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No Bad Sex in 2020

awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

The Literary Review's annual 'Bad Sex Award' has been cancelled because of Covid :-(

AJ

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Crumbly Writer ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

The Literary Review's annual 'Bad Sex Award' has been cancelled because of Covid

It's hard to have "Bad Sex" when no one is having ANY at all. But, on a related note, there have been a few 'advice' pieces for those not willing to 'abstain' for the duration (as well as many marriage breaking up permanently because of the strains imposed by Covid). The one thing they all suggest (though few can implement, due to the physical constrains of apartment living or the underlying physical structures, is to build Glory Holes. Since transmission is primarily though the air, rather than touch, most suggest that even long-term husbands/wives, girlfriends and/or boyfriends NOT breathe on each other, but simply hump away at the (hopefully carefully hidden away) hold-in-the-wall.

Now, that's a bad story just waiting to be written!

I can see it now "Covid-19 2020 Glory Hole (at Mom & Dad's house)".

Switch Blayde ๐Ÿšซ

@Crumbly Writer

It's hard to have "Bad Sex"

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

Replies:   Radagast
Radagast ๐Ÿšซ

@Switch Blayde

A golf course is a waste of a perfectly good rifle range. Feel an unnatural urge to batter a poor round ball so badly that if flees hundreds of yards and hides in a hole? Just go shooting. None of that uncivilized walking required.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Radagast

A golf course is a waste of a perfectly good rifle range.

That is incredibly naive. Don't you know how many government and business deals take place on golf courses?

AJ

Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

That is incredibly naive. Don't you know how many government and business deals take place on golf courses?

You say that like you think it's a good thing.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Dominions Son

You say that like you think it's a good thing.

It would definitely be an improvement if the government officials and businessmen bribing them were shooting at each other with live ammo.

AJ

Replies:   BlacKnight
BlacKnight ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

It would definitely be an improvement if the government officials and businessmen bribing them were shooting at each other with live ammo.

So you're a fan of Dick Cheney, then.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@BlacKnight

So you're a fan of Dick

Sorry, I'm strictly hetero.

AJ

Crumbly Writer ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

So you're a fan of Dick

Sorry, I'm strictly hetero.

So am I, but I'm still a fan of Dick, as they're my hero. Yeah dick! Go boy, go!

I like to encourage mine every chance I get. Otherwise, he pouts, curls into a ball and won't talk to anyone, and it takes a lot of poking and prodding to get him to come out into the sunshine once again. Sometimes, I even have to yank him out of his hidey hole in my underwear!

BlacKnight ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

Sorry, I'm strictly hetero.

You don't have to be gay for Dick to fire a load in your face.

Crumbly Writer ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

That is incredibly naive. Don't you know how many government and business deals take place on golf courses?

And just think how much faster all those businesses would operate if those individuals were standing in an open firing range. It might just remake the entire industries!

bk69 ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

government and business deals take place on golf courses

So not only would they make excellent rifle ranges, they'd also be target-rich environments? Even more reason to go shooting on them.

Replies:   Akarge
Akarge ๐Ÿšซ

@bk69

It would help cure excess population, and thus reduce the global carbon footprint.

Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@Crumbly Writer

Since transmission is primarily though the air, rather than touch, most suggest that even long-term husbands/wives, girlfriends and/or boyfriends NOT breathe on each other, but simply hump away at the (hopefully carefully hidden away) hold-in-the-wall.

I can see it now, the husband is humping away at the glory hole when his wife walks up behind him and asks him what he's doing.

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Crumbly Writer ๐Ÿšซ

@Dominions Son

I can see it now, the husband is humping away at the glory hole when his wife walks up behind him and asks him what he's doing.

Or their son. "Don't worry, Mom, it's no one we know. We've never even seen each other!"
"Don't worry," her husband said, "I'll check out who it is."

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@Crumbly Writer

Adding to my original

I can see it now, the husband is humping away at the glory hole when his wife walks up behind him and asks him what he's doing.

The husband startled by his wife backs away from the home glory hole. A few minutes later their 15 year old daughter comes out of the other room wearing only a long t-shirt and asks where her boyfriend went.

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