with more than an inch or so of cock in the throat.
No, but it's amusing to wonder about.
And it's insightful how a passage the author thinks is inspired becomes an embarrassment, simply because they didn't closely examine exactly what they wrote.
"The man's cock easily made its way into her bowels with very little pain."
"Long and thin, slips right in.
Short and thick, does the trick".
Looks like long and thin at work here. Or she's one of those that can fit a champagne bottle up her arse, blunt end fist. Or the one that can fit all of a 4 foot, wrist thick, dildo up there.
That's the problem with the internet; once you've seen something you can't un-see it.
My eyes! MY EYES!
