Forum: Author Hangout

Guidelines for regional dialects/accents?

PotomacBob 🚫

Regional and other dialects/accents? Should an author use them in dialogue? The most common ones I've seen used on the stories I've read on SOL are for what I'd call Hillbilly or Southern Appalachian characters. I suspect that what is written is an exaggerated portrayal of what a character from that area would actually say. If an author decides to use dialects or to spell the accents phonetically, should the author use it for all characters, regardless of what region the characters come from?
Does anybody have actual guidelines they follow (or try to) in using phonetic accents or regional dialects? (American or non-American).
Personally, as a reader, I like for the author to tell me as much about characters as practical, including the way they talk. I dislike it when I think the author is using phonetic accents to show how much smarter the author thinks he is than the characters he is writing about.
When I was a kid, I was taught, "there ain't no such word as ain't." Today, just about all the dictionaries I've used include an entry for ain't. One of them has an entry that says something along the lines of "In the South, ain't is used by even the mostly highly educated people in speech and writing." That's not verbatim (in spite of the quotation marks), but it's close.

Replies: Switch Blayde irvmull StarFleet Carl Mushroom irvmull Remus2 Uther_Pendragon

Switch Blayde 🚫
Updated:

@PotomacBob

If I had the ear for dialects I'd probably use them. But I don't.

Ask me to say something with a cockney accent and I'd have no idea how to say it, so if I can't hear it in my head I can't spell it. Same with a Boston accent and even a NY accent which people say I still have.

Read Mark Twain for something written in a dialect.

irvmull 🚫
Updated:

@PotomacBob

The most common ones I've seen used on the stories I've read on SOL are for what I'd call Hillbilly or Southern Appalachian characters.

If you go back to the early 1950's, prior to tv being available in the backwoods, people did speak with a pronounced accent.

That's faded away, due to tv and "flatland touristers" (see Lil' Abner) moving to the hills.

So a lot depends on the era in which your story is set.

Nevertheless, people still like to revert to that way of speaking given certain social situations, just for fun or to show they can "fit in". Beer helps.

The problem arises when a writer uses dialect that he/she hasn't actually heard used in real life. That can ruin a story. The only real guidelines are your ears.

One of the reasons you don't see a lot of NYC dialects used in written material is because every third word begins with an F.

BTW: ain't was an acceptable word, used in 18th and 19th century novels by ladies and gentlemen in England and Scotland. Many of the immigrants who populated the Appalachian region came here during that period and from that area of the world.

Replies: Mushroom Dominions Son Dominions Son

Mushroom 🚫

@irvmull

If you go back to the early 1950's, prior to tv being available in the backwoods, people did speak with a pronounced accent.

Oh, it's still found quite a lot. Especially in words used.

How "creek" is pronounced, the use of "soda" or "pop", even what we call Interstates can tell a lot about where somebody is from.

Myself, when I am in California I just say the freeway number (or on occasion "the freeway name"). "I'm gonna take the 10 to the San Diego, then the 91 until I get to my destination."

An outsider though would say it more like "I am gonna take I-10 to I-405, then State 91 until I get to my destination."

I even covered that in one of my stories. How a guy moving to LA was told he stood out because he was saying things completely different than how the locals did it. And when I moved to Alabama, people looked at me funny when I said I was going to "the 10".

That would be how it goes in California. But in other areas, I would say "I-405" or "Interstate 10" (without "the" in front of the name). Basically when I move to an area I just adopt how they say it and go from there. But just saying "the number" by itself is a uniquely "California" thing to do.

And since I live just north of the California-Oregon border now, I hear both "the 5" and "I-5" used about equally.

Replies: irvmull

irvmull 🚫
Updated:

@Mushroom

How "creek" is pronounced, the use of "soda" or "pop", even what we call Interstates can tell a lot about where somebody is from.

Yep. In Ga, there is no soda, and pop is your father, granddad, or just some random old guy.

You want a cold drink? It's a Coke, even if Pepsi makes it.

Really old mountain folk used to call it a "dope".

And even though I've been away from So. Cal. for nearly 40 years, when I hear "the 405" I still get a case of nerves.

Replies: Mushroom PotomacBob Mushroom

Mushroom 🚫
Updated:

@irvmull

And even though I've been away from So. Cal. for nearly 40 years, when I hear "the 405" I still get a case of nerves.

Yea, 40 years ago "the 405" would have been almost exclusively an LA thing. Just like a "Sigalert". Once that was LA only, but you now hear it used on the Sacramento and San Francisco Bay area on radio stations, something you did not hear 30 years ago.

And as an FYI, a "SigAlert" is a traffic warning given on the radio stations, normally of a closure or accident causing traffic problems. Named after Loyd Sigmon, a broadcaster who invented a system for the LAPD to give out such warnings to all local radio stations in 1955. The system was taken over in around 1970 when the CHP took over from the LAPD, but the name stuck. And has since spread to the rest of the state.

Of course, you also know California is insane because it has a "San Diego Freeway" which does not go to San Diego, and a "Hollywood Freeway" that does not go to Hollywood.

At least in the Bay Area, they frequently say both, like "The 880 - Nimitz", but they will still call another the "I-80 - Eastshore Freeway". So it is still in a transition from the older/more conventional way of naming local freeways, but each year seems to be more closely following how it is done in LA.

Replies: richardshagrin

richardshagrin 🚫

@Mushroom

Of course, you also know California is insane

True. And it is creeping eastward and northward. Maybe galloping. They elected an actor governor and then President. Ronald and Donald are both strange names for a President. George, John, Thomas, maybe Abraham, those are names for Presidents. Ronald is a butler and Donald is a Duck.

PotomacBob 🚫

@irvmull

Really old mountain folk used to call it a "dope".

Some not-so-old mountain folk still do.

Mushroom 🚫

@irvmull

Yep. In Ga, there is no soda, and pop is your father, granddad, or just some random old guy.

You want a cold drink? It's a Coke, even if Pepsi makes it.

I would suspect that is more an "Atlanta area" thing, to be honest. In the Tri-State area, "pop" was much more common. Of course, that region always seemed more closely tied to Alabama than Georgia.

Replies: Switch Blayde

Switch Blayde 🚫

@Mushroom

I would suspect that is more an "Atlanta area" thing

Because Coke is headquartered in Atlanta?

Replies: Mushroom

Mushroom 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Because Coke is headquartered in Atlanta?

Yep, and was invented there. I traveled a lot in the SW area of the state, and never heard that as slang for a soda there.

However, it is not unusual to hear "Coke" used as a term when ordering a soda. Probably because that is by far the dominant soda available at restaurants. Even more so since their successful 1980's trade magazine ad.

Replies: richardshagrin

richardshagrin 🚫

@Mushroom

Coke

"Coca-Cola
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is about the beverage. For its manufacturer, see The Coca-Cola Company.
"Coca-Cola Classic" redirects here. For the college football game, see Coca-Cola Classic (college football). For the golf tournament, see Coca-Cola Classic (golf).
Coca-Cola
Coca-Cola logo - see "Logo design" section
Coca-Cola bottle - see "Contour bottle design" section
Coca-Cola has retained many of its historical design features in modern glass bottles
Type Cola
Manufacturer The Coca-Cola Company
Country of origin United States
Introduced May 8, 1886; 134 years ago
Color Caramel E-150d
Variants
Diet Coke
Diet Coke Caffeine-Free
Caffeine-Free Coca-Cola
Coca-Cola Zero Sugar
Coca-Cola Cherry
Coca-Cola Vanilla
Coca-Cola Citra
Coca-Cola Life
Coca-Cola Mango
Related products Pepsi
RC Cola
Afri-Cola
Postobón
Inca Kola
Kola Real
Cavan Cola
Website coca-cola.com
Coca-Cola, or Coke, is a carbonated soft drink manufactured by The Coca-Cola Company. Originally marketed as a temperance drink and intended as a patent medicine, it was invented in the late 19th century by John Stith Pemberton and was bought out by businessman Asa Griggs Candler, whose marketing tactics led Coca-Cola to its dominance of the world soft-drink market throughout the 20th century.[1] The drink's name refers to two of its original ingredients: coca leaves, and kola nuts (a source of caffeine). The current formula of Coca-Cola remains a trade secret; however, a variety of reported recipes and experimental recreations have been published.

The Coca-Cola Company produces concentrate, which is then sold to licensed Coca-Cola bottlers throughout the world. The bottlers, who hold exclusive territory contracts with the company, produce the finished product in cans and bottles from the concentrate, in combination with filtered water and sweeteners. A typical 12-US-fluid-ounce (350 ml) can contains 38 grams (1.3 oz) of sugar (usually in the form of high-fructose corn syrup). The bottlers then sell, distribute, and merchandise Coca-Cola to retail stores, restaurants, and vending machines throughout the world. The Coca-Cola Company also sells concentrate for soda fountains of major restaurants and foodservice distributors.

The Coca-Cola Company has on occasion introduced other cola drinks under the Coke name. The most common of these is Diet Coke, along with others including Caffeine-Free Coca-Cola, Diet Coke Caffeine-Free, Coca-Cola Zero Sugar, Coca-Cola Cherry, Coca-Cola Vanilla, and special versions with lemon, lime, and coffee. Coca-Cola was called Coca-Cola Classic from July 1985 to 2009, to distinguish it from "New Coke". Based on Interbrand's "best global brand" study of 2015, Coca-Cola was the world's third most valuable brand, after Apple and Google.[2] In 2013, Coke products were sold in over 200 countries worldwide, with consumers drinking more than 1.8 billion company beverage servings each day.[3] Coca-Cola ranked No. 87 in the 2018 Fortune 500 list of the largest United States corporations by total revenue.[4]

Dominions Son 🚫

@irvmull

Beer helps.

Is having your friend hold your beer involved?

Replies: irvmull

irvmull 🚫

@Dominions Son

Is having your friend hold your beer involved?

Yah sure you betcha! = snowmobile pileup imminent.
Yee Hah! = 4-wheeler rollover a near certainty.
Hey y'all, Watch dis! = explosives may be involved.

Dominions Son 🚫

@irvmull

One of the reasons you don't see a lot of NYC dialects used in written material is because every third word begins with an F.

And ends with a K.

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@PotomacBob

The most common ones I've seen used on the stories I've read on SOL are for what I'd call Hillbilly or Southern Appalachian characters.

While it sounds likes it's spelled yawl, it's spelled y'all. And then, there's all y'all. The reason some of the stereotypes exist in writing is that sometimes, there's no exaggeration.

I grew up in rural mid-southern Indiana. There's a difference in accents and dialects from where I grew up to where I worked for 25 years, which is mid-northern Indiana. Same state. My wife always hated it when we'd go down to visit my Dad, because it'd take me a week to talk right again. That's just in one state.

Now that I'm Oklahoma, it's almost amusing, the difference between what someone who lives here in the OKC metro sounds like, versus when someone comes into town from somewhere like Guymon or Mangum. Mind you, it's 265 miles from Guymon to here, but that's only 4 hours driving time - which gives you an idea of how people drive here.

So, yeah, there's lots of dialects and accents out there. Ain't no big deal.

Replies: bk69 Freyrs_stories

bk69 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

that's only 4 hours driving time -

I woulda thought three hours

Replies: StarFleet Carl

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@bk69

I woulda thought three hours

Too many speed traps (aka small towns) to go through between here and there.

Freyrs_stories 🚫
Updated:

@StarFleet Carl

If i remember right Yawl is a boat

Mushroom 🚫

@PotomacBob

Regional and other dialects/accents? Should an author use them in dialogue?

Sure, so long as you are comfortable doing such. I do it all the time, and quite often have fun with it.

American South, how Japanese and Eastern Europeans speak English, even other dialects I use all the time if it is appropriate. Of course, it also helps that I have lived in or worked with many, so have learned to pick up some of these ways of speech.

irvmull 🚫

Regarding dialects:

Back in the early '60s, I worked in a camera store in the deep south. Around Christmas, we were inundated with customers getting last-minute gifts. All the salespeople were tied up with customers, while two warehouse guys were unloading more supplies. The phone is ringing, and one of the guys says "Ya'll wants me to git dat?"

He picks up the phone, and in a perfect upper-class British accent, says "Good afternoon, Frye's. How may I help you?" ... "Certainly sir, if you will hold for a moment, I will check."

Then he turns toward the back room, and yells "Yo, Leroy! We gots any dem Luxus-Tragetasches lef'?"

Leroy replies "Dey's two".

Back on the phone: "Indeed we do, sir, would you like for me to reserve one for you?" again, with Downton Abbey butler aplomb. "I shall see to it personally, and thank you for calling."

By that time, salespeople and customers alike are looking at him, somewhat surprised. He just shrugged,"You gots to speak dey language."

*Luxus-Tragetasche = deluxe carrying case, made by Carl Zeiss and surprisingly expensive.

Moral of the story: don't assume that because someone speaks with a regional accent, they are ignorant, backward, or uneducated.

irvmull 🚫

@PotomacBob

If an author decides to use dialects or to spell the accents phonetically, should the author use it for all characters, regardless of what region the characters come from?

Yes. To do otherwise is prejudicial. Unfortunately, many other dialects (except for SoCal Airhead) are more difficult to portray in written form.

Replies: Mushroom

Mushroom 🚫

@irvmull

Yes. To do otherwise is prejudicial. Unfortunately, many other dialects (except for SoCal Airhead) are more difficult to portray in written form.

Well, that depends. A great many areas really do not have much of a dialect as much as an accent. And that can be hard to portray in the written form.

I particularly have fun with "immigrant dialects". Transposing word orders, leaving some words out completely, even things like slipping into third person are common, and I think make such dialect fun to write.

"You, to the store go now."
"Annie sorry she not able be to dinner with you tonight."
"Cocksucker! Sonbitch say he not have money. He think I know not better?"
Yo holmes! Your ride bitching! Where you get it, man?"
"You think should I sound like character from Simpsons? You want Slurpee with that?"

Quite a few who are familiar with how certain groups "mangle" the language might even be able to pick those groups out from what I wrote. But as I normally describe or give a hint where somebody is from, it is normally not hard to provide the appropriate accent also.

And as an FYI, the last quote is from a guy I used to work with. Born in California of parents from India, he looked like he just got off a train in a Bollywood musical. Yet, he had a perfectly natural "California Surfer" accent. And we would sometimes hang out, and he loved when people did a double-take when they would see his complexion then hear his voice. And he would deliver it in a perfect "Apu accent", which often cracked people up (which was his intent).

But yes, the "California airhead" or "Valley Girl" is as much attitude and knowing the vocabulary than anything else. But it helps more knowing it should be given in a whiney monotone, with just a touch of "JAP" thrown in.

"Like, ohmygod! Like, this is a total bummer, ya know? She is like a total Joanie, hitting on that bodacious hunk with the tubular buns. But like barf me out if he thinks a Betty like me will get bagged by him now, like fer sure!"

And I find it funny that every decade or so, for some reason this language tries to pop up again (normally because of a movie), only to fade back again. I still remember being thrown into "The Valley" at the height of that craze, and being totally confused by it.

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@PotomacBob

If you wish to hear modern versions of Southern Appalachians speaking, watch a few episodes of Moonshiners.

You will note a few of those personalities required caption translations.

Replies: irvmull StarFleet Carl

irvmull 🚫

@Remus2

If you wish to hear modern versions of Southern Appalachians speaking, watch a few episodes of Moonshiners.

You will note a few of those personalities required caption translations.

It ain't an accent, it's the result of frequent product testing.

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫

@irvmull

It ain't an accent, it's the result of frequent product testing.

Then all of us from the Appalachians have participated in that product testing... wait..

Never mind

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Remus2

You will note a few of those personalities required caption translations.

They've done the same thing with 'The Secret of Oak Island', with that blacksmith. I haven't had much of a problem understanding him, but his accent is pretty thick.

samsonjas 🚫

I like accents in characters.

Imagine Hagrid without the accent :(

Uther_Pendragon 🚫

@PotomacBob

Respelling words "the way those people pronounce them" is an arrogant claim that the author's accent is real English while the character speaks some inferior brand.
Vocabulary is another matter.
"Ain't" began as a contraction of "am not."

Replies: Dominions Son bk69 PotomacBob

Dominions Son 🚫

@Uther_Pendragon

"Ain't" began as a contraction of "am not."

So, where does the "i" come from?

Replies: irvmull

irvmull 🚫
Updated:

@Dominions Son

So, where does the "i" come from?

"Ain't has had an unusual history. It's a shortened form of several words--am not, are not, is not, has not and have not. It appears in written English in the 18th century in various plays and novels, first as an't and then as ain't." - David Crystal

You can see why an't wouldn't work so well, especially when spoken:

"An't that an ant on you, aunt Annie?"

As to why an 'i' was picked, who knows? Try some other letters and see if there's an easier one to pronounce.

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@irvmull

Try some other letters and see if there's an easier one to pronounce.

No thanks.

bk69 🚫

@Uther_Pendragon

Respelling words "the way those people pronounce them"

But obviously 'those people' are inferior.

PotomacBob 🚫

@Uther_Pendragon

Respelling words "the way those people pronounce them" is an arrogant claim that the author's accent is real English while the character speaks some inferior brand.
Vocabulary is another matter.

That's my concern. How does a 1st person main character narrator show the accents and odd-to-modern-ears words without making it sound like a put-down of loved ones.

irvmull 🚫
Updated:

The inventor of Coca-Cola, J.S. "Doc" Pemberton died broke and addicted to morphine.

It's almost certain that my great grandfather knew him - and passed up a chance to invest in Coke.

Just like my grandfather laughed at Henry Flagler when he tried to convince him to invest in Florida swamp land.

Damit.

Replies: Eddie Davidson

Eddie Davidson 🚫

@irvmull

The Hillbilly stories are simply unreadable to me. They are over the top. The way that Americans write lovable Cockney characters too "Oi, Guv'nr, Wut 'ave we got 'ere? Wut Wut, a looks like the old Chutney is being pulled o'ver me eyes, by my ol' Mucker..Oi, blimey."

I agree with the OP that I want to know about the character and not struggle with the accent to understand them. The assumption being in the Hillbilly stories is that they are comfortable with incest/sexually very hungry and not very bright is also a terrible stereotype.

Not every hillbilly is that way - probably only one in three. ;)

(JOKING!)

The accent should be just that - something to provide flavor and not to struggle with. When you cook and you use a spice it shouldn't be to overpower the dish. It should be to accent the dish.

The same is true of dialogue imho.

I like to include things that people of a certain culture may relate too in my stories. I take the risk that someone who isn't familiar with it won't google to find out what this particular song or cuisine etc is.

So I try to embed an explanation in the details (to show/not tell) the reader if they don't check Google when possible/if the detail is salient to the plot. If its just flavor then I usually leave it be. As an example, I wrote a story set in India and researched the LOCAL vegetables. Vegetables vary by region - so I checked those. I researched the LOCAL language instead of Hindi and wrote some words in that langauge but tried to convey meaning through inference and actions.

My opinion is the role of colliquial/regional dialogue should play is like a costume - it helps define the character to the audience without confusing them or making it a pain to read the story.

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@Eddie Davidson

The assumption being in the Hillbilly stories is that they are comfortable with incest/sexually very hungry and not very bright is also a terrible stereotype.

Not every hillbilly is that way - probably only one in three. ;)

Yes it is a terrible stereotype. One that isn't even remotely accurate. Especially the not very bright part.

I've found that every geographic area has their own share of stupid people.

Judging intelligence by vocal/speech patterns is a bit on the stupid side imo. Example: I have a friend from the Bronx that has a very heavy inner city black speech pattern. If you didn't know him, you'd think he was dumber than a box of rocks to hear him speak. That is until you went in his office and saw the three masters degrees he has hanging on the wall, along with a myriad of technical certifications.

I know some hillbillies that have an accent so deep that even I struggle at times with, and I grew up with it. All of which have one or more masters or better degrees.

What they share in common is that they all let the ignorant people hang themselves. Once the noose is set, their voice patterns go flat with zero accent detectable.

The same applies for appearance. Coveralls and a old beat up truck does not mean they are poor or ignorant.

Replies: StarFleet Carl

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Remus2

The same applies for appearance. Coveralls and a old beat up truck does not mean they are poor or ignorant.

Two things come to mind regarding this.

A 1979 Ford F-150 base model, manual transmission with four wheel drive, that was liable to have a dog in the back (or in the cab) and a shotgun in it at any time. An older, white haired man, who was comfortable with bib overalls on. Asking someone what they thought about shopping inside a store. His name? Sam Walton.

Eight years of selling new cars in Oklahoma before I changed careers. More than once I've seen people pull in in beat up trucks, wearing overalls. They'd buy two or three cars at a time, for their farms. One guy landed a helicopter in the empty field behind the store so he could buy a truck we had on the lot - he was flying from one of his stores in northern Oklahoma to another in southern Oklahoma.

Eddie Davidson 🚫

I should clarify that while I'm southern, I don't consider myself a hillbilly.

I definitely agree that every region has stupid people btw. That is pretty evident.

Replies: Dominions Son bk69 richardshagrin

Dominions Son 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

I should clarify that while I'm southern, I don't consider myself a hillbilly.

You probably wouldn't be. The vast majority of southerners are not hillbillies.

To be a proper hillbilly, you'd have to be from Appalachia or the Ozarks. Though the term was later used for people in other mountain regions west of the Mississippi river.

Replies: Remus2 PotomacBob

Remus2 🚫

@Dominions Son

https://www.etymonline.com/word/hillbilly#etymonline_v_12010

PotomacBob 🚫

@Dominions Son

To be a proper hillbilly, you'd have to be from Appalachia or the Ozarks

Could someone who lives in the Appalachians in New York or Maine be a hillbilly?

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@PotomacBob

Could someone who lives in the Appalachians in New York or Maine be a hillbilly?

Maine, no. The region known as Appalachia doesn't cover the entire Appalacian mountain range, it only goes as far north as the southern tier of New York State.

As for what is likely to be the fairly small population in the overlap between New York and Appalachia, I don't know.

To say you have to be Appalachian to be a hillbilly doesn't necessarily imply that every Appalachian is a hillbilliy.

Replies: PotomacBob

PotomacBob 🚫

@Dominions Son

To say you have to be Appalachian to be a hillbilly doesn't necessarily imply that every Appalachian is a hillbilliy.

What more does it take to be a hillbilly than living in the hills (mountains)? Have to be like Snuffy Smith?

Replies: Dominions Son Remus2 irvmull

Dominions Son 🚫

@PotomacBob

What more does it take to be a hillbilly than living in the hills (mountains)?

There is a certain culture to it.

Remus2 🚫

@PotomacBob

If you've ever hiked the AP trail, you would find all the people along the trail (towns, etc) are all the same minus accents.

Replies: PotomacBob

PotomacBob 🚫

@Remus2

If you've ever hiked the AP trail, you would find all the people along the trail (towns, etc) are all the same minus accents.

Maine to Alabama?

Replies: Remus2 palamedes

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@PotomacBob

Alabama doesn't have any part of the Appalachian Trail. It would be N.E. Georgia to S.W. Maine.

You may have been thinking of the Cumberland Plateau/Cumberland Trail, which does touch on Alabama, through Tennessee, into the Tri-state area of Tennessee/Virginia/Kentucky. It's not the same as the AP.

As for the AP, yes, the people of the Appalachians have a shared culture. One that has survived despite the snowflakes that have moved into some of the areas.

palamedes 🚫

@PotomacBob

hiked the AP trail

The Appalachian Trail goes between Springer Mountain, Georgia to Mount Katahdin, Maine for a distance of 2,200 miles (3,500 km). I've done the North to South 2 times, the South to North 1 time and just because I'm crazy/nuts/ a few other things my friends have called me but not polite to say in public company the YO-YO once. The YO-YO is where you hike from one end to the other and then turn around and hike right back to where you started from in a single season. Karel Sabbe has the record last I looked at 41 days, 7 hours, 39 minutes in 2018.

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫

@palamedes

Karel Sabbe has the record last I looked at 41 days, 7 hours, 39 minutes in 2018.

That's impressive. It took me 62 days and change.

Replies: palamedes

palamedes 🚫

@Remus2

It took me 62 days and change.

Best I ever did was 67 days South to North and the YO-YO took me 151 days North to South back North would have loved to done it faster but sometimes Gia just isn't your friend.

irvmull 🚫

@PotomacBob

What more does it take to be a hillbilly than living in the hills (mountains)? Have to be like Snuffy Smith?

If you know what ramps are, and where to find 'em, and eat a mess of 'em every spring, that's a sign.

If gathering and selling 'sang is a major contributor to your Christmas fund, that's a sign.

If you know how to survive when all the stores are empty - you might be a hillbilly or maybe a redneck.

If you know the stores are empty, and you don't care, you are a hillbilly, not a redneck.

If you think the government is here to help you, you definitely are NOT a hillbilly.

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫

@irvmull

If you think the government is here to help you, you definitely are NOT a hillbilly.

Hadn't heard that one. lol

Replies: Eddie Davidson

Eddie Davidson 🚫

@Remus2

The friendly corporations without any restrictions are the ones that are out there to help us. Anyone who's ever dealt with their cable company knows that that's much more preferable to gobbermont

Replies: irvmull

irvmull 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

The friendly corporations without any restrictions are the ones that are out there to help us. Anyone who's ever dealt with their cable company knows that that's much more preferable to gobbermont

That's basically true, because if they do nothing helpful or what they supply is not worth the cost, people will eventually stop paying them - see the landline phone companies.

Government, on the other hand, doesn't let you stop paying, they extract however much they want whether you need their services or not.

bk69 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

I should clarify that while I'm southern, I don't consider myself a hillbilly.

Southerners are far more likely to be rednecks than hillbillies. But then, anyone from a rural background can qualify as a redneck.

Replies: PotomacBob

PotomacBob 🚫

@bk69

But then, anyone from a rural background can qualify as a redneck.

what does it take to qualify? Have anything to do with gun racks in the pickup truck with a foxtail on the radio antenna?

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫

@PotomacBob

If your car is on blocks and your house is on wheels, you might be a redneck: Jeff Foxworthy

richardshagrin 🚫

@Eddie Davidson

I definitely agree that every region has stupid people

That probably isn't true of Antarctica. Nearly everyone there is on some sort of scientific mission. There are also support personnel who may not have college degrees but it seems unlikely to me they would be hired for that kind of work if they qualified as "stupid".

Replies: Remus2 Ernest Bywater awnlee jawking

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@richardshagrin

That probably isn't true of Antarctica. Nearly everyone there is on some sort of scientific mission. There are also support personnel who may not have college degrees but it seems unlikely to me they would be hired for that kind of work if they qualified as "stupid".

Years ago, I contracted with Ratheon Polar Services at a few of the stations down there. Just because they are scientists doesn't mean they can't be stupid. Then there are the support and security personnel.

Trying to pee in the snow at -107°F with a gale force wind isn't exactly bright. Dumb bastard spent four days in the infirmary after that.

Correction from C to F°

Replies: bk69 Dominions Son awnlee jawking

bk69 🚫

@Remus2

Trying to pee in the snow at -107°C with a gale force wind isn't exactly bright.

Did he tug on Superman's cape before he tried that?

Dominions Son 🚫

@Remus2

Trying to pee in the snow at -107°C with a gale force wind isn't exactly bright. Dumb bastard spent four days in the infirmary after that.

Ouch! Frostbite on the wiener.

Replies: irvmull

irvmull 🚫

@Dominions Son

Ouch! Frostbite on the wiener.

Don't shake it, you'll break it!

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Remus2

Trying to pee in the snow at -107°C with a gale force wind isn't exactly bright.

I vaguely remember a discussion about how pee can be the solution when bare flesh is stuck to extremely cold, bare metal. I think someone incorporated it into a story. I have no idea of title, author or location where it was posted.

AJ

Replies: Dominions Son Remus2 BarBar

Dominions Son 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I vaguely remember a discussion about how pee can be the solution when bare flesh is stuck to extremely cold, bare metal.

As long as raw temps aren't too low, because urine comes out at body temp (warm) and it can thaw the connection point.

However, if it gets cold enough, the urine itself will freeze too quickly to help.

Another caution on this is that if flesh gets cold enough, you can suffer burns from the body heat of another person.

I've read about cases of cold water swimmers who got in trouble and had to be pulled out suffering 1st and 2nd degree burns in the shape of hand prints where they were grabbed by rescuers.

Remus2 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I don't know the story you're referring to, but I do know it was specifically called out in training not to do something like that. That tells me it wasn't the first or second time something like that occurred.

For that matter, he wasn't even supposed to be outdoors in that weather, much less exposing himself. That level of cold is a killing cold. There was specific gear and training required of personnel who had to work in it. Neither of which he had.

At -107°F He's lucky he didn't lose more than just some skin off his dick and fingers.

Correction made in original post.

BarBar 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I vaguely remember a discussion about how pee can be the solution when bare flesh is stuck to extremely cold, bare metal.

For some reason, my weird brain connected that with the idea that periodically people get their tongue frozen to a metal pole because someone dared them to lick it. Then the pee ...

Replies: awnlee jawking bk69

awnlee jawking 🚫

@BarBar

We may have followed the same discussion ;-)

AJ

bk69 🚫

@BarBar

Same destination, but my thoughts went via the third best christmas movie ever (after Die Hard and Scrooged)... A Christmas Story.

Ernest Bywater 🚫

@richardshagrin

That probably isn't true of Antarctica. Nearly everyone there is on some sort of scientific mission. There are also support personnel who may not have college degrees but it seems unlikely to me they would be hired for that kind of work if they qualified as "stupid".

Staff selection for Antarctica is based on scientific knowledge as demonstrated in tests and papers while 'stupid' is demonstrated in real life activities. I very much doubt you'd be surprised with how many holders of high degrees in the sciences who've done some damn stupid things after saying, "here, hold my beer while I do this," then went off to prove exactly how stupid they can be.

Replies: bk69

bk69 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

"here, hold my beer while I do this,"

YM "Hold my beer, and watch this"
HTH, HAND

awnlee jawking 🚫

@richardshagrin

Depends on your definition of 'stupid'. Some of the world's most stupid people have armfuls of rote-learning degrees and zero real-life experience outside ivory towers.

AJ

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