Forum: Author Hangout

Sex now illegal in England

Switch Blayde 🚫

Having sex in your own home with someone from a different household is illegal from today, after the government altered its coronavirus legislation.

At 11.30am on Monday, a change to the law was introduced that bans two people from different households in England gathering in an indoor, private place during the coronavirus lockdown.

Human rights barrister Adam Wagner tweeted on Sunday: "I can't believe I'm about to tweet this.

"From tomorrow sex between two (or more) people in a private place who do not live in the same household is a 'gathering' between 2 or more people and is therefore illegal."

Replies: awnlee_jawking Dinsdale

Dinsdale 🚫

Boris Johnson: Do as I say, not as I do.

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@Dinsdale

Boris Johnson: Do as I say, not as I do.

You think Boris Johnson has sex?

Replies: Switch Blayde

Switch Blayde 🚫

@Dominions Son

You think Boris Johnson has sex?

Isn't that why his hair is always messed up?

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Isn't that why his hair is always messed up?

With that face, I'd have pegged him an incel.

awnlee_jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Having sex in your own home with someone from a different household is illegal from today, after the government altered its coronavirus legislation.

It was illegal since the start of the lockdown. Not that that stopped various government and opposite MPs and reality TV stars.

AJ

shaddoth1 🚫

in some towns in the US, it is both Illegal to wear a mask while driving and mandatory to do so due to a poorly worded recent ordinance.

the wearing mask law was an earlier attempt to get more funds from speeders with the automated cameras.

to my knowledge none of these conflicting laws have been removed or suspended.

Laws such as these are about control and cash.

I won't comment my thoguhts of these types of conflicts and the probable abuse likely to arise.

Shad

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫
Updated:

@shaddoth1

in some towns in the US, it is both Illegal to wear a mask while driving

In many US states, it's illegal for an adult to wear a mask in public driving or not. These mask bans are old, they go back to anti-Klan laws from the post Civil War era.

gruntsgt 🚫

It is also illegal to wear a mask and carry a firearm, so I carry my weapon and tell them to kiss my ass on a mask.

Remus2 🚫

https://mobile.twitter.com/UKStatsAuth/status/1267743490932387841

From reading that, there appears to be some monkey business going on regarding reporting of UK coronavirus information. Particularly between the ONS and DHSC.

In the opinion of UK members here, which them has the right of it?

Replies: awnlee jawking solreader50

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Remus2

No contest - the ONS.

AJ

Replies: joyR

joyR 🚫
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

No contest - the ONS.

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Obviously the Office for National Statistics, is without doubt and entirely creditable, after all, what is the statistical likelihood that they would be 'economical with the truth' or 'massage the figures with the best of intentions' ??

Anyone expecting a politician to present the unvarnished truth in simple terms...

Uhuh, two of you.. For the rest of us we know that the actual figures won't be released (willingly) and if leaked, without the sources used to generate them, they are useless.

Demanding to know how many people were tested, not how many tests were done is to ignore the need to test people several times, for example, those entering the quarantine for their mandatory two week isolation, no point testing them at the start, but not during and at the end of quarantine. The initial test might be too early to pick up that they'd become infected just prior to travelling. That won't stop either group demanding 'their' version be the one most relevant.

Oh, statistically speaking, six out of seven dwarves aren't happy...

solreader50 🚫

@Remus2

In the opinion of UK members here, which them has the right of it?

I'd just like to point out there are differing statistics for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as healthcare and public health are devolved matters and the four governments use differing methods of collecting statistics. There is quite a lot of discontent in Scotland about the England being conflated with the UK.

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫

@solreader50

There is quite a lot of discontent in Scotland about the England being conflated with the UK.

It's my understanding that the United Kingdom consist of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Is there something I'm missing?

Replies: Dinsdale Dominions Son

Dinsdale 🚫

@Remus2

He was saying that people are thinking UK = England, forget the rest.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Remus2

It's my understanding that the United Kingdom consist of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Is there something I'm missing?

Great Britain?

Replies: Keet

Keet 🚫

@Dominions Son

Great Britain vs United Kingdom (britannica.com)

Remus2 🚫

Thanks for the replies. I got the overall impression of back and forth finger pointing. Nothing unusual as far as politics goes.
The disturbing part to me was the apparent test count without care for any data trends that are helpful. Testing just so they can say they have x number of test done.

This is apparent elsewhere as well in the US, France, Russia, S.Korea, etc. But it was more obvious in the UK with them sniping at each other on twitter.

Dinsdale 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Now I'm back home I can add a link - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070450/ - although it is apparently not worth watching. Youtube seems to be carrying it, Amazon selling it.

joyR 🚫

This is both on and off topic.

Residents in several North Lincolnshire villages are beset with swarms of mating midges. One villager told how she resorted to using a vacuum cleaner on her ceiling.

"I tried sucking them off but they just kept coming"...

So now you know, when faced with swarms of mating midges, good housewives suck them off, and seemingly are very good at it.

:)

Link

irvmull 🚫
Updated:

That changed today.

Now, you can have sex with someone from a different household as long as you use a barrier between yourself and your partner. It is permissible (pretty much mandatory, I would say) to drill a hole thru which the necessary erm... connection can be made.

I think there are certain establishments that already provide this service, saving you the expense of patching the sheetrock afterward.

Replies: joyR awnlee jawking

joyR 🚫

@irvmull

It is permissible (pretty much mandatory, I would say) to drill a hole thru which the necessary erm... connection can be made.

Is it ok to drill two holes..?? Some of us enjoy '69'...

awnlee jawking 🚫

@irvmull

As a single person, I can now join another household's bubble, including hugging the other members.

Trouble is, I wouldn't want to be a member of a bubble that would want me. Unless it was for unlimited, gratuitous, heterosexual bonking. (No pans or toasters please!).

AJ

Replies: karactr Radagast

karactr 🚫

@awnlee jawking

What about pots or skillets?

Very bigoted of you, AJ.

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫

@karactr

Someone needs to intervene if he starts talking about a blender.

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@Remus2

Someone needs to intervene if he starts talking about a blender.

Would it be a gender blender or a food professor?

Replies: joyR

joyR 🚫

@Dominions Son

Would it be a gender blender or a food professor?

Beware the Magimix user, she's a witch..!!

:)

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@joyR

Beware the Magimix user, she's a witch..!!

Which witch is she?

Replies: joyR

joyR 🚫

@Dominions Son

Which witch is she?

The one with a bun in the coven.

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@joyR

The one with a bun in the coven.

Is it a boil or a ghoul?

Replies: joyR

joyR 🚫

@Dominions Son

Is it a boil or a ghoul?

If it was a boil, he'd be called Lance.

As it's a ghoul, she's named Nimuë.

:)

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@joyR

As it's a ghoul, she's named Nimuë.

An ambitious name for a young witch.

Replies: joyR

joyR 🚫

@Dominions Son

An ambitious name for a young witch.

Indeed, not for the Fey hearted.

Radagast 🚫

@awnlee jawking

So the idea of joining a bubble makes you squeak?
The requirement for a barrier suggests that glory holes are now the only legal form of sex in Least Britain.
The anorak brigade must be feeling exceptionally smug right now.
Has tweeting against glory holes been made an offense against public order yet? If not it will be by the end of the week.

irvmull 🚫

Serious question: I've heard of "bubble and squeak" as an English specialty.

Is this what we're talking about here?

Replies: joyR

joyR 🚫

@irvmull

Is this what we're talking about here?

No.

Replies: irvmull

irvmull 🚫

@joyR

Sorry, upon further perusal of this thread, I see you're talking about buns, blenders, and food processors.

So, obviously I've blundered into a discussion about kinky sex. Now what about the possible uses of bubble and squeak mentioned by @Radagast ? Anyone?

Replies: richardshagrin

richardshagrin 🚫

@irvmull

bubble and squeak

"Bubble and squeak is a traditional British breakfast dish made from potatoes and cabbage. ... The dish is so named because the cabbage makes bubbling and squeaking sounds during the cooking process."

irvmull 🚫

The cabbage makes bubbling and squeaking sounds during the cooking process."

Yes, but I was most interested (in a purely academic way, you understand) in how this relates to Boris Johnson and glory holes. Does it have anything to do with the sound? Thanks in advance.

Replies: joyR

joyR 🚫

@irvmull

how this relates to Boris Johnson

It doesn't. Given the method of cooking, it could relate to Stephen Fry...

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Sex now illegal in England

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