I was on a dark web site and stumbled on this bit. I found it hilarious and thought I should share. It's written in the style common on that site, needs getting used to:
Titled: Worst Sex Story
Just graduated
Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party
Both extremely drunk
On my bed
She starts rubbing my cock through my jeans
Says that she's never role played and wants to try
"O-okay what do you want to do?"
"Ive always wanted to fuck Jack Sparrow"
Wat.jpg
Only thing I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago
Letsdothis.avi
She starts sucking me off
in the spurr of the moment I shout "THARR SHE BLOWS!"
Realize what I just said
She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my dick and puking
Cum because she was deepthroating when it happened
Dad walks in
"Hey Jay do you...."
Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend
Mixture of cum and puke all over bed
Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey"
He backs out and closes my door
Pretty sure he ran after closing the door
Never looks me in the eye again
