Forum: Author Hangout

Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there.

Perfect example. See, we don't need to know her weight, her bra size or the color of her hair, where Florin is, what kind of horse she has or the size of the farm boy's dick.

Although I am wondering whether she dreams about going to college. Or moving to the big city someday.

bb

The Princess Bride

Well, um, yes. I didn't want to be too obvious about it.

bb

That doesn't tell us anything about Buttercup's motivation. It's just a small scale infodump.

AJ

That doesn't tell us anything about Buttercup's motivation. It's just a small scale infodump.

No, it encapsulates her driving motivation, at least for the moment: she's not going to let anyone else push her around, to tell her what to do. What you do with that, and how you develop her as a character, all revolve around that, but it's hardly the end of her story, it's just the starting point: one which governs how she'll respond to any given situation.

What's more, knowing she has a stubborn streak, any time something happens in the story, readers will instinctively turn to her to see how she'll respond, possibly allowing the protagonist to slip in and surprise everyone.

You really think that tells us Buttercup won't let anyone push her around and has a stubborn streak? I didn't get that at all. I got that Buttercup is too lazy to do any work and likes to bully people, not a nice person at all.

The one sentence alone (not referencing the movie) could go either way, which is why it's a great opening line, as it makes us want to figure out which she is--a positive force in the world, determined to achieve something--or a negative force, equally determined to tear others down.

But then, opening lines are a separate issues than introducing character's motives when you introduce the character.

That doesn't tell us anything about Buttercup's motivation. It's just a small scale infodump.

We know what she likes to do and we might assume she'd like to continue doing it. So we do know what she wants for now. Until she meets that dark handsome stranger we already know is in her future, of course.

bb

It tells us what Buttercup likes to do. It doesn't tell us what she wants. She might want to be a jockey or a showjumper, or the horse riding might just be a form of escape, to get away from a horrible home life.

I think this is one of the examples you asked for, which succeeds despite not revealing what the protagonist wants.

AJ

I think this is one of the examples you asked for, which succeeds despite not revealing what the protagonist wants.

Got it, thanks.

bb

Sorkin's advice is excellent, but remember, he's restricted by a single hour's time frame, which is taken by by another twenty characters. Often, it's more effective if you slowly reveal someone's motives more slowly, a bit at a time.

A character might conceal his motives as well, and we might find out his real motive, what he really wants, much later after we think we've got his number.

bb

A character might conceal his motives as well, and we might find out his real motive, what he really wants, much later after we think we've got his number.

Although, typically, in a case like that, most successful authors leave clues, so you're never quite sure where they stand, until the big reveal, when everyone learns what an ass the character is. That's where the SHOW is vital, as the character's behavior often belittle their words.

That advice could lead to an overabundance of one-dimensional protagonists. That might be okay in short stories or parables, but I prefer characters to be multi-dimensional.

There's nothing requiring simple characters here. Even if reader's know the character's primary motive, they may be conflicted, torn between two competing motives/emotions, which one that wins out deciding how they'll finally act. Conflict, especially internal conflicts, are the driving force of fiction and drama. It's in real life that we can never tell what someone really thinks about something, and is why we're reluctant to trust anyone!

Buttercup? Is that a name for a human being?

No, in this case it's the name of a bloodsucking insect, normal food horses but also partial to humans ;)

AJ