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Calling All Aussies! Time to Start Sinking the Boot In

Ross at Play

Have any other Aussies noticed a cricket team from the "traditional enemy" is touring our fair land.
After three tests of a five-match series the score is running at three crushing victories to the home team, versus pathetic whimpering from the "opposition".
The margins of victory have been 10 wickets, 120 runs, and an innings and 41 runs.
The hopeless losers started out okay in the last test: they won the toss, chose to bat on a perfect wicket, and cruised to over 300 for the loss of only four wickets at stumps on day one. Somehow??? They still conspired to lose by more than an innings!
I know that AJ is anxious to hear the opinions of Aussies on the subject. Are there any other Poms who frequent here and deserve a bit of "cheering up".
Come on guys. Time for a bit of Aussie-style sledging, I think.

Replies:   Zom  Bondi Beach
Zom

@Ross at Play

Poms who frequent here and deserve a bit of "cheering up"

I suspect the Poms need to find a captain that knows what he is doing. It might not fix the problem but it would ameliorate it. Some pace bowlers could help too.

richardshagrin
Updated:

In this context a "Pom" seems to be a Briton (a native of the part of Great Britain known as England.) At first I thought is meant Porn with the r and n combined. It took some research, there are more than 57 acronyms that are POMS.

"What does POMS stand for?

Your abbreviation search returned 15 meanings

Link/Page Citation

Category Filters

All definitions (15)

Information Technology (0)

Military & Government (5)

Science & Medicine (2)

Organizations, Schools, etc. (3)

Business & Finance (5)

Slang, Chat & Pop culture (2)

Sort results: alphabetical | rank ?

Rank Abbr. Meaning

POMS Patrol Order Management System

POMS Property Owners and Managers Survey

POMS Profile of Mood Status

POMS Performance Outcome Management System (health care database)

POMS Port Operations Management System

POMS Parents Over My Shoulder (chat)

POMS Polar Operational Meteorological Satellite

POMS Program Objective Memorandum System

POMS Performance Operations Management System

POMS Pilgrim Overseas Missionary Society (St. Albans, New York)

POMS Paperless Order Management System

POMS Portfolio Order Management System

POMS Posted on Multiple Sites

POMS Production and Operations Management Society

POMS Program Operations Manual System (Social Security Administration)

Note: We have 57 other definitions for POMS in our Acronym Attic"

For stories on SOL "Posted on Multiple Sites" might be an appropriate warning.

Ross at Play

@richardshagrin

In this context a "Pom" seems to be a Briton

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!

Those I was addressing, other Aussies, are certain to understand who I mean, especially as I was talking about cricket.
Those who do not understand do not matter!

Ross at Play

@richardshagrin

We have 57 other definitions

Is this intended as a segue into fart puns?

Replies:   sejintenej
Bondi Beach
Updated:

@Ross at Play


Have any other Aussies noticed a cricket team from the "traditional enemy" is touring our fair land. ETA: Although you left out Test as well as an explanation of why it's called that.


I think you may have carried the day for the greatest number of Oz-isms coupled with cricket terms unknown to the rest of us* in one post.

bb

*Although when a colleague (also American) and I were ferrying a VIP around Sydney and she asked about cricket, instead of the usual shrug I would have given he produced a concise rational explanation of the game in about three minutes. Sadly, I've forgotten the details.

richardshagrin

cricket

In most of the United States of America, cricket is an insect that makes an annoying sound by rubbing its limbs* together.

*far more information than necessary follows, feel free to skip. "Most male crickets make a loud chirping sound by stridulation (scraping two specially textured limbs together). The stridulatory organ is located on the tegmen, or fore wing, which is leathery in texture. A large vein runs along the centre of each tegmen, with comb-like serrations on its edge forming a file-like structure, and at the rear edge of the tegmen is a scraper. The tegmina are held at an angle to the body and rhythmically raised and lowered which causes the scraper on one wing to rasp on the file on the other. The central part of the tegmen contains the "harp", an area of thick, sclerotinized membrane which resonates and amplifies the volume of sound, as does the pocket of air between the tegmina and the body wall. Most female crickets lack the necessary adaptations to stridulate, so make no sound.[5]

Several types of cricket songs are in the repertoire of some species. The calling song attracts females and repels other males, and is fairly loud. The courting song is used when a female cricket is near and encourages her to mate with the caller. A triumphal song is produced for a brief period after a successful mating, and may reinforce the mating bond to encourage the female to lay some eggs rather than find another male.[6] An aggressive song is triggered by contact chemoreceptors on the antennae that detect the presence of another male cricket.[7]

Crickets chirp at different rates depending on their species and the temperature of their environment. Most species chirp at higher rates the higher the temperature is (about 62 chirps a minute at 13 °C (55 °F) in one common species; each species has its own rate). The relationship between temperature and the rate of chirping is known as Dolbear's law. According to this law, counting the number of chirps produced in 14 seconds by the snowy tree cricket, common in the United States, and adding 40 will approximate the temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.[6]

The calling song of a field cricket
In 1975, Dr. William H. Cade discovered that the parasitic tachinid fly Ormia ochracea is attracted to the song of the cricket, and uses it to locate the male to deposit her larvae on him. It was the first known example of a natural enemy that locates its host or prey using the mating signal.[8] Since then, many species of crickets have been found to be carrying the same parasitic fly, or related species. In response to this selective pressure, a mutation leaving males unable to chirp was observed amongst a population of field crickets on the Hawaiian island of Kauai, enabling these crickets to elude their parasitoid predators.[9] A different mutation with the same effect was also discovered on the neighboring island of Oahu (ca. 100 miles (160 km) away).[10]" Courtesy (?) of Wickopedia

It is probable that this much information is entirely unnecessary, but is attached to urge readers not to explain how the game, cricket, is played. There is a theory that cricket has evolved into an American game called baseball. How to play that is also not necessary to post. There are a few stories on the site that go into details about bats and balls and base running and all the other details. The site has search features to allow readers to find stories that talk about it in great detail, unnecessary detail, in my opinion. I threaten to discuss how to play Avalon Hill games if anyone decides to explain either cricket or baseball or how they differ.

AmigaClone

@richardshagrin

There are a few stories on the site that go into details about bats and balls and base running and all the other details.

One of those is notable for getting many of the details wrong...

QM

Makes you wonder at the pathetic attempts to win them back in the previous years :-D
By the way, how are your attempts to get the Bledisloe cup back when playing a real sport?

Replies:   Ross at Play
graybyrd
Updated:

@richardshagrin


I threaten to discuss how to play Avalon Hill games if anyone decides to explain either cricket or baseball or how they differ.


Noted. It is also highly probable that we shall all avoid stridulating.

As for those chirpless field crickets on Kauai, one might logically assume that although they'd avoided the parasitic eggs, they were--consequent of their chirpless state--mateless? Unless, of course, they'd found an alternate way to attract mates: facebook.

Ross at Play
Updated:

@QM

By the way, how are your attempts to get the Bledisloe cup back when playing a real sport?

I don't know. I pretend to prefer League whenever any Kiwis are about.

I analysed figures from Wiki for total registrations for four football codes in Australia and New Zealand. In New Zealand almost half of the total registrations were for rugby union. In Australia, that was less than 3%. Congratulations ... you can beat us at one game hardly any of us play.

Replies:   QM
Ross at Play
Updated:

@richardshagrin

It was the first known example of a natural enemy that locates its host or prey using the mating signal.

It reminds of some efforts by Alaskan salmon fishermen to counter whales plucking their catch from fishing lines. They played noises that initially scared the whales away. It wasn't long before the whales started treating the noises as their dinner bell!

Ross at Play

@richardshagrin

I threaten to discuss how to play Avalon Hill games if anyone decides to explain either cricket or baseball or how they differ.

I'll risk it ...
One difference between cricket and baseball is the meaning of the word 'innings'.
In cricket, the singular and plural forms of the word are both 'innings'. The singular meaning is limited to one turn at bat by either a single batsman or a whole team (up to ten outs).
In baseball, the singular form is 'inning', and as I understand it, that means one of the nine periods in a game when both teams bat until they have three men out.

Zom

@richardshagrin

I threaten to discuss how to play Avalon Hill games if anyone decides to explain either cricket or baseball or how they differ.

Probably better explained by exception. The only similarities between cricket and baseball is that they both have a ball and a bat. Everything else is different.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater

@Zom

Everything else is different.


Oh, you could sum the both up as: one side is out in the field while the other side is batting until the side batting is out, then they go out in the field while the side in the field come in to bat. And when they've all had their turns at bat the one with the most runs wins.

Replies:   Ross at Play  Zom  Ava G
Ross at Play
Updated:

@Ernest Bywater

the one with the most runs wins.

But, but, but, ...

THAT'S the fascinating thing baseball lacks.
There doesn't HAVE TO BE a winner in cricket.
One side can be comprehensively outplayed yet STILL hold on for a honourable draw.

Replies:   Zom
Zom

@Ernest Bywater

Oh, you could sum the both up as: one side is out in the field while the other side is batting until the side batting is out, then they go out in the field while the side in the field come in to bat.

Maybe, but the sides are different, the fields are different, the bats are different, the methods of out are mostly different, the runs are different, the number of innings is different, etc. etc.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Zom
Updated:

@Ross at Play


One side can be comprehensively outplayed


Or drowned :-) Or vanish in the dark :-)

QM

@Ross at Play

Well if you can't beat the All Blacks in a real sport, you're just never going to be good enough. :D

Replies:   Ross at Play  Zom
Ross at Play
Updated:

@QM

Well if you can't beat the All Blacks in a real sport, you're just never going to be good enough.

OKAY! Rugby Union is a 'real sport' and it is getting embarrassing.

By my reckoning, the All Blacks have won 22 consecutive home games against the Wallabies over a 16 year period. Meanwhile, they've won 12 away games, versus 8 losses and 2 draws.

BUT, do you care to mention any OTHER real sports? :-)

Replies:   QM
Ernest Bywater

@Zom

Maybe, but


true, but I was limiting myself to the things that were the same.

Zom
Updated:

@QM


Well if you can't beat the All Blacks in a real sport


But we're getting closer :-) We beat them at home!

sejintenej
Updated:

@Ross at Play


richardshagrin

We have 57 other definitions

Is this intended as a segue into fart puns?


Probably intended to bring in the lower class who don't know what bails (not balls) do when hit by balls and certainly worry about innings when the team is out (and all that accurate stuff)(Brave attempt EB)

As for the result - I don't care; just let be a pom (probably that Kate Middleton's sister) who wins the Vasa race

As for Robertshagrin's idea I suspect baseball segued from rounders - another Olde English game which is still played in public schools which Americans call private schools.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@sejintenej

I admit my "is [57] a segue into fart puns?" may be too obtuse. Personally, I found these free associations inescapable:
57 = Heinz 57 varieties
Heinz = Beanz Meanz Heinz
Beans = farts

But, the "Vasa race"? How on earth did you get there???

But Richard heading off into bizarro-world with the acronyms of POMS was his own fault. He guessed the meaning correctly the first time: 'Poms' meant Brits. I wrote it as a proper noun, 'Poms'. If I was using it as an acronym I would have written either 'POMS' or 'POMs'.

awnlee jawking

@richardshagrin

In this context a "Pom" seems to be a Briton (a native of the part of Great Britain known as England.)


Ironically, according to one etymology, it may have originally meant about-to-be-Australians. Newly arrived convicts were known as POMs, or Prisoners Of Mother England.

AJ

Ava G

@Ernest Bywater

What about Duckworth-Lewis-Stern in limited-overs and T20 cricket? The side with fewer runs could win.

Ernest Bywater

@Ava G

What about Duckworth-Lewis-Stern in limited-overs and T20 cricket? The side with fewer runs could win.


I was talking about the game of Cricket, not the cut down oddities some people made by altering the rules and giving them slightly different names.

Ross at Play
Updated:

@Ava G

What about Duckworth-Lewis-Stern in limited-overs and T20 cricket? The side with fewer runs could win.

I was talking about the game of Cricket, not the cut-down oddities designed by TV executives to cater for viewers with the attention span of a goldfish.

Sorry, Ava. You struck a nerve some of us really care about. :-)

Replies:   Ava G
QM

@Ross at Play

See the Wallabies just got trashed by England for the third time.

QM

@Ava G

That's generally because most runs are scored in the last ten overs and the formula is designed to take that into account.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@QM

That's generally because most runs are scored in the last ten overs and the formula is designed to take that into account.

It actually considers both overs and wickets remaining.
The method attempts to calculate the number of runs needed in the overs remaining to reach a "statistically average" performance.
For example, it may calculate a team - with four wickets remaining - needs to score at an average of 10 runs per over if there are 10 overs left, but 8 runs per over if 15 overs are left. However, if the batting side has only three wickets remaining, those targets could be 12 and 9 runs per over respectively.
It's not perfect - nothing could be - but I find you rarely feel a target that had seemed difficult but possible before a short break for rain has suddenly become very easy or impossible when play resumes. :-)

Ross at Play

@QM

See the Wallabies just got trashed by England for the third time.

I think you're missing an essential ingredient in what is required when you want to offend someone by insulting their tribe - you need to pick something they actually care about.
This one source of insults you have found is valid, but why are you bothering when about 99% of your intended "victims" could not, literally, care any less about it.
I hear you've got a decent rugby league team (third best), and cricket team (never won anything). Then there's netball. That's a real sport! Sadly, second again - behind guess who? - and would you have even managed that without that South African-born sharp-shooter all those years?

Replies:   QM
Ernest Bywater
Updated:

@QM


See the Wallabies just got trashed by England for the third time.


They did nicer than I did. When I lived and worked on a farm I always shot the wallabies when I saw them, they were pests, almost as bad as most Poms and Yanks were pest. :-)

BTW: My father was a Yorkshireman who loved cricket and supported the Aussie team in all games.

ypo edit

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Ernest Bywater

They did nice than I did. When I lived and worked on a farm I always shot the wallabies when I saw them, they were pests, almost as bad as most Poms and Yanks were pest. :-)


We Brits don't have many wallabies in the wild, but when we see them we always coo over the cute little creatures. They're not numerous enough to be a pest, unlike politicians ;)

AJ

Replies:   sejintenej
sejintenej

@awnlee jawking

We Brits don't have many wallabies in the wild, but when we see them we always coo over the cute little creatures. They're not numerous enough to be a pest, unlike politicians ;)

and the only ones I have seen were in Yorkshire

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@sejintenej

and the only ones I have seen were in Yorkshire


You've seen EB's dad? ;)

AJ

QM

@Ross at Play

I'm not trying to offend you, I'm just pointing out that success at cricket is counterbalanced by failure elsewhere... lots and lots of failure.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@QM

I'm just pointing out that success at cricket is counterbalanced by failure elsewhere... lots and lots of failure.

A lot of failures at one sport that very, very few people play does bother me. Eskimos can beat us at ice fishing too. That doesn't bother me either. :-)

Replies:   QM
QM

@Ross at Play

So what you're saying is that you're only good at one sport that the vast majority of the world doesn't play? And that you're going to ignore people pointing out that you get trashed in pretty much every other sport you play? :D

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play
Updated:

@QM

So what you're saying is that you're only good at one sport that the vast majority of the world doesn't play? And that you're going to ignore people pointing out that you get trashed in pretty much every other sport you play?

What? I haven't turned into a Kiwi!

I'm saying that Kiwis are only good at one sport that the vast majority of the world doesn't play. And that they get trashed in pretty much every other sport they play. And I'm going to ignore people pointing out that they trash Australia in one sport that only they play.

Replies:   QM
QM

@Ross at Play

I'm not a Kiwi. But as they just won the Rugby world cup twice in a row with teams competing from all over the world, I'd have to say you're mistaken. I rather suspect this was a typical Aussie attempt to have a go at the Pom's in your usual over the top manner where you mistake sledging for humour.

Ava G

@Ross at Play

not the cut-down oddities designed by TV executives to cater for viewers with the attention span of a goldfish.


Not everyone has the opportunity to play four- or five-day matches, so the limited-overs forms do have some merit in letting more people participate.

Also, I come from a country which has never managed even temporary ODI status. The only cricket matches on television here are T20 matches shown in the middle of the night by cable channels desperately looking for anything live to broadcast at 3 a.m. I'll take T20 if the alternative is nothing.

Replies:   Ross at Play  Zom  Zom
Ross at Play

@Ava G

I'll take T20 if the alternative is nothing.

Did I fail to mention that ODIs are my second-favourite sport for TV viewing, and T20s the third? :-)

Zom

@Ava G

to play four- or five-day matches

Unless you count golf as a sport, which nobody does. We have had the occasional individual who was good at golf too.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Zom

@Ava G

I come from a country which has never managed even temporary ODI status.

Yikes! What Godforsaken patch of dirt do you hail from :-)

Ross at Play

@Zom

Unless you count golf as a sport, which nobody does. We have had the occasional individual who was good at golf too.

If physical skills are prone to collapse because the mind is under pressure, I call that a sport.
Two of the last five players to hold the world number 1 ranking were Australians. :-)

Replies:   Zom
Zom

@Ross at Play

I call that a sport.

sport
spɔːt/
noun
1.
an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.

I don't see a lot of exertion in golf :-) Contest maybe?

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@Zom

I don't see a lot of exertion in golf :-)

One meaning of exertion is vigorous activity.
Another is an effort, which may be only mental, intended to achieve some goal.
From dictionary.com

exertion
/ɪgˈzɜr ʃən/
noun
1. vigorous action or effort: physical and mental exertion.
2. an effort: a great exertion to help others.
...
Synonyms
1. endeavor, struggle, attempt, activity, strain. See effort.

So, YES! I do see physical exertion in golf.

Replies:   robberhands
robberhands

@Ross at Play

So, YES! I do see physical exertion in golf.

I only have to watch golf on TV and already feel all kinds of strain and exertion.

Replies:   Zom  awnlee jawking
Ross at Play

I shouldn't try debating with the bunch of talented sportsman we have here. :-)

From dictionary.com

sport
/spɔrt, spoʊrt/
noun
...
6. mockery; ridicule; derision:

Replies:   awnlee jawking
Zom

@robberhands

already feel all kinds of strain and exertion.

Yep, that's what the thunderbox is for :-)

awnlee jawking

@robberhands

You can be a lard-bucket and still be a top golfer. IMO golf has a very minimal claim to being a sport. But in these bizarre times, when chess and card games are claiming to be sports, I suppose a gentle stroll around a mostly flat bit of countryside is more exercise than sitting in a radio-controlled car and twiddling the steering wheel at regular intervals.

AJ

awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

I shouldn't try debating with the bunch of talented sportsman we have here.


You lost to Hibernian today ;)

But that was at a real sport, where the participants actually get breathless.

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@awnlee jawking

We might be in trouble his time.

Last test, the Poms batted, crumbled to four for 304 at stumps on day one, on their way to losing by more than an innings.

This test, the Aussies batted and they've been skittled to three for 244 at stumps on day one.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

Yeah, I bet you're quaking so much your tinnie will explode when you pull the tab ;)

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

Yeah, I bet you're quaking so much your tinnie will explode when you pull the tab ;)

Fortunately, for the rest of the world, I no longer partake in that vice. It's coming up on 30 years since my last tinnie.

Zom

@Ross at Play

It's coming up on 30 years since my last tinnie.

So, no fishing in a long time? :-)

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@Zom

So, no fishing in a long time? :-)

You got me with that one. WTF does 'fishing' mean? ...
Assuming you meant the most plausible explanation I found in the urban dictionary, my response is:
Nah! I just don't have any excuses for the shit I create anymore. :(

Replies:   Zom
robberhands

@Ross at Play

Fortunately, for the rest of the world, I no longer partake in that vice. It's coming up on 30 years since my last tinnie.

Just imagine, I and, I'd wager, a great part of the rest of the world as well, didn't even know about this fortunate situational change. Now that thirty years have passed, what's your next plan to change the destiny of humanity?

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@robberhands

what's your next plan to change the destiny of humanity?

Die.

Ross at Play

@Ross at Play

Die.

Well, that one went down like the Hindenburg. :(

StarFleet Carl

@richardshagrin

play Avalon Hill games


Ah, that brings back some memories ...

We used to play Squad Leader all the time. What was fun was doing it in blind groups, with referees. You have three complete games, with Teams A & B in different rooms with only their pieces on them at the start. The referee would be in a middle room, with a full board with every piece on it. Then as each team moved, the referees would disclose what they could see. Made for some fun times when you'd move to attack an outpost, only to find out it was a command post.

I even remember making little pieces that fit a hex with a post coming up from the center, so we could run a string and straight line between center of hex to center of hex for visible sight lines. Ah, the good old days of plywood table top gaming ...

awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

Pffft, you're not a real Australian. I'd even bet you don't have a wife named Sheila ;)

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

Pffffft. So what? My middle name is Bruce.

awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

Ross Bruce is extremely antieuphonic, from which we can deduce that you have at least four forenames ;)

AJ

robberhands
Updated:

@Ross at Play

Pffffft. So what? My middle name is Bruce.

Ah, the Bruce! The one who learned the value of perseverance from watching a spider spin a web. I heard you have really big spiders down under.

ETA: The Hindenburg was a Zeppelin and a Zeppelin doesn't go down. The Hindenburg went up ... in flames.

ETA 2: What colors do you use to dye?

awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

Die


You're too late. Dice were invented a long time ago.

AJ

Ross at Play
Updated:

@robberhands

I heard you have really big spiders down under.

Not big, just the most deadly, and most deadly snakes, and sharks, are crocodiles, ...
Actually, more people die after being trampled by horses or cattle than from all our biting and stinging nasties combined. :(

Ross at Play

I've suddenly gone all explicably silent at stumps on day two. :(

Replies:   robberhands
robberhands

@Ross at Play

Well, the days between Christmas and New Year are known as the contemplative time of the year. I'm, as usual, reflecting at this time why in hell I've visitors at my home, who I try to dodge all the rest of the year.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play
Updated:

@robberhands

the days between Christmas and New Year

The tradition in Australia for that time of year, at least among the lower classes, is the hours of 11 AM to 6 PM are strictly reserved for drinking beer, watching cricket, and drinking beer. It doesn't always work, but the general plan is to be too preoccupied to care what visitors do during the day, and too pissed to care at night. :-)

ETA. Many Americans have a similar tradition of watching football after lunch on Thanksgiving day. The main difference is our tradition can last for five days.

Replies:   Ava G
awnlee jawking

@robberhands

I heard you have really big spiders down under.


Posing as a rugged Australian requires skimping on personal grooming ;)

AJ

Replies:   robberhands
robberhands

@awnlee jawking

Don't believe Bruce, they do have really big spiders in Australia!

awnlee jawking

@robberhands

Do they eat really big flies? ;)

AJ

Replies:   robberhands
robberhands

@awnlee jawking

Do they eat really big flies? ;)

I hope it's a herbivore and grazes.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
Ross at Play
Updated:

@robberhands

they do have really big spiders in Australia!

Yeah, but they're not the ones you need to be concerned about.

We have some very big huntsman spiders, but you won't end up in hospital if one bites you. Also, but very rare, we have a few species of tarantula that are almost as large and might land you in hospital, but they won't kill you.

The ones to be worried about are much smaller. Several live in urban areas and make the list of spiders with the world's most toxic venom.

Come down to visit us and try scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef. That's got SHARKS, and an assortment of jellyfish, stingrays, and other creatures that can kill you. I'd say, "Watch out for the stonefish!" but that would be futile. You'll never spot one before stepping on it, and its spikes contain among the most toxic fish venom in the world. :-)

Replies:   Zom
awnlee jawking

@robberhands

I hope it's a herbivore and grazes.


A herbivorous spider, like a carnivorous sheep, is not something that would come about through evolution. So it would have to be the invention of a really dumbass Intelligent Designer :(

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

herbivorous spider

Bagheera Kiplingi

It's about as dumbass as marine mammals or carnivorous marsupials.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
Zom

@Ross at Play

You got me with that one.

OK. That was a bit obtuse. I used to love fishing from a tinnie, but that hasn't happened for me for longer than 30 years.

awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

It says 'mostly vegetarian', so presumably it's still in the early days of evolving from a predatory lifestyle. It still has its predatorial eyes, for example. Perhaps it will go the way of the Giant Panda, which evolved as a carnivore then unsuccessfully tried to become a vegetarian, now surviving mainly because humans think they look cute.

What's dumbass about marine mammals? They were doing quite well until humans decided to mass-slaughter them.

AJ

robberhands

@awnlee jawking

What's dumbass about marine mammals? They were doing quite well until humans decided to mass-slaughter them.

They should have seen it coming.

Zom

@Ross at Play

tarantula that are almost as large and might land you in hospital

I will guarantee that the Queensland Bird Spider would land me in the Coronary Intensive Care unit, with a poor prognosis. I ran into one (literally) when I was a kid and voided completely. Not my favourite species.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@awnlee jawking

What's dumbass about marine mammals?

I said, "as dumbass as," meaning "Not!"
I thought your statement, "not something that would come about through evolution", was ill-conceived. There are numerous examples of convergent evolution, where distantly related species separately evolve almost identical body types. It's environmental opportunities that drive evolution, not pre-existing body forms.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
Ross at Play

@Zom

I will guarantee that the Queensland Bird Spider would land me in the Coronary Intensive Care unit, with a poor prognosis.

Which would you least dislike being bitten by, a Queensland Bird Spider (a tarantula), a funnel-web, or a red back spider?
I'd pick the tarantula, soiled trousers and all. :(

awnlee jawking
Updated:

@Ross at Play

The spider has presumably found a niche to exploit, using some of its predatorial capabilities to 'steal' Acacia leaf tips. But that begs the question of how its digestive system copes with a diet it wasn't evolved for.

I think it's too big a change to be considered convergent evolution - what is it converging towards? I suspect that, like the Giant Panda, it's turning into a blind alley. Which is a shame - that's a really cute spider :(

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@awnlee jawking

don't think convergent evolution is happening in this case.

Definitely not in this case.
I mentioned convergent evolution because it is quite common for species which find an available niche to develop a diet quite unlike others in the group they come from. You suggested evolution would not create something, but it's capable of producing some really weird things.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

don't think convergent evolution is happening in this case.


Oops, I didn't proofread my reply correctly.

Different continent, but don't giraffes live on Acacias? I wonder what a result of convergent evolution between a giraffe and a spider would look like ;)

AJ

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin

@awnlee jawking

convergent evolution between a giraffe and a spider

Something like cmsix's favorite beer, long necks.

Ava G

@Ross at Play

Many Americans have a similar tradition of watching football after lunch on Thanksgiving day. The main difference is our tradition can last for five days


While the American football game merely seems like it lasts for five days.

Replies:   AmigaClone
AmigaClone

@Ava G


While the American football game merely seems like it lasts for five days.


There is a dead tree series called "Wingman" by Mack Maloney where one of the places the MC visits is known for having one American Football game a year. That game lasts 300 days and is played by two teams with 500 players each. People can place bets on anywhere from a single quarter to the entire season/game.

sejintenej

Having lunch under a tree in France a tiny (1/8th inch - 5mm) dropped on her hair. We were lucky and got to a doctor quick and she was on one of these new MRSA antibiotics plus 2 hourly sterilising spray for three months. Apparently it is an American export and can requite surgery, skin grafting and over six months treatment if not treated very quickly and properly.
In the UK I have had a false widow spider in the house - apparently they can be nasty

Replies:   Dominions Son
Ross at Play

@AmigaClone

People can place bets on anywhere from a single quarter to the entire season/game.

Indians are mad about cricket, and love to bet, and they've come up with some weird ways of betting on cricket matches.
One style of bet that's quite popular is betting on which number four, say, batsman scores the most runs in a one-day match.
This opened up opportunities for bookmakers to bribe players to get out cheaply. Several players, including one former captain of India, were banned for life for accepting bribes for that.

Which reminded me of what I think is the most bizarre thing I've ever read in any newspaper ...

This happened in 1983 in Madras, now called Chennai. Before the last round of matches, it was certain one of two teams in the (about) third division of the local soccer league would be relegated. If both won their final match, the team relegated would depend on goal difference. The two teams played their last round matches at the same time on adjacent grounds - cheers from the crowd at one game could be heard by the players at the other ground. Both bottom-of-the-table teams won. The score from one match was over one hundred goals to nil?! The other was only ninety-something to nil. :(

All four clubs and all forty-four players were banned for five years.

Dominions Son
Updated:

@sejintenej


Having lunch under a tree in France a tiny (1/8th inch - 5mm) dropped on her hair.


A tiny what? I'm assuming at that size, it's probably either some kind of insect or a arachnid, deer tick maybe?

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@Dominions Son

A tiny what?

He's mentioned this here before. It was a spider.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Ross at Play

I am being very, very quiet at stumps on day three.
Ladbrokes currently has odds of Evens for an England win, 11/10 for a draw, and 9/1 for an Australian win.
Even money about England winning looks pretty tasty to me. :(

Replies:   awnlee jawking
Dominions Son
Updated:

@Ross at Play


He's mentioned this here before. It was a spider.


He said it was an American export, and described treatment with antibiotics.

While many species of tics carry diseases, I have never heard of any North or South American spiders that do (which doesn't preclude the existence of such), and there are very few spiders in the Americas toxic enough to be dangerous to humans who aren't allergic.

Replies:   sejintenej
awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

Even money about England winning looks pretty tasty to me.


A flat track against England's pie-throwers? Unless Australia bat suicidally, I reckon the draw is the best value.

If you want to bet on an England win, do it on the 5th Test. It seems to be something of a tradition to cast the outclassed side a bone in the last test - give some youngsters an outing and let the poor defeated buggers have some false hope for the future.

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@awnlee jawking

A flat track against England's pie-throwers?

Perhaps? I look at a need to survive for a minimum of 8 hours on a fourth- and fifth-day wicket. That may be tough, even on a flat wickets against pie-chuckers.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
richardshagrin

@AmigaClone

"Wingman" by Mack Maloney

There are 18 books in the series. Is the game a feature of all 18 or is it mostly in one particular book?

Replies:   AmigaClone
AmigaClone

@richardshagrin

There are 18 books in the series. Is the game a feature of all 18 or is it mostly in one particular book?


If I recall, the game is only mentioned in the first one or two books.

sejintenej
Updated:

@Dominions Son


While many species of tics carry diseases, I have never heard of any North or South American spiders that do (which doesn't preclude the existence of such), and there are very few spiders in the Americas toxic enough to be dangerous to humans who aren't allergic.


The doctor did say it was a spider (araignee) but she was not too sure as to what type. I had seen it in my wife's hair and dismissed it in my ignorance.

Later I looked up in google and the only one which fitted the bill was the Brown Recluse. Another entry stated that it had found its way to France.

Please believe me when I say it was n a s t y and took a long time to be treated.

DS; I don't think it was a disease as such - just a very painful brown mark on the skin which spread and spread without pain diminishing. No other apparent symptoms like fever, shakiness etc. The mild shock I can put down to the pain and worry

Replies:   Zom  Dominions Son
Zom
Updated:

@sejintenej


a very painful brown mark on the skin which spread and spread without pain diminishing


There is consistent and compelling first-hand anecdotal evidence, over the last 30 years, that bites from the white-tail spider (Lampona cylindrata and Lampona murina) can cause necrotic ulcers (Necrotic arachnidism) that often become very difficult to treat. Recent medical opinion debunks the association, but alternative explanations are difficult to find. It may be that some pathogen carried by the spider, either directly or indirectly, is the actual causal agent, but no proof has yet been forthcoming.

Dominions Son

@sejintenej

The doctor did say it was a spider (araignee) but she was not too sure as to what type.


Later I looked up in google and the only one which fitted the bill was the Brown Recluse.


Nasty buggers.

DS; I don't think it was a disease as such


Antibiotics are very specifically for treating bacterial infections/diseases. They are useless in treating venomous stings/bites or viral diseases.

Brown recluse bites can be come necrotic and produce open sores. Antibiotics might be used/needed to prevent secondary infections, but wouldn't to anything to treat the spider bite itself.

awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

You have RAIN in Australia in the middle of Summer??????

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play  sejintenej
Ross at Play
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

You have RAIN in Australia in the middle of Summer?

That depends on where you are. Very broadly speaking:
* across the north, say Darwin to Cairns, there are monsoonal storms more days than not during the summer months
* through the centre, say Brisbane to Sydney, very rarely
* across the south, say Melbourne to Perth, occasionally when cold fronts associated with low-pressure systems from Antarctica push up between the prevailing high-pressure systems at that latitude this time of year. See yesterday's synoptic chart.

The forecast for Melbourne tomorrow is a few isolated early-afternoon storms, with most areas receiving no rain.

I think the 4/1 Ladbrokes are offering for England winning looks very tasty. I think a draw is the most likely result, but the chances of England winning seem a lot better than 20% to me.

They'll start play an hour earlier than usual tomorrow, to catch up some of the lost overs. Assuming the rain hanging about misses the MCG, there will be just over 100 overs of play. Australia still has 60 runs left to wipe out the first-innings deficit. That'll take about 20 overs. Will the number of runs they accumulate, batting carefully, for the next 50 overs be enough to prevent England achieving a target in 30 overs? I doubt it. I guess it might be close if that was 55 overs against 25, but unlikely once it gets to 60 overs against only 20.

That means Australia must bat for about 75 overs, five hours, to secure a draw ... on a fifth-day wicket with only 8 wickets left. Sure, the wicket seems flat and your bowlers are only sending down powder puffs ... but it's a fifth-day wicket! It's bound to become a bit unpredictable. :(

Replies:   awnlee jawking  Zom
awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

it's a fifth-day wicket! It's bound to become a bit unpredictable


And we have exactly the spinners to take advantage of a disintegrating pitch. Trouble is, they're all retired or dead :(

AJ

sejintenej

@awnlee jawking

You have RAIN in Australia in the middle of Summer??????

YES!!!! we went to Ayres Rock in mid Australian summer for two days and could only look through heavy rain.
OTOH we had no rain driving from Cairns down to Sydney and only occasional cloud

Replies:   Zom
Zom

@sejintenej

YES!!!! we went to Ayres Rock in mid Australian summer for two days and could only look through heavy rain.

That is quite rare! Heavy rain at Uluru is uncommon but happens a few times a year. Heavy rain at Uluru for two days happens only a few times a decade.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
Zom

@Ross at Play

Australia must bat for about 75 overs, five hours, to secure a draw

And a draw it was, but by Captains' agreement, with 6 minutes to play :-)

Ross at Play

@Zom

And a draw it was

I cannot get a telecast in Indonesia, so I didn't know how incredibly slow the wicket was.
It's only the second draw in a Boxing Day test match in the last 20 years, about as frequent as prolonged rain at Uluru. Test wickets almost always get unpredictable on the last couple of days, but this wicket had nothing!

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

but this wicket had nothing!


Hence Anderson's ball-tampering :(

AJ

awnlee jawking

@Zom

Heavy rain at Uluru is uncommon


I can't remember Lt Uhura beaming down to planets very often, so there was little opportunity for her to get rained on ;)

AJ

awnlee jawking

@Zom

11/10 would have been a worthwhile investment :(

AJ

Ross at Play
Updated:

EDIT: Damn, I wanted to respond to this post, but accidentally edited and replaced it entirely. :(
This is attempt to recreate what it originally said, as best I can recall ...

The final test at the SCG is about to start ... The SCG usually takes spin, but this is the first wicket prepared by a new curator, and the first match on the ground this season. The curator says it's a "traditional SCG wicket".
There was enough green in the wicket for the Aussies to stick with three pace bowlers. The Poms replaced an all-rounder with a leggie! He's making his test debut, a 20yo, and his first-class average is 44. Good luck?

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@Ross at Play

The Poms replaced an all-rounder with a leggie! He's making his test debut, a 20yo, and his first-class average is 44.

If some authors write "gun porn", should this be called "cricket porn"?

Replies:   robberhands
robberhands

@Ross at Play

If some authors write "gun porn", should this be called "cricket porn"?

A more general tag "deranged porn" would suffice.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play
Updated:

@robberhands

A more general tag "deranged porn" would suffice.

I think you, Sepp, are looking at effects and declaring them to be the cause.

The effects are obviously going to be someone will become deranged if they spend six hours per day, for five consecutive days, watching intermittent rain on the idiot box - and the end result of the "contest" is a draw - but the cause is the self-selection of victims sufficiently predisposed to voluntarily submit themselves to such an ordeal.

Replies:   robberhands
robberhands

@Ross at Play

but the cause is the self-selection of victims sufficiently predisposed to voluntarily submit themselves to such an ordeal.

Good point. Although a bit long for a tag it should read 'porn for the predisposed deranged'.

Ross at Play
Updated:

The Poms managed 346 in their first dig. Not great, but okay.
The Aussies, in reply, are 2/193 at stumps on day two. Same old, same old ... :-)
Both of the Pommies' spinners are none for fifty-plus. Same old, same old ... :-)

Replies:   Zom  awnlee jawking
Zom

@Ross at Play

Same old, same old ...

Was listening on the way home, but the road melted. Really.

Replies:   Ross at Play
awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

I've changed my mind. The fourth test was the loser's bone. England started talking themselves up and that's always a bad sign. I recommend betting on an Australian win in the 5th Test. Any idea what the odds are, Bruce?

AJ

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play

@awnlee jawking

Any idea what the odds are, Bruce?

Yes, Frank.

The current odds offered by Ladbrokes are:
Australia: 4/11
England: 7/1
Draw: 4/1

Replies:   awnlee jawking
Ross at Play

@Zom

Was listening on the way home, but the road melted. Really.

You've got me. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere, but I can't figure it out.

So, in my best redheaded Queensland accent, I ask, "Please Explain?"

Replies:   Zom
awnlee jawking

@Ross at Play

Australia: 4/11


Ouch! The horse has bolted :(

AJ

Zom

@Ross at Play

Please Explain?

May not have made it on the news there, but the south-bound Hume Highway north of Melbourne melted yesterday. Got stuck in that fracas and could not listen for a while. Aircon failed from the heat at 5kmh, car covered in tar spots. Not a happy camper.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play
Updated:

@Zom

Not a happy camper.

I can imagine. :(

It explains why I had such difficulty figuring out the joke.

Ross at Play
Updated:

OH! DEAR! Oh, dearie, dearie me.

Needless to say, it was not a good day for the "traditional thumpee" ... but it shall be said anyway.

Ladbrokes are now offering odds of 1/750 about the combination bet of either: an Australian win, or a draw.

At least their two spinners have started taking some wicket. Their figures are currently 1/125 and 1/135. No bananas for any of their pace men all day, though.

BTW, the score is 4/479 at stumps on day three, a lead of 133 runs.

sejintenej

You have to remember that Australia (except Brisbane) is the land of sun, England is the land of rain or, in cricket-speak RSP (rain stopped play) :D

Zom

50degC out there today. Bet the Poms don't like that much :-)

Dominions Son

@Zom

50degC out there today. Bet the Poms don't like that much :-)


Lucky you, it's -12degC where I am.

Replies:   Zom
Zom
Updated:

@Dominions Son


Lucky you


10degF or 122degF. Fairly sure which I would prefer.

Where you are would be best methinks, given there are only so many clothes one can take off to get cooler, but plenty one can put on to get warmer :-)

Replies:   KimLittle
KimLittle

@Zom

there are only so many clothes one can take off to get cooler, but plenty one can put on to get warmer :-)


Which is why I shoot off to the northern hemisphere as soon as work finishes, and don't come back until the day before I have to start again. Fuck the antipodean summer.

Give me firelight, blankets, scarves and much more reasonable alcohol excises.

Ross at Play
Updated:

The Poms replaced an all-rounder with a leggie! He's making his test debut, a 20yo, and his first-class average is 44. Good luck?

That experiment didn't work!
He managed one wicket for 193! :(

I checked. There are two bowlers in the entire history of test cricket with worse bowling averages.

Ross at Play
Updated:

To AJ and sejintenej,

Only one day of your ordeal left.

Your guys still need another 210 runs just to avoid an innings plus defeat, and they've already lost four wickets. Perhaps they could take up a real sport, tenpin bowling. They seem to have a natural aptitude as skittles.

sejintenej
Updated:

@Zom


50degC out there today. Bet the Poms don't like that much


Wouldn't worry much - used to play rugger in those conditions. The pitch was hard like a cricket square Weekends a couple of hours in an open concrete squash court before imbibing a few pints of beer and having a curry. In 2003 about 17000 French people died of heat stroke in August whilst this Pom was reroofing a house for a week

Replies:   Zom
Zom

An innings and 123 runs to finish up 4-0. Nice.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Zom

@sejintenej

whilst this Pom was reroofing a house for a week

Um - hoping you aren't typical!

Replies:   sejintenej
Ross at Play
Updated:

@Zom

An innings and 123 runs to finish up 4-0. Nice.

I'm looking forward to the return bout next year, during what they laughingly call "summer".
We had a bad stretch for several years when we couldn't find any (fit) strike bowlers ... but normal service has been resumed now. :-)

BUT ... the series that will actually test something have just started.
South Africa just started a 3 test series against India at home. They appear about to wrap up the first test.
Then a real contest, I hope? South Africa host Australia for 4 tests beginning the start of March.
Thumping Poms may be fun, but I've got my doubts our batting line-up, beyond Smith and Warner, can hold up against the South African attack.

I wouldn't be surprised of AJ and sejintenej become "honorary South Africans" for the month of March. That is traditionally where about half of "their" team comes from. :-)

sejintenej

@Zom

Um - hoping you aren't typical!

The house was built about 200 years ago and probably had nothing done for 250 years - a real mess to rebuild. That long to re-roof? The place is huge
Timbers had to be checked, repaired and treated, old tiles taken off and taken down for resale, snake skins removed - no wonder it took a while.

There was a TV series about people like us (but not us). Ended up a lovely house and farm

Ross at Play

My entire world is collapsing! :(
The Poms won the first one-day game with one over to spare, and the second with more than five overs to spare!
Still three to go ...

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