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A story with a rape near the start. how to minimise?

Freyrs_stories 🚫

I have a handful of irons in the fire on the story front and while I'm waiting to hear back from a few people in regards to one story, I thought I'd look at another draft.

Now re-told near the start is an off camera rape of a girl. she was given a cocktail of drugs and has no memory of the event and almost no physical scars to prove the event. However the main characters know it happened due to unimpeachable proof that I won't go right into now.

The major problem I have is that even without direct 'scars' it is still a traumatic and changing event. I need to walk a balanced line treating this seriously. I don't want to minimise the event and not respect the seriousness of it. But I also need to show that it by circumstance not caused considerable trauma to the lead female character who looks to her father for support and comfort.

now there are later issues that come to light but she was definitely assaulted against her will, but as I said no 'scars' or at the least and this is the bit I need help with. Such oblique issue with what happened to her that for 'most' of the story it doesn't effect her. Now I'm not saying there is 'no' effect but it is nebulous and I need help with making my 'idea' work in words.

It's a serious issue and I don't want to use 'handwavium' to magic it away in a way that will hurt the later story. I've only written 6k words, expecting at least 50k before I'm finished. So I'd call it a medium length story, it might go all the way to 100k but I don't know if I have enough ideas to go past that count. There is a pregnancy and compensation as a result. There will also be a court case that the family has to go through and a few other twists and turns of course.

I guess what I'm asking if someone, preferably a female someone has any ideas to make this all work in my embryonic story. I'm not actually writing right now due to a pair of unrelated injuries that make typing difficult for much if any period past a few minutes. A bit of too and fro here is all I can manage till the middle of January when I've hopefully healed a little more.

I leave this in your capable hands for now.

Till later F.

LOAnnie 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

Trauma manifests in a variety of ways that's different for each person. Her friends (and maybe father) knowing, and her (vehemently) denying it happened could easily be her traumatic response…

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories 🚫

@LOAnnie

She's not saying it didn't happen and she does have trauma. But as you said different people manifest differently.

here's an excerpt from an early section.


he next week she was off school and I took some emergency leave. Gab wouldn't leave my side, she slept in bed with me every night, she would wake up in the morning crying begging me to wash her clean. I couldn't refuse her, the shower was not convenient but the spa bath in my bathroom was as good as it could get. I just poured her from the loose t-shirt she wore to bed into the warm swirling waters, her naked form briefly visible as she was soon covered in the foam of the hot tub. She didn't want to be left alone and I would sit there and wash her back for her but go no further she had already been violated, but sometimes she would ask to be held, and she pressed her firm breast into my hand, as I held her from behind, the same way I held her in bed. I was initially surprised at her lack of worry about being naked with a man, she had just been raped but this was soon brought out in the few therapy sessions she did go to. I needed to be a safe male, an anchor for her to feel safe with whilst she was still so very vulnerable.

The hospital sent her to a rape crisis counsellor but they had a hard time working with her. She had no memory of the event from the drugs found in her system combined with the amazing and almost total lack of physical trauma Gab didn't want to talk about much other than how humiliated she felt found naked and covered in cum and other bodily fluids. It seemed the care was making her feel worse rather than better, at least the news had been mostly censored, by a court order.


what I am trying to do is show that despite the traumatic event she draws even closer to her father. He is her rock and knows that bringing it up unduly will cause more grief.

Perhaps she is walking a tightrope between open and direct discussion and more 'typical' responses. It is a very serious issue and I'm trying to find a novel mechanic to minimise her trauma but still give the event the acknowledgement it needs.

I typed what I have quite a while ago and seem to of lost the flow I had. but I need something I can write (very) slowly while I wait to hear back on another project. that's the 'serious' story I'm well into the weeds of, over 80K of around 100-120K words. it will actually be much longer but I need to get editing this slab of text before it turns into a monolith that cannot be managed when the ideas I have are slowly introduced.

I'm going to spend the next week carefully poking at this one, mainly to exercise the old noodle so that it's back in shape for the big job coming up. But that doesn't mean that this story is not going to receive a serious attempt at writing only that it's being used, temporarily at least as a training exercise that won't need significant redress when I do come back to it at some future point.

Again, thanks in advance for input.

F.

Replies:   Paladin_HGWT
Paladin_HGWT 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

Perhaps you should just write what you Feel is correct. Then get feedback from some people whose opinions you trust.

I don't think there is a genetic or theoretical answer that would work well with your story.

You are trying to tell a particular story. I think I understand what you are trying to do. However, I got a better understanding from reading the excerpt you posted than from your request for assistance.

Individual reactions are different to rape, or to combat, and other traumatic events.

While I have sat and discussed with other veterans our experiences, both in combat, and hours, days, months, and years later. Also, what we observed of others. I have read SLA Marshall, and Grossman, as well as others.

I did this as part of my duties as an Infantry NCO. I still do as part of my duties as a volunteer for several veterans organizations.

Similar to you writing Your story, I find it is better for me to write a particular scene, then get specific feedback. Because sometimes things "sound" differentin our heads so, getting perspective on what you actually write is almost certainly better than generic advice.

I have had the unfortunate experience of having to be there for victims of rape or other sexual assaults, and feeling inadequate.

The snippet you provided seems "authentic" to a particular individual.

Rape is a subject that will offend certain people, and there is no way for you to write it and they won't be offended.

An Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, said, "I cannot define the difference between porn and art, but I know it when I see it."

I believe that is actually common sense. Although not everyone will always agree on what is art, and not, nor what is porn. There is probably more agreement on 80%+ of such things.

There are stories about rape that make me feel icky, and I stop reading. Your snippet did not feel that way at all.

Multiple times in the Stupid Boy/Better Man series there are depictions of rape, sexual assault, and attempted. These are unfortunately common occurrences in high school, universities, Hollywood, and "star" athletes. I believe G. Younger handles the various scenes well.

Not all sexual assaults are the same. There are incidents of gray with people being drunk, drugged, etc. Women have taken advantage of boys, or men, or other females. Some women want sex after a rape because they don't want to feel rejected. Feeling "unclean" is quite common. Your depiction seems authentic of one way that might manifest for a particular individual.

So, I would consider the input of various people on this thread. Write the scenes, then get some specific feedback on the scenes you write.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Paladin_HGWT

An Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, said, "I cannot define the difference between porn and art, but I know it when I see it."

It's part of the job of the legal profession to define the law so that people can't be taken by surprise. He's admitting he's not fit for his job.

AJ

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

@Paladin_HGWT

An Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, said, "I cannot define the difference between porn and art, but I know it when I see it."

It's part of the job of the legal profession to define the law so that people can't be taken by surprise. He's admitting he's not fit for his job.

The quote, which Paladin_HGWT gets wrong*, is from a case the US Supreme Court decided in 1964. The justice who said it is no longer on the court.

*The actual quote is: "I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description, and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that."

And the shorthand description he was referring to was obscenity, not porn.

https://www.mtsu.edu/first-amendment/article/1359/potter-stewart

Replies:   JoeBobMack
JoeBobMack 🚫

@Dominions Son

@Paladin_HGWT

An Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, said, "I cannot define the difference between porn and art, but I know it when I see it."

It's part of the job of the legal profession to define the law so that people can't be taken by surprise. He's admitting he's not fit for his job.

The quote, which Paladin_HGWT gets wrong*, is from a case the US Supreme Court decided in 1964. The justice who said it is no longer on the court.

*The actual quote is: "I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description, and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that."

And the shorthand description he was referring to was obscenity, not porn.

But awnlee jawking is right. It is the job of the legal profession, in this case broadly understood to include the politicians who draft the laws and administrative agencies who operate under delegated authority within the executive branch under laws passed by the legislature -- in other words, the government -- to make and administer laws in ways that are comprehensible to the average person with reasonable attention and effort.

Unfortunately, that is often not the case. Obscenity is one such area as it is an exception to the general prohibition on government regulation of speech established by the First Amendment. But defining the limits of obscenity has been and remains an incredibly difficult problem.

Of course, the difficulties modern governments have in defining prohibited conduct in ways that are clear to the average citizen extend far beyond free speech. For example, ordinary folks might be excused in thinking that bumble bees are not fish, but great legal minds understand that no such artificial lines can be allowed to exist if, in doing so, they also limit the power of the state. https://toputitbluntly.com/2022/09/30/the-california-court-decision-defining-bumble-bees-as-fish-is-a-loss-for-the-california-courts/

Dicrostonyx 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

This feels like the kind of question that reddit might be good at answering since it's not like there's one single "correct" answer. Explain the situation in the story, get a bunch of different responses, and adapt the one you like.

I'm not sure off-hand what subs would be good for survivor's stories, especially since many of those are focused more on helping people than academic questions, but you might go to a sub like r/writing/ and pose the question.

Freyrs_stories 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

thanks for the responses, I'll likely try a few 'scenes' and massage some of the points so that I have references and maybe goalposts.

I do have a lot of the 'plot' in my head but I'm finding major resistance writing the rape angle and not making much progress as a result. it is an early core to the story, but without this anchor I don't know how to build some of the characters if you get what I mean.

perhaps some more reading is required till I find the nexus to grow that particular crystal on.

thanks guys

F.

richardshagrin 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

The Ashley Series β€” a series by Uncle Jim
These are stories about Ashley, her husband and children.
Add Series/Collection to Library
Title Description (Date / Update) Size Dnlds Votes Score
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Ashley
Science Fiction
πŸ“
On returning from an out of town repair job at one in the morning, Bill finds a naked abused girl on his front porch. He takes her in and takes care of her, but is not happy that someone has done this to her. Later when the same people come looking for her again, they find out what happens when you upset a retired professional hit man and assassin.
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Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Rape, Heterosexual, Science Fiction, Torture, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Violent

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories 🚫

@richardshagrin

I'll get back to you guys after a reasonable amount of 'research' read stealing ideas and twisting them my own unique (hopefully) way.

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